DESPONDING
Phillis was endu'd
With
ev'ry
Talent of a Prude,
She
trembled
when a Man drew near;
Salute
her, and
she turn'd her Ear:
If
o'er against
her you were plac't
She
durst not
look above your Wa[i]st;
She'd
rather
take you to her Bed
Than
let you
see her dress her Head;
In
Church you
heard her thro' the Crowd
Repeat
the
Absolution loud;
In
Church,
secure behind her Fan
She
durst
behold that Monster, Man:
There
practic'd
how to place her Head,
And
bit her
Lips to make them red:
Or on
the Matt
devoutly kneeling
Would
lift her
Eyes up to the Ceeling,
And
heave her
Bosom unaware
For
neighb'ring
Beaux to see it bare.
At
length a
lucky Lover came,
And
found
Admittance to the Dame.
Suppose all
Partys now agreed,
The
Writings
drawn, the Lawyer fee'd,
The
Vicar and
the Ring bespoke:
Guess
how could
such a Match be broke.
See
then what
Mortals place their Bliss in!
Next
morn
betimes the Bride was missing,
The
Mother
scream'd, the Father chid,
Where
can this
idle Wench be hid?
No
news of
Phil. The Bridegroom came,
And
thought his
Bride had sculk't for shame,
Because her
Father us'd to say
The
Girl had
such a Bashfull way.
Now
John the
Butler must be sent
To
learn the
Road that Phillis went;
The
Groom was
wisht to saddle Crop,
For
John must
neither light nor stop;
But
find her
where so'er she fled,
And
bring her
back, alive or dead.
See
here again
the Dev'l to do;
For
truly John
was missing too:
The
Horse and
Pillion both were gone
Phillis, it
seems, was fled with John.
Old
Madam who
went up to find
What
Papers
Phil had left behind,
A
Letter on the
Toylet sees
To my
much
honor'd Father; These:
('Tis
always
done, Romances tell us,
When
Daughters
run away with Fellows)
Fill'd
with the
choicest common-places,
By
others us'd
in the like Cases.
That,
long ago
a Fortune-teller
Exactly said
what now befell her,
And in
a Glass
had made her see
A
serving-Man
of low Degree:
It was
her
Fate; must be forgiven;
For
Marriages
were made in Heaven:
His
Pardon
begg'd, but to be plain,
She'd
do't if
'twere to do again.
Thank
God,
'twas neither Shame nor Sin,
For
John was
come of honest Kin:
Love
never
thinks of Rich and Poor,
She'd
beg with
John from Door to Door:
Forgive her, if
it be a Crime,
She'll
never
do't another Time,
She
ne'r before
in all her Life
Once
disobey'd
him, Maid nor Wife.
One
Argument
she summ'd up all in,
The
Thing was
done and past recalling:
And
therefore
hop'd she should recover
His
Favor, when
his Passion's over.
She
valued not
what others thought her;
And
was--His
most obedient Daughter.
Fair
Maidens
all attend the Muse
Who
now the
wandring Pair pursues:
Away
they rose
in homely Sort
Their
Journy
long, their Money Short;
The
loving
Couple well bemir'd,
The
Horse and
both the Riders tir'd:
Their
Vittells
bad, their Lodging worse,
Phil
cry'd, and
John began to curse;
Phil
wish't,
that she had strained a Limb
When
first she
ventur'd out with him.
John
wish't,
that he had broke a Leg
When
first for
her he quitted Peg.
But
what
Adventures more befell 'em
The
Muse hath
now no time to tell 'em.
How
Jonny
wheadled, threatned, fawnd,
Till
Phillis
all her Trinkets pawn'd:
How
oft she
broke her marriage Vows
In
kindness to
maintain her Spouse;
Till
Swains
unwholsome spoyled the Trade,
For
now the
Surgeon must be paid;
To
whom those
Perquisites are gone
In
Christian
Justice due to John.
When
Food and
Rayment now grew scarce
Fate
put a
Period to the Farce;
And
with exact
Poetic Justice:
For
John is
Landlord, Phillis Hostess;
They
keep at
Stains the old blue Boar,
Are
Cat and
Dog, and Rogue and Whore.