Transcription of the poem
Dearest Creature in creation
Studying English pronunciation,
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.
I will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
Tear in eye your dress you'll tear;
Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.
Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear sew it!
Just compare heart, beard and heard,
Dies and diet, Lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain
(Mind the latter how it is written);
Made has not the sound of bade,
Say, said, pay, laid but not plaid.
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,
But be careful how you speak,
Say gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak,
Previous, precious, fuchsia, via,
Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir,
Woven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipts, shoe, poem, toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore
Typhoid, measles, topsail, aisles
Exiles, similes, reviles,
Holy, holly, signal, signing
Same, examining but mining
Scholar, vicar, but cigar,
Solar, mica, war, and far,
From “desire” desirable,
admirable from “admire”,
Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier,
Topsham, Brougham, renown, but known.
Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone,
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel,
Gertrude, German, wind, and mind
Scene, Melpomene, mankind,
tortoise, Turquoise, Chamois-leather
Reading, Reading, heathen, heather,
This phonetic labyrinth
Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.
Billet does not end like ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like wood,
Nor is mould, like should and could.
Banquet is not nearly parquet,
Which doesn’t exactly rhyme with
khaki.
Discount, viscount, load and broad,
Towards, to forward, to reward,
Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet?
Right! Your pronunciation’s O.K.
/‘dɪərɪst ‘kri:tʃə ɪn kri’eɪʃən/
/‘stʌdɪƞ ‘ɪƞglɪʃ prənʌntsi’eɪʃən/
/aɪ wɪl ‘ti:tʃ jə ɪn maɪ ‘vɜ:s/
/’saʊndz laɪk ‘kɔ:ps/ ‘kɔ:ʳ/ ‘hɔ:s ən ‘wɜ:s//
/aɪ wɪl ‘ki:p jə/ ‘sʌzi/ ‘bɪzi/
/’meɪk jə ‘hed wɪð ‘hi:t ‘grəʊ ‘dɪzi/
/’tɪə ɪn ‘aɪ jər ‘dres jəl ‘tia/
/’kwə/ ‘feə ‘sɪə/ ‘hɪə maɪ ‘preɪə//
/’preɪ/ kən’səʊl jə ‘lʌvɪƞ ‘pəʊɪt/
/’meɪk maɪ ‘kəʊt ‘lʊk ‘nju:/ ‘dɪə ‘səʊ ɪt//
/’dʒʌst kəm’peə ‘hɑ:t/ ‘bɪəd ən ‘herd/
/’daɪz ən ‘daɪət/ ‘lɔ:d ən ‘wɜ:d/
/’sɔ:d ən ‘sɜ:d/ ri’teɪn ən ‘britən/
/’maɪnd ðə ‘lætəʳ ‘haʊ ɪt ɪz ‘rɪtən/
/’meɪd həz nət ðə ‘saʊnd əv ‘bæd/
/’seɪ/’sed/’peɪ/’leɪd bət nət ‘plæd//
/’naʊ aɪ ‘ʃɔ:lɪ wɪl nət ‘pleɪg jə/
/wɪð sʌtʃ ‘wɜ:dz əz ‘veɪg ən ‘eɪg/
/bət bɪ ‘keəfəl haʊ jə ‘spi:k/
/’seɪ ‘gʌʃ/ ‘bʊʃ/ ‘sti:k/ ‘streɪk/ ‘breɪk/ ‘bli:k/
/’pri:viəs/ ‘preʃəs/ ‘fju:ʃə/ ‘vaɪə/
/’resɪpi/ ‘paɪp/ ‘stʌdɪƞseɪl/ ‘kwaɪə/
/’wəʊvən/ ‘ʌvən/ ‘haʊ ən ‘ləʊ/
/’skrɪpt/ re’si:ts/ ‘ʃu:/ ‘pəʊɪm/ ‘təʊ//
/’hɪə mi ‘seɪ/ dɪ’vɔɪd əv ‘trɪkəri/
/’dɔ:tə/ ‘lɑ:ftə/ ən ‘tersɪkəʊ/
/’taɪfɔɪd/ ‘mi:zḷz/ ‘tɒpseɪl/ ‘aɪlz/
/’eksaɪlz/ ‘sɪmɪliz/ rɪ’vaɪlz/