Translation Class: Qué me dices (February 2009) Diego Baeza Serrano
Amaia Salamanca (22)
No bra, no wonder.
The former blonde from ‘Sin Tetas’ has such a body and such a youth to look as a goddess when wearing any cloth. But, wearing Ralph Lauren’s, and no bra, she’s left her glam at home. She was prettier at the Bond’s premiere in Valencia when she wore a Manuel Mota’s red dress.
Paula Echevarría (31)
You ‘bust’ see her legs!
Why does she hide her anatomy if she just gave birth to Daniela six months ago? Elio Benhayer’s dress did no favours to Busta’s wife… nor to her personal coach. It’s better for her to show up her ass, like she did at a mag’s party.
Pilar Rubio (29)
Why did you do it?
Her dress, made by Vicky Martin Berrocal, didn’t encourage imagination. Huge cleavage, front and back transparencies… what about those fringes! At the TP 2007, she got good marks wearing a BCBG plain design.
Eva González (28)
She’s a miss-tery now.
She measured up as a hostess at the TP awards but she didn’t give her all. The former Miss’ cleavage was blurred under that Hannibal Laguna dress. Nevertheless, last summer even Cayetano Rivera surrendered himself to her charms thanks to that gorgeous design by Dsquared2.
What about a higher size?
We don’t know whether it was a misfortune at the last moment or because of the bump, but the fact is that those shoes didn’t fit her. She was using them when she presented ‘Happy Tears’, a film which wasn’t very acclaimed at the Berlin Festival.
What kind of invention is that?
Carlota Casiraghi’s sister-in-law left her sense of shame at home. That’s how she attended to an awards ceremony: wearing a transparent dress and a hairstyle which seemed to have been designed by Edward Scissorhands. The claw-shaped gloves completed her impossible look.
Kurt Kobain’s widow wouldn’t pass the pen test… Her breasts are so flabby that she could just have bought a wonder bra (or a different dress). And to cap it all, Mickey Rourke’s said to be her new boyfriend. What a couple!
Art’s running through her veins…
That’s why they’re so accentuated... aren’t they? Michelle, in her 50’s, is so thin that she looks 20. But there's no point in overdoing it. Her ankles’d show off better if she was plumper. That’s how we saw her promoting Cheri at the Berlinale.
The Queen of dewlap
50-year-old women tend to get thin to look younger, but many times it may have a boomerang effect. What a double chin! She looks her own grandma. Law of gravity rules no matter how many face-lifts she may get.
Sarah Jessica Parker
Sex in the Tacky.
If the producers of her film met her like that, she wouldn’t shoot the second part of Sex in the City: The Movie. Does she really think it’s cool showing off her hooves? If she wanted to sport the accessories, it’d be better she chose new gloves, I mean no one should go out with those hands...
María Castaño, ‘thrown’ herself into her beauty. Cela’s widow devoted the 7th to look smart –at least, she tried it- She left home early in the morning, straight to the gym, and stayed there ‘till very late. The ‘best’ thing: that sport little number, she had it tighter than a glove, and that ponytail, that skin, that sneer... Please! You can dress as you want at home, but if you’re a celebrity and go outside, sure they recognize you (and they’ll be gobsmacked) or sure they take you a picture like that���
Sharon, watch out, it’s dropping! Nobody denies her attractiveness when she’s about to be 51, but it’s better to cover up those drooping thighs with cellulitis. She showed them off at a party in London after the Bafta awards. It’s obvious she has no complexes ‘cause then she tried to get off with Dev Patel, 18-years-old, the main character of Slumdog Millionaire.
Whitney Houston, too many snacks... If you’re going to go out to show off your lad (her boyfriend, Ray J the rapper, is 16 years younger than her). Don’t boast about a nice figure with those transparencies. Whitney, love, we know that, in your 46’s, you’re returning to everything... but he won’t sing ‘I Will Always Love You’
Hilton, this ‘pair is’ so bad! One of them was about to escape. It was in the way out a club. There are impossible poses with some cleavages.
Hay Slum-go de Freida
Después de ver la extraordinaria nueva película de Danny Boyle Slumdog Millionaire, nos hemos quedado prendidos de su monísima protagonista Freida Pinto. La ex-modelo rebosa glamour a la vieja usanza y precisamente no se ha equivocado llevando un Jimmy Choo en la alfombra roja.
Esta semana nos enamoramos de su asimétrico vestido metalizado –llevado para la entrega de premios del Gremio de Directores de América (Directors Guild of America Awards)- del estrafalario diseñador norteamericano Zac Posen. Pero a casi 3000£ (3200€), su brillante estilo acaba siendo más un poquito heavy metal para nuestro presupuesto.
Freida lleva: Vestido 2.780£ (2971€) , Zac Posen; tacones, 450£ (481€); bolso de mano, 390£ (416€) , Jimmy Choo.
TOTAL: 3.620£ (3.868€)