POEM: ‘DEAREST CREATURE IN CREATION’:

POEM: ‘DEAREST CREATURE IN CREATION’:

Dearest creature in creation
Studying English pronunciation,
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse
I will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye your dress you'll tear,
So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer,
Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!
Just compare heart, beard and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written).
Made has not the sound of bade,
Say said, pay-paid, laid, but plaid.
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,
But be careful how you speak,
Say break, steak, but bleak and streak.
Previous, precious, fuchsia, via,
Pipe, snipe, recipe and choir,
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery:
Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles.
Exiles, similes, reviles.
Wholly, holly, signal, signing.
Thames, examining, combining
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war, and far.
From "desire": desirable--admirable from "admire."
Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier.
Chatham, brougham, renown, but known.
Knowledge, done, but gone and tone,
One, anemone. Balmoral.
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel,
Gertrude, German, wind, and mind.
Scene, Melpomene, mankind,
Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather,
Reading, reading, heathen, heather.
This phonetic labyrinth
Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.
Billet does not end like ballet;
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet;
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Banquet is not nearly parquet,
Which is said to rime with khaki
Discount, Viscount, load, and broad.
Toward, to forward, to reward.
Right! Your pronunciation's O.K.

TRANSCRIPTION:

/dɪəɾəst kɾiːtʃə in kɾieiʃən
stʌdiːiŋ ɪŋlɪʃ prənʊnsieiʃən
ai wil tiːtʃ juː in mai vɜːs
saʊnz laik kɔːps kɔː hɔːs ənd wɜːs
ai wil kiːp juː suzi bizi
meik jɔː hed wið hiːt ɡɾəʊ diziː
tiə in ai jɔː dres jəl teə
kwiə feə siə hiə mai preə
prei kənsəʊl jɔː lʌviŋ pəʊət
meik mai kəʊt lʊk njuːw diə səʊ(w) it
ʤʌst kəmpeə haːt biəd ənd hɜːd
daiz ənd daiət lɔːd and wɜːd
sɔːd ənd swɔːd ritein ənd britən
maind ðə lætə haʊ it iz ritən
meid həz nɒt ðə saʊnd əv bæd
sei sed pei leid bʌt nɒt plæd
naʊ ai ʃɔːli wil nɒt pleig ju
wið sʌtʃ wɜːdz əz veig ənd eigju
bʌt biː keəfʊl haʊ ju spiːk
sei gʌʃ bʊʃ steik striːk breik bliːk
priːviəs preʃəs fʊkʃiə vaiə
resipiː paip stʊnsei kwaiə
wəʊvən ʌvən haʊ ənd ləʊ
skript risiːts ʃuː pəʊim təʊ
hiə miː sei divɔid əv trikəri
dɔːtə laːftəˑnd tepsikari
taifɔid miːzəlz tɒpsəl ailz
eksailz similiːz rivailz
həʊli hɒli signəl sainiŋ
seim iksæminiŋ bʌt mainiŋ
skɒlə vikə bʌt sigaː
səʊlə maikə wɔː(r) ənd faː
frəm dizaiə dəzairəb(ə)l
ədmaiɾəb(ə)l frəm ədmaiə
lʌɱbə plʌmə biə bʌt briər
tɒpʃəm brau(w)əm rinaʊn bʌt nəʊn
nɒliʤ dʌn ləʊn gɒn nʌn təʊn
wʌn ænemoni bælmɒrəl
kitʃin litʃən lɔːndri lɒrəl
gɜːtruːd ʤɜːmən wind ənd maind
siːn melpɒməni mænkaind
tɔːtəs tɜːkwɔiz ʃæmwʌ leðə
riːdiŋ rediŋ hiːðən heðə
ðis fənetik læbərinθ
givz mɒs grəʊz brʊk brəʊtʃ nainθ plinθ
bilet dʌz nɒt end laik balei
buːkei wɒlit mælit ʃælei
blʌd ənd flʌd aː nɒt laik wʊd
nɔː(r) iz məʊld laik ʃʊd ənd kud
bænkwit iz nɒt nɪɘliː paːkei
witʃ dʌzənt igsækli raim wið kaːki
diskaʊnt viskaʊnt ləʊd ənd brɔːd
təwəːdz tə fɔːwəd tə riwɔːd
rikəʃeid ənd krɒtʃətiŋ krəʊkei
rait jɔː prənʊnsieiʃənz əʊ kei/

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