I Now began to find that all my long and painful lectures upon temperance, simplicity, and contentment were entirely
disregarded. The distinctions lately paid us by our betters awakened that pride which I had laid asleep, but not removed. Our
windows again, as formerly, were filled with washes for the neck and face. The sun was dreaded as an enemy to the skin
without doors, and the fire as a spoiler of the complexion within. My wife observed that rising too early would hurt her
daughters' eyes, that working after dinner would redden their noses, and she convinced me that the hands never looked so
white as when they did nothing. Instead, therefore, of finishing George's shirts, we now had them new-modeling their old
gauzes, or flourishing upon catgut. The poor Miss Flamboroughs, their former gay companions, were cast off as mean
acquaintance, and the whole conversation ran upon high life and high-lived company, with pictures, taste, Shakespeare, and the
musical glasses.

   But we could have borne all this, had not a fortunetelling gypsy come to raise us into perfect sublimity. The tawny sibyl no
sooner appeared than my girls came running to me for a shilling apiece, to cross her hand with silver. To say the truth, I was
tired of being always wise, and could not help gratifying their request, because I loved to see them happy. I gave each of them a
shilling, though, for the honor of the family, it must be observed that they never went without money themselves, as my wife
always generously let them have a guinea each to keep in their pockets, but with strict injunctions never to change it. After they
had been closeted up with the fortune-teller for some time, I knew by their looks, upon their returning, that they had been
promised something great. "Well, my girls, how have you sped? Tell me, Livy, has the fortune-teller given thee a
pennyworth?"-"I protest papa," says the girl, "I believe she deals with somebody that is not right, for she positively declared that
I am to be married to a 'squire in less than a twelvemonth!"-"Well, now, Sophy, my child," said I, "and what sort of a husband
are you to have?"Sir," replied she, "I am to have a lord soon after my sister 'has married the 'squire."-"How," cried I, "is that all
you are to have for your two shillings! Only a lord and a 'squire for two shillings! You fools, I could have promised you a prince
and a nabob for half the money!"

   This curiosity of theirs, however, was attended with very serious effects; we now began to think ourselves designed by the
stars to something exalted, and already anticipated our future grandeur.

   It has been a thousand times observed, and I must observe it once more, that the hours we pass with happy prospects in
view are more pleasing than those crowned with fruition. In the first case, we cook the dish to our own appetite; in the latter,
nature cooks it for us. It is impossible to repeat the train of agreeable reveries we called up for our entertainment. We looked
upon our fortunes as once more rising; and as the whole parish asserted that the 'Squire was in love with my daughter, she was
actually so with him, for they persuaded her into the passion. In this agreeable interval my wife had the most lucky dreams in the
world, which she took care to tell us every morning with great solemnity and exactness. It was one night a coffin and
crossbones, the sign of an approaching wedding; at another time she imagined her daughters' pockets filled with farthings, a
certain sign of their being shortly stuffed with gold. The girls themselves had their omens. They felt strange kisses on their lips;
they saw rings in the candle; purses bounced from the fire, and true-love knots lurked in the bottom of every tea-cup.

   Towards the end of the week we received a card from the town ladies, in which, with their compliments, they hoped to see
all our family at church the Sunday

following. All Saturday morning, I could perceive, in consequence of this, my wife and daughters in close conference together,
and now and then glancing at me with looks that betrayed a latent plot. To be sincere, I had strong suspicions that some absurd
proposal was preparing for appearing with splendor the next day. In the evening they began their operations in a very regular
manner, and my wife undertook to conduct the siege. After tea, when I seemed in spirits, she began thus: "I fancy, Charles, my
dear, we shall have a great deal of good company at our church to-morrow."-"Perhaps we may, my dear," returned I; "though
you need be under no uneasiness about that, you shall have a sermon whether there be or not.""That is what I expect," returned
she; "but I think, my dear, we ought to appear there as decently as possible, for who knows what may happen?"-"Your
precautions," replied I, "are highly commendable. A decent behavior and appearance in church is what charms me. We should
be devout and humble, cheerful and serene.""Yes," cried she, "I know that; but I mean we should go there in as proper a
manner as possible; not altogether like the scrubs about us."-"You are quite right, my dear," returned I, "and I was going to
make the very same proposal. The proper manner of going is to go there as early as possible, to have time for meditation
before the service begins."-"Phoo, Charles!" interrupted she; "all that is very true, but

not what I would be at. I mean we should go there genteelly. You know the church is two miles off, and I protest I don't like to
see my daughters trudging up to their pew all blowzed and red with walking, and looking for all the world as if they had been
winners at a smock race. Now, my dear, my proposal is this: there are our two plough horses, the colt that has been in our
family these nine years, and his companion Blackberry, that has scarcely done an earthly thing for this month past. They are
both grown fat and lazy. Why should not they do something as well as we? And let me tell you, when Moses has trimmed them
a little, they will cut a very tolerable figure."

   To this proposal I objected that walking would be twenty times more genteel than such a paltry conveyance, as Blackberry
was wall-eyed and the colt wanted a tail; that they had never been broke to the rein, but had a hundred vicious tricks; and that
we had but one saddle and pillion in the whole house. All these objections, however, were overruled; so that I was obliged to
comply. The next morning I perceived them not a little busy in collecting such materials as might be necessary for the
expedition, but as I found it would be a business of time, I walked on to the church before, and they promised speedily to
follow. I waited near an hour in the reading-desk for their arrival, but not finding them come as I expected, I was obliged to
begin, and went through the service, not without

some uneasiness at finding them absent. This was increased when all was finished, and no appearance of the family. I therefore
walked back by the horse-way, which was five miles round, though the foot-way was but two, and when I got about half-way
home, perceived the procession marching slowly forward towards the church; my son, my wife and the two little ones exalted
upon one horse, and my two daughters upon the other. I demanded the cause of their delay; but I soon found by their looks
they had met with a thousand misfortunes on the road. The horses had at first refused to move from the door, till Mr. Burchell
was kind enough to beat them forward for about two hundred yards with his cudgel. Next, the straps of my wife's pillion broke
down, and they were obliged to stop to repair them before they could proceed. After that, one of the horses took it into his
bead to stand still, and neither blows nor entreaties could prevail with him to proceed. They were just recovering from this
dismal situation when I found them; but perceiving every thing safe, I own their present mortification did not much displease me,
as it would give me many opportunities of future triumph, and teach my daughters more humility.