Poem

Dearest creature in creation

Studying English pronunciation,

I will teach you in my verse

Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

I will keep you, Susy, busy,

Make your head with heat grow dizzy.

Tear in eye your dress you'll tear,

So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer,

Pray, console your loving poet,

Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!

Just compare heart, beard and heard,

Dies and diet, lord and word,

Sword and sward, retain and Britain.

(Mind the latter, how it is written).

Made has not the sound of bade,

Say said, pay-paid, laid, but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague you

With such words as vague and ague,

But be careful how you speak,

Say break, steak, but bleak and streak.

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via,

Pipe, snipe, recipe and choir,

Woven, oven, how and low,

Script, receipts, shoe, poem, toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery:

Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,

Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles

Exiles, similes, reviles.

Transcription

/dɪəɾəst kɾɪtʃə ɪn kɾieiʃən

stʌdɪŋ ɪŋlɪʃ prənʌnsɪˈeɪʃən,

aɪ wil tiʧ juː in mai vɜːrs

saʊndz laik koːps korps hoːs ǝn woːrs.

ai wil kiːp juː sǝzi bizi

meik joːr hed wið hiːt ɡɾəʊ dizi;

tiə in ai joːr dres jul tɪə;

kwiǝr feǝ siː hia mai preɪǝ.

prei kǝnsǝl joːr lʌviŋ poet.

meik mai koʊt luːk nɪʊ dia siʊ it!/

/ʤʌst kǝmpeǝ hǝrt bǝrd ǝn hɜːd

daiz ǝn daɪet, loːd ǝn woːd,

soːd ǝn swɑːd, ritein ǝn britǝn

maind ðə lætə haʊ it iz ritən;

meid həz not ðə saʊnd əv bæd,

sei sed pei leid bʌt not plæd.

naʊ ai ʃʊǝrli wil not pleɪg jʊ

wið sʌtʃ woːdz ǝz veig ən eig,

bʌt bi kǝrfʊl hǝʊ jʊ spiːk,

sei gǝʃ bʊʃ stiːk striːk breɪk bliːk,

previoʊz preʃǝs fʊʃia vǝiǝ,

resipiː paip stǝdnsɜl ʃoir,

wəʊvən ʌvən haʊ ənd ləʊ,

skript risiːps ʃuː poem təʊ.

hiə mi sei divɔid əv trikəri,

dotǝ lǝfǝ ǝn terpsikori

tifɔid miːzəlz tɒpsəl ailz

eksǝilz simil iːz rivǝilz.