THE temporal concerns of our family were chiefly committed to my wife's management; as to the spiritual, I took them
entirely under my own direction. The profits of my living, which amounted to but thirtyfive pounds a year, I made over to the
orphans and widows of the clergy of our diocese; for having a fortune of my own, I was careless of temporalities, and felt a
secret pleasure in doing my duty without reward. I also set a resolution of keeping no curate, and of being acquainted with
every man in the parish, exhorting the married men to temperance, and the bachelors to matrimony; so that in a few years it was
a common saying, that there were three strange wants at Wakefield a parson wanting pride, young men wanting wives and
ale-houses wanting customers. Matrimony was always one of my favorite topics, and I wrote several sermons to prove its
happiness; but there was a peculiar tenet which I made a point of supporting: for I maintained with Whiston, that it was unlawful

for a priest of the Church of England, after the death of his first wife, to take a second, or to express it in one word, I valued
myself upon being a strict monogamist.

   I was early initiated into this important dispute, on which so many laborious volumes have been written. I published some
tracts upon the subject myself, which, as they never sold, I have the consolation of thinking were read only by the happy few.
Some of my friends called this my weak side; but alas! they had not, like me, made it the subject of long contemplation. The
more I reflected upon it, the more important it appeared. I even went a step beyond Whiston in displaying my principles; as he
had engraven upon his wife's tomb that she was the only wife of William Whiston, so I wrote a similar epitaph for my wife
though still living, in which I extolled her prudence, economy, and obedience, till death; and having got it copied f air, with an
elegant frame, it was placed over the chimney-piece, where it answered several very useful purposes. It admonished my wife of
her duty to me, and my fidelity to her; it inspired her with a passion for fame, and constantly put her in mind of her end.

   It was thus, perhaps, f rom hearing marriage so of ten recommended, that my eldest son, just upon leaving college, fixed his
affections upon the daughter of a neighboring clergyman, who was a dignitary in the

Church, and in circumstances to give her a large fortune: but fortune was her smallest accomplishment. Miss Arabella Wilmot
was allowed by all except my two daughters, to be completely pretty. Her youth, health, and innocence, were still heightened
by a complexion so transparent, and such a happy sensibility of look, as even age could not gaze on with indifference. As Mr.
Wilmot knew that I could make a very handsome settlement on my son, he was not averse to the match; so both families lived
together in all that harmony which generally precedes an expected alliance. Being convinced by experience that the days of
courtship are the most happy of our lives, I was willing enough to lengthen the period; and the various amusements which the
young couple every day shared in each other's company seemed to increase their passion. We were generally awakened in the
morning by music, and on fine days rode a-hunting. The hours between breakfast and dinner the ladies devoted to dress and
study: they usually read a page, and then gazed at themselves in the glass, which even philosophers might own of ten presented
the page of greatest beauty. At dinner my wife took the lead; for as she always insisted upon carving every thing herself, it being
her mother's way, she gave us upon these occasions the history of every dish. When we had dined, to prevent the ladies leaving
us, I generally ordered the table to be removed; and sometimes, with the music-master's assistance, the

girls would give us a very agreeable concert. Walking out, drinking tea, country dances and forfeits, shortened the rest of the
day, without the assistance of cards, as I hated all manner of gaming, except back-gammon, at which my old friend and I
sometimes took a two-penny hit. Nor can I here pass over an ominous circumstance that happened the last time we played
together: I only wanted to fling a quatre, and yet I threw deuce-ace five times running.

   Some months were elapsed in this manner, till at last it was thought convenient to fix a day for the nuptials of the young
couple, who seemed earnestly to desire it. During the preparations for the wedding, I need not describe the busy importance of
my wife, nor the sly looks of my daughters; in fact, my attention was fixed on another object, the completing a tract which I
intended shortly to publish in defence of my favorite principle. As I looked upon this as a master-piece, both for argument and
style, I could not in the pride of my heart avoid showing it to my old friend Mr. Wilmot, as I made no doubt of receiving his
approbation, but not till too late I discovered that he was most violently attached to the contrary opinion, and with good reason,
for he was at that time actually courting a fourth wife. This, as may be expected, produced a dispute attended with some
acrimony, which threatened to interrupt our intended alliance; but on the day

before that appointed for the ceremony, we agreed to discuss the subject at large.

   It was managed with proper spirit on both sides; he asserted that I was heterodox, I retorted the charge; he replied, and I
rejoined. In the meantime, while the controversy was hottest, I was called out by one of my relations, who, with a face of
concern, advised me to give up the dispute, at least till my son's wedding was over. "How!" cried I, "relinquish the cause of
truth, and let him be a husband, already driven to the very verge of absurdity! You might as well advise me to give up my
fortune, as my argument." "Your fortune," returned my friend, "I am now sorry to inform you, is almost nothing. The merchant in
town, in whose hands your money was lodged, has gone off, to avoid a statute of bankruptcy, and is thought not to have left a
shilling in the pound. I was unwilling to shock you or the family with the account till after the wedding; but now it may serve to
moderate your warmth in the argument, for I suppose your own prudence will enforce the necessity of dissembling, at least till
your son has the young lady's fortune secure." "Well," returned I, "if what you tell me be true and if I am to be a beggar, it shall
never make me a rascal, or induce me to disavow my principles. I'll go this moment and inform the company of my
circumstances: and as for the argument, I even here retract my former concessions in the old gentleman's favor, nor will

I allow him now to be a husband in any sense of the expression."

   It would be endless to describe the different sensations of both families when I divulged the news of our misfortune, but what
others felt was slight to what the lovers appeared to endure. Mr. Wilmot, who seemed before sufficiently inclined to break off
the match, was by this blow soon determined: one virtue he had in perfection, which was prudence, too often the only one that
is left us at seventy-two.