Chapter
2
It happened one day that
he came running upstairs, towards the room where his sisters used to sit and
work, as he often used to do; and calling to them before he came in, as was his
way too, I, being there alone, stepped to the door, and said, ‘Sir, the ladies
are not here, they are walked down the garden.’ As I stepped forward to say
this, towards the door, he was just got to the door, and clasping me in his
arms, as if it had been by chance, ‘Oh, Mrs. Betty,’ says he,
‘are you here? That’s better still; I want to speak with you more than I do
with them’; and then, having me in his arms, he kissed me three or four times.
I struggled to get away,
and yet did it but faintly neither, and he held me fast, and still kissed me,
till he was almost out of breath, and then, sitting down, says, ‘Dear Betty,
I am in love with you.’
His words, I must
confess, fired my blood; all my spirits flew about my heart and put me into
disorder enough, which he might easily have seen in my face. He repeated it
afterwards several times, that he was in love with me, and my heart spoke as
plain as a voice, that I liked it; nay, whenever he said, ‘I am in love with
you,’ my blushes plainly replied, ‘Would you were, sir.’
However, nothing else
passed at that time; it was but a surprise, and when he was gone I soon
recovered myself again. He had stayed longer with me, but he happened to look
out at the window and see his sisters coming up the garden, so he took his
leave, kissed me again, told me he was very serious, and I should hear more of
him very quickly, and away he went, leaving me infinitely pleased, though
surprised; and had there not been one misfortune in it, I had been in the
right, but the mistake lay here, that Mrs. Betty was in earnest and the
gentleman was not.
From this time my head
ran upon strange things, and I may truly say I was not myself; to have such a
gentleman talk to me of being in love with me, and of my being such a charming
creature, as he told me I was; these were things I knew not how to bear, my vanity
was elevated to the last degree. It is true I had my head full of pride, but,
knowing nothing of the wickedness of the times, I had not one thought of my own
safety or of my virtue about me; and had my young master offered it at first
sight, he might have taken any liberty he thought fit with me; but he did not
see his advantage, which was my happiness for that time.
After this attack it was
not long but he found an opportunity to catch me again,
and almost in the same posture; indeed, it had more of design in it on his
part, though not on my part. It was thus: the young ladies were all gone
a-visiting with their mother; his brother was out of town; and as for his
father, he had been in
It was his younger
sister’s chamber that I was in, and as there was nobody in the house but the maids below-stairs, he was, it may be, the ruder; in short,
he began to be in earnest with me indeed. Perhaps he found me a little too
easy, for God knows I made no resistance to him while he only held me in his
arms and kissed me; indeed, I was too well pleased with it to resist him much.
However, as it were,
tired with that kind of work, we sat down, and there he talked with me a great
while; he said he was charmed with me, and that he could not rest night
or day till he had told me how he was in love with me, and, if I was able to
love him again, and would make him happy, I should be the saving of his life,
and many such fine things. I said little to him again, but easily discovered
that I was a fool, and that I did not in the least perceive what he meant.
Then he walked about the
room, and taking me by the hand, I walked with him; and by and by, taking his
advantage, he threw me down upon the bed, and kissed me there most violently;
but, to give him his due, offered no manner of rudeness to me, only kissed a
great while. After this he thought he had heard somebody come upstairs, so got
off from the bed, lifted me up, professing a great deal of love for me, but
told me it was all an honest affection, and that he meant no ill to me; and
with that he put five guineas into my hand, and went away downstairs.
I was more confounded
with the money than I was before with the love, and began to be so elevated
that I scarce knew the ground I stood on. I am the more particular in this
part, that if my story comes to be read by any innocent young body, they may
learn from it to guard themselves against the mischiefs
which attend an early knowledge of their own beauty. If a young woman once
thinks herself handsome, she never doubts the truth of any man that tells her
he is in love with her; for if she believes herself charming enough to
captivate him, ’tis natural to expect the effects of it.
This young gentleman had
fired his inclination as much as he had my vanity, and, as if he had found that
he had an opportunity and was sorry he did not take hold of it, he comes up
again in half an hour or thereabouts, and falls to work with me again as
before, only with a little less introduction.
And first, when he
entered the room, he turned about and shut the door. ‘Mrs. Betty,’ said
he, ‘I fancied before somebody was coming upstairs, but it was not so;
however,’ adds he, ‘if they find me in the room with you, they shan’t
catch me a-kissing of you.’ I told him I did not know who should be coming
upstairs, for I believed there was nobody in the house but the cook and the
other maid, and they never came up those stairs. ‘Well, my dear,’ says he,
‘’tis good to be sure, however’; and so he sits down, and we began to talk. And
now, though I was still all on fire with his first visit, and said little, he
did as it were put words in my mouth, telling me how passionately he loved me,
and that though he could not mention such a thing till he came to this estate,
yet he was resolved to make me happy then, and himself too; that is to say,
to marry me, and abundance of such fine things, which I, poor fool, did not
understand the drift of, but acted as if there was no such thing as any kind of
love but that which tended to matrimony; and if he had spoke of that, I had no
room, as well as no power, to have said no; but we were not come that length
yet.
We had not sat long, but
he got up, and, stopping my very breath with kisses, threw me upon the bed
again; but then being both well warmed, he went farther with me than decency
permits me to mention, nor had it been in my power to have denied him at that
moment, had he offered much more than he did.
However, though he took
these freedoms with me, it did not go to that which they call the last favour,
which, to do him justice, he did not attempt; and he made that self-denial of
his a plea for all his freedoms with me upon other occasions after this. When
this was over, he stayed but a little while, but he put almost a handful of
gold in my hand, and left me, making a thousand protestations of his passion
for me, and of his loving me above all the women in
the world.
It will not be strange
if I now began to think, but alas! it was but with
very little solid reflection. I had a most unbounded stock of vanity and pride,
and but a very little stock of virtue. I did indeed case sometimes with myself
what young master aimed at, but thought of nothing but the fine words and the
gold; whether he intended to marry me, or not to marry me, seemed a matter of
no great consequence to me; nor did my thoughts so much as suggest to me the
necessity of making any capitulation for myself, till he came to make a kind of
formal proposal to me, as you shall hear presently.
Thus I gave up myself to
a readiness of being ruined without the least concern and am a fair memento to
all young women whose vanity prevails over their virtue. Nothing was ever so
stupid on both sides. Had I acted as became me, and resisted as virtue and
honour require, this gentleman had either desisted his attacks, finding no room
to expect the accomplishment of his design, or had made fair and honourable
proposals of marriage; in which case, whoever had blamed him, nobody could have
blamed me. In short, if he had known me, and how easy the trifle he aimed at
was to be had, he would have troubled his head no farther, but have given me
four or five guineas, and have lain with me the next time he had come at me.
And if I had known his thoughts, and how hard he thought I would be to be
gained, I might have made my own terms with him; and if I had not capitulated
for an immediate marriage, I might for a maintenance till marriage, and might
have had what I would; for he was already rich to excess, besides what he had
in expectation; but I seemed wholly to have abandoned all such thoughts as
these, and was taken up only with the pride of my beauty, and of being beloved
by such a gentleman. As for the gold, I spent whole hours in looking upon it; I
told the guineas over and over a thousand times a day. Never poor vain creature
was so wrapt up with every part of the story as I was, not considering what was
before me, and how near my ruin was at the door; indeed, I think I rather
wished for that ruin than studied to avoid it.
In the meantime,
however, I was cunning enough not to give the least room to any in the family
to suspect me, or to imagine that I had the least correspondence with this
young gentleman. I scarce ever looked towards him in public, or answered if he
spoke to me when anybody was near us; but for all that, we had every now and
then a little encounter, where we had room for a word or two, an now and then a
kiss, but no fair opportunity for the mischief intended; and especially considering
that he made more circumlocution than, if he had known by thoughts, he had
occasion for; and the work appearing difficult to him, he really made it so.
But as the devil is an
unwearied tempter, so he never fails to find opportunity for that wickedness he
invites to. It was one evening that I was in the garden, with his two younger
sisters and himself, and all very innocently merry, when he found means to
convey a note into my hand, by which he directed me to understand that he would
to-morrow desire me publicly to go of an errand for him into the town, and that
I should see him somewhere by the way.
Accordingly, after
dinner, he very gravely says to me, his sisters being all by, ‘Mrs. Betty,
I must ask a favour of you.’ ‘What’s that?’ says his second sister.
‘Nay, sister,’ says he very gravely, ‘if you can’t spare Mrs. Betty
to-day, any other time will do.’ Yes, they said, they could spare her
well enough, and the sister begged pardon for asking, which they did but of
mere course, without any meaning. ‘Well, but, brother,’ says the eldest sister,
‘you must tell Mrs. Betty what it is; if it be any private business that
we must not hear, you may call her out. There she is.’ ‘Why, sister,’ says the
gentleman very gravely, ‘what do you mean? I only desire her to do into the High
Street’ (and then he pulls out a turnover), ‘to such a shop’; and then he
tells them a long story of two fine neckcloths he had
bid money for, and he wanted to have me go and make an errand to buy a neck to
the turnover that he showed, to see if they would take my money for the neckcloths; to bid a shilling more, and haggle with them;
and then he made more errands, and so continued to have such petty business to
do, that I should be sure to stay a good while.
When he had given me my
errands, he told them a long story of a visit he was going to make to a family
they all knew, and where was to be such-and-such gentlemen, and how merry they
were to be, and very formally asks his sisters to go with him, and they as
formally excused themselves, because of company that they had notice was to
come and visit them that afternoon; which, by the way, he had contrived on
purpose.
He had scarce done
speaking to them, and giving me my errand, but his man came up to tell him that
Sir W— H—’s coach stopped at the door; so he runs down, and comes up again
immediately. ‘Alas!’ says he aloud, ‘there’s all my mirth spoiled at
once; sir W— has sent his coach for me, and desires to speak with me upon some
earnest business.’ It seems this Sir W—- was a gentleman who lived about three
miles out of town, to whom he had spoken on purpose the day before, to lend him
his chariot for a particular occasion, and had appointed it to call for him, as
it did, about three o’clock.
Immediately he calls for
his best wig, hat, and sword, and ordering his man to go to the other place to
make his excuse— that was to say, he made an excuse to send his man away—he
prepares to go into the coach. As he was going, he stopped a while, and speaks
mighty earnestly to me about his business, and finds an opportunity to say very
softly to me, ‘Come away, my dear, as soon as ever you can.’ I said
nothing, but made a curtsy, as if I had done so to what he said in public. In
about a quarter of an hour I went out too; I had no dress other than before,
except that I had a hood, a mask, a fan, and a pair of gloves in my pocket; so
that there was not the least suspicion in the house. He waited for me in the
coach in a back lane, which he knew I must pass by, and had
directed the coachman whither to go, which was to a certain place, called Mile
End, where lived a confidant of his, where we went in, and where was all the
convenience in the world to be as wicked as we pleased.
When we were together he
began to talk very gravely to me, and to tell me he did not bring me there to
betray me; that his passion for me would not suffer him to abuse me; that he
resolved to marry me as soon as he came to his estate; that in the meantime, if
I would grant his request, he would maintain me very honourably; and
made me a thousand protestations of his sincerity and of his affection to me;
and that he would never abandon me, and as I may say, made a thousand
more preambles than he need to have done.
However, as he pressed
me to speak, I told him I had no reason to question the sincerity of his love
to me after so many protestations, but—and there I stopped, as if I left him to
guess the rest. ‘But what, my dear?’ says he. ’I guess what you mean:
what if you should be with child? Is not that it? Why, then,’ says he,
‘I’ll take care of you and provide for you, and the child too; and that you may
see I am not in jest,’ says he, ‘here’s an earnest for you,’ and with
that he pulls out a silk purse, with an hundred guineas in it, and gave it me.
‘And I’ll give you such another,’ says he, ‘every year till I marry
you.’
My colour came and went,
at the sight of the purse and with the fire of his proposal together, so that I
could not say a word, and he easily perceived it; so putting the purse into my
bosom, I made no more resistance to him, but let him do just what he pleased,
and as often as he pleased; and thus I finished my own destruction at once, for
from this day, being forsaken of my virtue and my modesty, I had nothing of
value left to recommend me, either to God’s blessing or man’s assistance.
But things did not end
here. I went back to the town, did the business he publicly directed me to, and
was at home before anybody thought me long. As for my gentleman, he stayed out,
as he told me he would, till late at night, and there was not the least
suspicion in the family either on his account or on mine.
We had, after this,
frequent opportunities to repeat our crime —chiefly by his
contrivance—especially at home, when his mother and the young ladies went
abroad a-visiting, which he watched so narrowly as never to miss; knowing
always beforehand when they went out, and then failed not to catch me all
alone, and securely enough; so that we took our fill of our wicked pleasure for
near half a year; and yet, which was the most to my satisfaction, I was not
with child.
But before this
half-year was expired, his younger brother, of whom I have made some mention in
the beginning of the story, falls to work with me; and he, finding me along in
the garden one evening, begins a story of the same kind to me, made good honest
professions of being in love with me, and in short, proposes fairly and
honourably to marry me, and that before he made any other offer to me at all.
I was now confounded,
and driven to such an extremity as the like was never known; at least not to
me. I resisted the proposal with obstinacy; and now I began to arm myself with
arguments. I laid before him the inequality of the match; the treatment I
should meet with in the family; the ingratitude it would be to his good father
and mother, who had taken me into their house upon such generous principles,
and when I was in such a low condition; and, in short, I said everything to
dissuade him from his design that I could imagine, except telling him the
truth, which would indeed have put an end to It all, but that I durst not think
of mentioning.
But here happened a
circumstance that I did not expect indeed, which put me to my shifts; for this
young gentleman, as he was plain and honest, so he pretended to nothing with me
but what was so too; and, knowing his own innocence, he was not so careful to
make his having a kindness for Mrs. Betty a secret I the house, as his
brother was. And though he did not let them know that he had talked to me about
it, yet he said enough to let his sisters perceive he loved me, and his mother
saw it too, which, though they took no notice of it to me, yet they did to him,
an immediately I found their carriage to me altered, more than ever before.
I saw the cloud, though
I did not foresee the storm. It was easy, I say, to see that their
carriage to me was altered, and that it grew worse and worse every day; till at
last I got information among the servants that I should, in a very little
while, be desired to remove.
I was not alarmed at the
news, having a full satisfaction that I should be otherwise provided for; and
especially considering that I had reason every day to expect I should be with
child, and that then I should be obliged to remove without any pretences for it.
After some time the
younger gentleman took an opportunity to tell me that the kindness he had for
me had got vent in the family. He did not charge me with it, he said,
for he know well enough which way it came out. He told
me his plain way of talking had been the occasion of it, for that he did not
make his respect for me so much a secret as he might have done, and the reason
was, that he was at a point, that if I would consent to have him, he would tell
them all openly that he loved me, and that he intended to marry me; that it was
true his father and mother might resent it, and be unkind, but that he was now
in a way to live, being bred to the law, and he did not fear maintaining me
agreeable to what I should expect; and that, in short, as he believed I would
not be ashamed of him, so he was resolved not to be ashamed of me, and that he
scorned to be afraid to own me now, whom he resolved to own after I was his
wife, and therefore I had nothing to do but to give him my hand, and he would
answer for all the rest.
I was now in a dreadful
condition indeed, and now I repented heartily my easiness with the eldest
brother; not from any reflection of conscience, but from a view of the
happiness I might have enjoyed, and had now made impossible; for though I had
no great scruples of conscience, as I have said, to struggle with, yet I
could not think of being a whore to one brother and a wife to the other. But
then it came into my thoughts that the first brother had promised to made me
his wife when he came to his estate; but I presently remembered what I had
often thought of, that he had never spoken a word of having me for a wife after
he had conquered me for a mistress; and indeed, till now, though I said I
thought of it often, yet it gave me no disturbance at all, for as he did not
seem in the least to lessen his affection to me, so neither did he lessen his
bounty, though he had the discretion himself to desire me not to lay out a
penny of what he gave me in clothes, or to make the least show extraordinary,
because it would necessarily give jealousy in the family, since everybody know
I could come at such things no manner of ordinary way, but by some private
friendship, which they would presently have suspected.
But I was now in a great
strait, and knew not what to do. The main difficulty was this: the younger
brother not only laid close siege to me, but suffered it to be seen. He would
come into his sister’s room, and his mother’s room, and sit down, and talk a
thousand kind things of me, and to me, even before their faces, and when they
were all there. This grew so public that the whole house talked of it, and his
mother reproved him for it, and their carriage to me appeared quite altered. In
short, his mother had let fall some speeches, as if she intended to put me out
of the family; that is, in English, to turn me out of doors. Now I was
sure this could not be a secret to his brother, only that he might not think,
as indeed nobody else yet did, that the youngest brother had made any proposal
to me about it; but as I easily could see that it would go farther, so I saw
likewise there was an absolute necessity to speak of it to him, or that he
would speak of it to me, and which to do first I knew not; that is, whether I
should break it to him or let it alone till he should break it to me.
Upon serious
consideration, for indeed now I began to consider things very seriously, and
never till now; I say, upon serious consideration, I resolved to tell him of it
first; and it was not long before I had an opportunity, for the very next day
his brother went to London upon some business, and the family being out
a-visiting, just as it had happened before, and as indeed was often the case,
he came according to his custom, to spend an hour or two with Mrs. Betty.
When he came and had sat
down a while, he easily perceived there was an alteration in my countenance,
that I was not so free and pleasant with him as I used to be, and particularly,
that I had been a-crying; he was not long before he took notice of it, and
asked me in very kind terms what was the matter, and if anything troubled me. I
would have put it off if I could, but it was not to be concealed; so after
suffering many importunities to draw that out of me which I longed as much as
possible to disclose, I told him that it was true something did trouble me, and
something of such a nature that I could not conceal from him, and yet that I
could not tell how to tell him of it neither; that it was a thing that not only
surprised me, but greatly perplexed me, and that I knew not what course to
take, unless he would direct me. He told me with great tenderness,
that let it be what it would, I should not let it trouble me, for he
would protect me from all the world.
I then began at a
distance, and told him I was afraid the ladies had got some secret information
of our correspondence; for that it was easy to see that their conduct was very
much changed towards me for a great while, and that now it was come to that
pass that they frequently found fault with me, and sometimes fell quite out
with me, though I never gave them the least occasion; that whereas I used
always to lie with the eldest sister, I was lately put to lie by myself, or
with one of the maids; and that I had overheard them several times talking very
unkindly about me; but that which confirmed it all was, that one of the
servants had told me that she had heard I was to be turned out, and that it was
not safe for the family that I should be any longer in the house.
He smiled when he herd
all this, and I asked him how he could make so light of it, when he must needs
know that if there was any discovery I was undone for ever, and that even it
would hurt him, though not ruin him as it would me. I upbraided him, that he
was like all the rest of the sex, that, when they had the character and honour
of a woman at their mercy, oftentimes made it their jest, and at least looked
upon it as a trifle, and counted the ruin of those they had had their will of
as a thing of no value.
He saw me warm and
serious, and he changed his style immediately; he told me he was sorry I
should have such a thought of him; that he had never given me the least
occasion for it, but had been as tender of my reputation as he could be of his
own; that he was sure our correspondence had been managed with so much address,
that not one creature in the family had so much as a suspicion of it; that if
he smiled when I told him my thoughts, it was at the assurance he lately
received, that our understanding one another was not so much as known or
guessed at; and that when he had told me how much reason he had to be easy, I
should smile as he did, for he was very certain it would give me a full
satisfaction.
‘This is a mystery I
cannot understand,’ says I, ‘or how it should be to my satisfaction that
I am to be turned out of doors; for if our correspondence is not discovered, I
know not what else I have done to change the countenances of the whole family
to me, or to have them treat me as they do now, who formerly used me with so
much tenderness, as if I had been one of their own children.’
‘Why, look you, child,’ says
he, ‘that they are uneasy about you, that is true; but that they have the
least suspicion of the case as it is, and as it respects you and I, is so far
from being true, that they suspect my brother Robin; and, in short, they
are fully persuaded he makes love to you; nay, the fool has put it into their
heads too himself, for he is continually bantering them about it, and making a
jest of himself. I confess I think he is wrong to do so, because he cannot but
see it vexes them, and makes them unkind to you; but ’tis a satisfaction to me,
because of the assurance it gives me, that they do not suspect me in the least,
and I hope this will be to your satisfaction too.’
‘So it is,’ says I, ‘one way; but this does not reach my
case at all, nor is this the chief thing that troubles me, though I have been
concerned about that too.’ ‘What is it, then?’ says he. With which I
fell to tears, and could say nothing to him at all. He strove to pacify me all
he could, but began at last to be very pressing upon me to tell what it was. At
last I answered that I thought I ought to tell him too, and that he had
some right to know it; besides, that I wanted his direction in the case, for I
was in such perplexity that I knew not what course to take, and then I related
the whole affair to him. I told him how imprudently his brother had
managed himself, in making himself so public; for that if he had kept it a
secret, as such a thing out to have been, I could but have denied him
positively, without giving any reason for it, and he would in time have ceased
his solicitations; but that he had the vanity, first, to depend upon it that I
would not deny him, and then had taken the freedom to tell his resolution of
having me to the whole house.
I told him how
far I had resisted him, and told him how sincere and honourable his
offers were. ‘But,’ says I, ’my case will be doubly hard; for as they
carry it ill to me now, because he desires to have me, they’ll carry it worse
when they shall find I have denied him; and they will presently say, there’s
something else in it, and then out it comes that I am married already to
somebody else, or that I would never refuse a match so much above me as this
was.’
This discourse surprised
him indeed very much. He told me that it was a critical point indeed for
me to manage, and he did not see which way I should get out of it; but he would
consider it, and let me know next time we met, what resolution he was come to
about it; and in the meantime desired I would not give my consent to his brother,
nor yet give him a flat denial, but that I would hold him in suspense a while.
I seemed to start at his
saying I should not give him my consent. I told him he knew very well I
had no consent to give; that he had engaged himself to marry me, and that my consent
was the same time engaged to him; that he had all along told me I was his wife,
and I looked upon myself as effectually so as if the ceremony had passed; and
that it was from his own mouth that I did so, he having all along persuaded me
to call myself his wife.
‘Well, my dear,’ says
he, ‘don’t be concerned at that now; if I am not your husband, I’ll be as
good as a husband to you; and do not let those things trouble you now, but let
me look a little farther into this affair, and I shall be able to say more next
time we meet.’
He pacified me as well
as he could with this, but I found he was very thoughtful, and that though he
was very kind to me and kissed me a thousand times, and more I believe, and
gave me money too, yet he offered no more all the while we were together, which
was above two hours, and which I much wondered at indeed at that time,
considering how it used to be, and what opportunity we had.
His brother did not come
from London for five or six days, and it was two days more before he got
an opportunity to talk with him; but then getting him by himself he began to
talk very close to him about it, and the same evening got an opportunity (for
we had a long conference together) to repeat all their discourse to me, which,
as near as I can remember, was to the purpose following. He told him he
heard strange news of him since he went, viz. that he made love to Mrs. Betty.
’Well, says his brother a little angrily, ‘and so I do. And what then? What has anybody to do with that?’ ‘Nay,’ says
his brother, ‘don’t be angry, Robin; I don’t pretend to have
anything to do with it; nor do I pretend to be angry with you about it. But I
find they do concern themselves about it, and that they have used the poor girl
ill about it, which I should take as done to myself.’ ‘Whom do you mean by THEY?’ says Robin. ‘I mean my mother and the girls,’ says
the elder brother.
‘But hark ye,’ says
his brother, ‘are you in earnest? Do you really love this girl? You may be
free with me, you know.’ ‘Why, then,’ says Robin, ‘I will be free with
you; I do love her above all the women in the world, and I will have her, let them
say and do what they will. I believe the girl will not deny me.’
It struck me to the
heart when he told me this, for though it was most rational to think I
would not deny him, yet I knew in my own conscience I must deny him, and I saw
my ruin in my being obliged to do so; but I knew it was my business to talk
otherwise then, so I interrupted him in his story thus.
‘Ay!,’
said I, ‘does he think I cannot deny him? But he shall find I can deny
him, for all that.’
‘Well, my dear,’ says
he, ‘but let me give you the whole story as it went on between us, and then
say what you will.’
Then he went on and told
me that he replied thus: ‘But, brother, you know she has nothing, and you
may have several ladies with good fortunes.’ ‘’Tis no
matter for that,’ said Robin; ‘I love the girl, and I will never please
my pocket in marrying, and not please my fancy.’ ‘And so, my dear,’ adds he,
‘there is no opposing him.’
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