-Heart of Darkness-
Joseph Conrad
I
The Nellie,
a cruising yawl, swung to her anchor
without a flutter of
the sails, and was at rest. The flood
had made, the wind
was nearly calm, and being bound
down the river, the
only thing for it was to come to
and wait for the turn
of the tide.
The sea-reach
of the Thames stretched before us
like the beginning
of an interminable waterway. In
the offing the sea
and the sky were welded together
without a joint, and
in the luminous space the tanned
sails of the barges
drifting up with the tide seemed to
stand still in red
clusters of canvas sharply peaked,
with gleams of varnished
sprits. A haze rested on the
low shores that ran
out to sea in vanishing flatness.
The air was dark above
Gravesend, and farther back
still seemed condensed
into a mournful gloom, brood-
ing motionless over
the biggest, and the greatest, town
on earth.
The Director
of Companies was our captain and our
host. We four affectionately
watched his back as he
stood in the bows looking
to seaward. On the whole
river there was nothing
that looked half so nautical.
He resembled a pilot,
which to a seaman is trust-
worthiness personified.
It was difficult to realize his
work was not out there
in the luminous estuary, but
behind him, within
the brooding gloom.
Between us there
was, as I have already said some-
where, the bond of
the sea. Besides holding our hearts
together through long
periods of separation, it had
the effect of making
us tolerant of each other's yarns
-- and even convictions.
The Lawyer -- the best of old
fellows -- had, because
of his many years and many
virtues, the only cushion
on deck, and was lying on the
only rug. The Accountant
had brought out already a
box of dominoes, and
was toying architecturally with
the bones. Marlow sat
cross-legged right aft, leaning
against the mizzenmast.
He had sunken cheeks, a
yellow complexion,
a straight back, an ascetic aspect,
and, with his arms
dropped, the palms of hands out-
wards, resembled an
idol. The Director, satisfied the
anchor had good hold,
made his way aft and sat down
amongst us. We exchanged
a few words lazily. After-
wards there was silence
on board the yacht. For some
reason or other we
did not begin that game of domi-
noes. We felt meditative,
and fit for nothing but
placid staring. The
day was ending in a serenity of
still and exquisite
brilliance. The water shone pacifi-
cally; the sky, without
a speck, was a benign immen-
sity of unstained light;
the very mist on the Essex
marsh was like a gauzy
and radiant fabric, hung from
the wooded rises inland,
and draping the low shores
in diaphanous folds.
Only the gloom to the west,
brooding over the upper
reaches, became more sombre
every minute, as if
angered by the approach of the sun.
And at last,
in its curved and imperceptible fall, the
sun sank low, and from
glowing white changed to a
dull red without rays
and without heat, as if about to
go out suddenly, stricken
to death by the touch of
that gloom brooding
over a crowd of men.
Forthwith a
change came over the waters, and the
serenity became less
brilliant but more profound. The
old river in its broad
reach rested unruffled at the
decline of day, after
ages of good service done to the
race that peopled its
banks, spread out in the tranquil
dignity of a waterway
leading to the uttermost ends
of the earth. We looked
at the venerable stream not
in the vivid flush
of a short day that comes and departs
for ever, but in the
august light of abiding memories.
And indeed nothing
is easier for a man who has, as
the phrase goes, "followed
the sea" with reverence
and affection, than
to evoke the great spirit of the past
upon the lower reaches
of the Thames. The tidal cur-
rent runs to and fro
in its unceasing service, crowded
with memories of men
and ships it had borne to the
rest of home or to
the battles of the sea. It had known
and served all the
men of whom the nation is proud,
from Sir Francis Drake
to Sir John Franklin, knights
all, titled and untitled
-- the great knights-errant of
the sea. It had borne
all the ships whose names are
like jewels flashing
in the night of time, from the
Golden Hind returning
with her round flanks full of
treasure, to be visited
by the Queen's Highness and
thus pass out of the
gigantic tale, to the Erebus and
Terror, bound on other
conquests -- and that never
returned. It had known
the ships and the men. They
had sailed from Deptford,
from Greenwich, from
Erith -- the adventurers
and the settlers; kings' ships
and the ships of men
on 'Change; captains, admirals,
the dark "interlopers"
of the Eastern trade, and the
commissioned "generals"
of East India fleets. Hunters
for gold or pursuers
of fame, they all had gone out
on that stream, bearing
the sword, and often the torch,
messengers of the might
within the land, bearers of a
spark from the sacred
fire. What greatness had not
floated on the ebb
of that river into the mystery of
an unknown earth! .
. . The dreams of men, the
seed of commonwealths,
the germs of empires.
The sun set;
the dusk fell on the stream, and lights
began to appear along
the shore. The Chapman light-
house, a three-legged
thing erect on a mud-flat, shone
strongly. Lights of
ships moved in the fairway -- a
great stir of lights
going up and going down. And
farther west on the
upper reaches the place of the
monstrous town was
still marked ominously on the
sky, a brooding gloom
in sunshine, a lurid glare under
the stars.
"And this also,"
said Marlow suddenly, "has been
one of the dark places
of the earth."
He was the only
man of us who still "followed the
sea." The worst that
could be said of him was that he
did not represent his
class. He was a seaman, but he
was a wanderer, too,
while most seamen lead, if one
may so express it,
a sedentary life. Their minds are
of the stay-at-home
order, and their home is always
with them -- the ship;
and so is their country -- the sea.
One ship is very much
like another, and the sea is
always the same. In
the immutability of their sur-
roundings the foreign
shores, the foreign faces, the
changLng immensity
of life, glide past, veiled not by
a sense of mystery
but by a slightly disdainful igno-
rance; for there is
nothing mysterious to a seaman
unless it be the sea
itself, which is the mistress of his
existence and as inscrutable
as Destiny. For the rest,
after his hours of
work, a casual stroll or a casual spree
on shore suffices to
unfold for him the secret of a
whole continent, and
generally he finds the secret not
worth knowing. The
yarns of seamen have a direct
simplicity, the whole
meaning of which lies within the
shell of a cracked
nut. But Marlow was not typical
(if his propensity
to spin yarns be excepted), and to
him the meaning of
an episode was not inside like a
kernel but outside,
enveloping the tale which brought
it out only as a glow
brings out a haze, in the likeness
of one of these misty
halos that sometimes are made
visible by the spectral
illuminination of moonshine.
His remark did
not seem at all surprising. It was
just like Marlow. It
was accepted in silence. No one
took the trouble to
grunt even; and presently he said,
very slow --
"I was thinking
of very old times, when the
Romans first came here,
nineteen hundred years ago --
the other day.... Light
came out of this river
since -- you say Knights?
Yes; but it is like a running
blaze on a plain, like
a flash of lightning in the clouds.
We live in the flicker
-- may it last as long as the old
earth keeps rolling!
But darkness was here yesterday.
Imagine the feelings
of a commander of a fine -- what
d'ye call 'em? -- trireme
in the Mediterranean, or-
dered suddenly to the
north run overland across the
Gauls in a hurry; put
in charge of one of these craft
the legionaries --
a wonderful lot of handy men they
must have been, too
-- used to build, apparently by the
hundred, in a month
or two, if we may believe what
we read. Imagine him
here -- the very end of the
world, a sea the colour
of lead, a sky the colour of
smoke, a kind of ship
about as rigid as a concertina --
and going up this river
with stores, or orders, or what
you like. Sand-banks,
marshes, forests, savages, --
precious little to
eat fit for a civilized man, nothing but
Thames water to drink.
No Falernian wine here, no
going ashore. Here
and there a military camp lost in
a wilderness, like
a needle in a bundle of hay -- cold,
fog, tempests, disease,
exile, and death -- death skulk-
ing in the air, in
the water, in the bush. They must
have been dying like
flies here. Oh, yes -- he did it.
Did it very well, too,
no doubt, and without thinking
much about it either,
except afterwards to brag of
what he had gone through
in his time, perhaps. They
were men enough to
face the darkness. And perhaps
he was cheered by keeping
his eye on a chance of pro-
motion to the fleet
at Ravenna by and by, if he had
good friends in Rome
and survived the awful climate.
Or think of a decent
young citizen in a toga -- perhaps
too much dice, you
know -- coming out here in the
train of some prefect,
or tax-gatherer, or trader even,
to mend his fortunes.
Land in a swamp, march
through the woods,
and in some inland post feel the
savagery, the utter
savagery, had closed round him --
all that mysterious
life of the wilderness that stirs in
the forest, in the
jungles, in the hearts of wild men.
There's no initiation
either into such mysteries. He
has to live in the
midst of the incomprehensible,
which is also detestable.
And it has a fascination, too,
that goes to work upon
him. The fascination of the
abomination -- you
know, imagine the growing regrets,
the longing to escape,
the powerless disgust, the sur-
render, the hate."
He paused.
"Mind," he began
again, lifting one arm from the
elbow, the palm of
the hand outwards, so that, with
his legs folded before
him, he had the pose of a
Buddha preaching in
European clothes and without a
lotus-flower -- "Mind,
none of us would feel exactly
like this. What saves
us is efficiency -- the devotion to
efficiency. But these
chaps were not much account,
really. They were no
colonists; their administration
was merely a squeeze,
and nothing more, I suspect.
They were conquerors,
and for that you want only
brute force -- nothing
to boast of, when you have it,
since your strength
is just an accident arising from the
weakness of others.
They grabbed what they could get
for the sake of what
was to be got. It was just robbery
with violence, aggravated
murder on a great scale,
and men going at it
blind -- as is very proper for those
who tackle a darkness.
The conquest of the earth,
which mostly means
the taking it away from those
who have a different
complexion or slightly flatter
noses than ourselves,
is not a pretty thing when you
look into it too much.
What redeems it is the idea
only. An idea at the
back of it; not a sentimental pre-
tence but an idea;
and an unselfish belief in the idea --
something you can set
up, and bow down before, and
offer a sacrifice to..."
He broke off.
Flames glided in the river, small
green flames, red flames,
white flames, pursuing, over-
taking, joining, crossing
each other -- then separating
slowly or hastily.
The traffic of the great city went on
in the deepening night
upon the sleepless river. We
looked on, waiting
patiently -- there was nothing else
to do till the end
of the flood; but it was only after a
long silence, when
he said, in a hesitating voice, "I
suppose you fellows
remember I did once turn fresh
water sailor for a
bit," that we knew we were fated,
before the ebb began
to run, to hear about one of
Marlow's inconclusive
experiences.
"I don't want
to bother you much with what hap-
pened to me personally,"
he began, showing in this
remark the weakness
of many tellers of tales who
seem so often unaware
of what their audience would
best like to hear;
"yet to understand the effect of it on
me you ought to know
how I got out there, what I
saw, how I went up
that river to the place where I
first met the poor
chap. It was the farthest point of
navigation and the
culminating point of my experi-
ence. It seemed somehow
to throw a kind of light on
everything about me
-- and into my thoughts. It was
sombre enough, too
-- and pitiful -- not extraordinary
in any way -- not very
clear either. No, not very clear.
And yet it seemed to
throw a kind of light.
"I had then,
as you remember, just returned to
London after a lot
of Indian Ocean, Pacific, China
Seas a regular dose
of the East -- six years or so, and
I was loafing about,
hindering you fellows in your
work and invading your
homes, just as though I had
got a heavenly mission
to civilize you. It was very fine
for a time, but after
a bit I did get tired of resting.
Then I began to look
for a ship -- I should think the
hardest work on earth.
But the ships wouldn't even
look at me. And I got
tired of that game, too.
"Now when I
was a little chap I had a passion for
maps. I would look
for hours at South America, or
Africa, or Australia,
and lose myself in all the glories
of exploration. At
that time there were many blank
spaces on the earth,
and when I saw one that looked
particularly inviting
on a map (but they all look that)
I would put my finger
on it and say, 'When I grow
up I will go there.'
The North Pole was one of these
places, I remember.
Well, I haven't been there yet,
and shall not try now.
The glamour's off. Other places
were scattered about
the Equator, and in every sort of
latitude all over the
two hemispheres. I have been in
some of them, and .
. . well, we won't talk about
that. But there was
one yet -- the biggest, the most
blank, so to speak
-- that I had a hankering after.
"True, by this
time it was not a blank space any
more. It had got filled
since my boyhood with rivers
and lakes and names.
It had ceased to be a blank space
of delightful mystery
-- a white patch for a boy to
dream gloriously over.
It had become a place of dark-
ness. But there was
in it one river especially, a mighty
big river, that you
could see on the map, resembling
an immense snake uncoiled,
with its head in the sea, its
body at rest curving
afar over a vast country, and its
tail lost in the depths
of the land. And as I looked at
the map of it in a
shop-window, it fascinated me as a
snake would a bird
-- a silly little bird. Then I remem-
bered there was a big
concern, a Company for trade
on that river. Dash
it all! I thought to myself, they
can't trade without
using some kind of craft on that lot
of fresh water -- steamboats!
Why shouldn't I try to
get charge of one?
I went on along Fleet Street, but
could not shake off
the idea. The snake had charmed
me.
"You understand
it was a Continental concern, that
Trading society; but
I have a lot of relations living on
the Continent, because
it's cheap and not so nasty as it
looks, they say.
"I am sorry
to own I began to worry them. This
was already a fresh
departure for me. I was not used
to get things that
way, you know. I always went my
own road and on my
own legs where I had a mind to
go. I wouldn't have
believed it of myself; but, then --
you see -- I felt somehow
I must get there by hook or
by crook. So I worried
them. The men said 'My dear
fellow,' and did nothing.
Then -- would you believe
it? -- I tried the
women. I, Charlie Marlow, set the
women to work -- to
get a job. Heavens! We]l, you
see, the notion drove
me. I had an aunt, a dear enthu-
siastic soul. She wrote:
'It will be delightful. I am
ready to do anything,
anything for you. It is a glorious
idea. I know the wife
of a very high personage in the
Administration, and
also a man who has lots of influ-
ence with,' etc., etc.
She was determined to make no
end of fuss to get
me appointed skipper of a river
steamboat, if such
was my fancy.
"I got my appointment
-- of course; and I got it
very quick. It appears
the Company had received news
that one of their captains
had been killed in a scuffle
with the natives. This
was my chance, and it made me
the more anxious to
go. It was only months and
months afterwards,
when I made the attempt to re-
cover what was left
of the body, that I heard the
original quarrel arose
from a misunderstanding about
some hens. Yes, two
black hens. Fresleven -- that was
the fellow's name,
a Dane -- thought himself wronged
somehow in the bargain,
so he went ashore and started
to hammer the chief
of the village with a stick. Oh,
it didn't surprise
me in the least to hear this, and at the
same time to be told
that Fresleven was the gentlest,
quietest creature that
ever walked on two legs. No
doubt he was; but he
had been a couple of years al-
ready out there engaged
in the noble cause, you know,
and he probably felt
the need at last of asserting his
self-respect in some
way. Therefore he whacked the
old nigger mercilessly,
while a big crowd of his people
watched him, thunderstruck,
till some man -- I was
told the chief's son
-- in desperation at hearing the old
chap yell, made a tentative
jab with a spear at the
white man -- and of
course it went quite easy between
the shoulder-blades.
Then the whole population
cleared into the forest,
expecting all kinds of calamities
to happen, while, on
the other hand, the steamer Fres-
leven commanded left
also in a bad panic, in charge of
the engineer, I believe.
Afterwards nobody seemed to
trouble much about
Fresleven's remains, till I got out
and stepped into his
shoes. I couldn't let it rest,
though; but when an
opportunity offered at last to
meet my predecessor,
the grass growing through his
ribs was tall enough
to hide his bones. They were all
there. The supernatural
being had not been touched
after he fell. And
the village was deserted, the huts
gaped black, rotting,
all askew within the fallen en-
dosures. A calamity
had come to it, sure enough. The
people had vanished.
Mad terror had scattered them,
men, women, and children,
through the bush, and
they had never returned.
What became of the hens I
don't know either.
I should think the cause of progress
got them, anyhow. However,
through this glorious
affair I got my appointment,
before I had fairly begun
to hope for it.
"I flew around
like mad to get ready, and before
forty-eight hours I
was crossing the Channel to snow
myself to my employers,
and sign the contract. In a
very few hours I arrived
in a city that always makes
me think of a whited
sepulchre. Prejudice no doubt. I
had no difficulty in
finding the Company's offices. It
was the biggest thing
in the town, and everybody I
met was full of it.
They were going to run an over sea
empire, and make no
end of coin by trade.
"A narrow and
deserted street in deep shadow, high
houses, innumerable
windows with venetian blinds, a
dead silence, grass
sprouting between the stones, im-
posing carriage archways
right and left, immense
double doors standing
ponderously ajar. I slipped
through one of these
cracks, went up a swept and un-
garnished staircase,
as arid as a desert, and opened the
first door I came to.
Two women, one fat and the
other slim, sat on
straw-bottomed chairs, knitting black
wool. The slim one
got up and walked straight at me
-- still knitting with
downcast eyes -- and only just as
I began to think of
getting out of her way, as you
would for a somnambulist,
stood still, and looked up.
Her dress was as plain
as an umbrella-cover, and she
turned round without
a word and preceded me into a
waiting-room. I gave
my name, and looked about.
Deal table in the middle,
plain chairs all round the
walls, on one end a
large shining map, marked with
all the colours of
a rainbow. There was a vast amount
of red -- good to see
at any time, because one knows
that some real work
is done in there, a deuce of a lot
of blue, a little green,
smears of orange, and, on
the East Coast, a purple
patch, to show where the
jolly pioneers of progress
drink the jolly lager-beer.
However, I wasn't going
into any of these. I was
going into the yellow.
Dead in the centre. And the
river was there --
fascinating -- deadly -- like a snake.
Ough! A door opened,
a white-haired secretarial head,
but wearing a compassionate
expression, appeared, and
a skinny forefinger
beckoned me into the sanctuary. Its
light was dim, and
a heavy writing-desk squatted in
the middle. From behind
that structure came out an
impression of pale
plumpness in a frock-coat. The
great man himself.
He was five feet six, I should
judge, and had his
grip on the handle-end of ever so
many millions. He shook
hands, I fancy, murmured
vaguely, Was satisfied
with my French. Bon voyage.
"In about forty-five
seconds I found myself again in
the waiting-room with
the compassionate secretary,
who, full of desolation
and sympathy, made me sign
some document. I believe
I undertook amongst other
things not to disclose
any trade secrets. Well, I am
not going to.
"I began to
feel slightly uneasy. You know I am
not used to such ceremonies,
and there was something
ominous in the atmosphere.
It was just as though I
had been let into some
conspiracy -- I don't know --
something not quite
right; and I was glad to get out.
In the outer room the
two women knitted black wool
feverishly. People
were arriving, and the younger one
was walking back and
forth introducing them. The
old one sat on her
chair. Her flat cloth slippers were
propped up on a foot-warmer,
and a cat reposed on her
lap. She wore a starched
white affair on her head, had
a wart on one cheek,
and silver-rimmed spectacles hung
on the tip of her nose.
She glanced at me above the
glasses. The swift
and indifferent placidity of that
look troubled me. Two
youths with foolish and cheery
countenances were being
piloted over, and she threw at
them the same quick
glance of unconcerned wisdom.
She seemed to know
all about them and about me, too.
An eerie feeling came
over me. She seemed uncanny
and fateful. Often
far away there I thought of these
two, guarding the door
of Darkness, knitting black
wool as for a warm
pall, one introducing, introducing
continuously to the
unknown, the other scrutinizing
the cheery and foolish
faces with unconcerned old
eyes. Ave! Old knittter
of black wool. Morituri te
salutant. Not many
of those she looked at ever saw
her again -- not half,
by a long way.
"There was yet
a visit to the doctor. 'A simple for-
mality,' assured me
the secretary, with an air of taking
an immense part in
all my sorrows. Accordingly a
young chap wearing
his hat over the left eyebrow,
some clerk I suppose
-- there must have been clerks
in the business, though
the house was as still as a
house in a city of
the dead -- came from somewhere
up-stairs, and led
me forth. He was shabby and care-
less, with inkstains
on the sleeves of his jacket, and
his cravat was large
and billowy, under a chin shaped
like the toe of an
old boot. It was a little too early for
the doctor, so I proposed
a drink, and thereupon he
developed a vein of
joviality. As we sat over our ver-
mouths he glorified
the Company's business, and by
and by I expressed
casually my surprise at him not
going out there. He
became very cool and collected
all at once. 'I am
not such a fool as I look, quoth
Plato to his disciples,'
he said sententiously, emptied
his glass with great
resolution, and we rose.
"The old doctor
felt my pulse, evidently thinking
of something else the
while. 'Good, good for there,' he
mumbled, and then with
a certain eagerness asked me
whether I would let
him measure my head. Rather
surprised, I said Yes,
when he produced a thing like
calipers and got the
dimensions back and front and
every way, taking notes
carefully. He was an un-
shaven little man in
a threadbare coat like a gaberdine,
with his feet in slippers,
and I thought him a harmless
fool. 'I always ask
leave, in the interests of science, to
measure the crania
of those going out there,' he said.
'And when they come
back, too?' I asked. 'Oh, I never
see them,' he remarked;
'and, moreover, the changes
take place inside,
you know.' He smiled, as if at some
quiet joke. 'So you
are going out there. Famous.
Interesting, too.'
He gave me a searching glance, and
made another note.
'Ever any madness in your fam-
ily?' he asked, in
a matter-of-fact tone. I felt very
annoyed. 'Is that question
in the interests of science,
too?' 'It would be,'
he said, without taking notice of
my irritation, 'interesting
for science to watch the
mental changes of individuals,
on the spot, but . . .'
'Are you an alienist?'
I interrupted. 'Every doctor
should be -- a little,'
answered that original, imperturb-
ably. 'I have a little
theory which you messieurs who
go out there must help
me to prove. This is my share
in the advantages my
country shall reap from the
possession of such
a magnificent dependency. The
mere wealth I leave
to others. Pardon my questions,
but you are the first
Englishman coming under my
observation . . .'
I hastened to assure him I was not
in the least typical.
'If I were,' said I, 'I wouldn't be
talking like this with
you.' 'What you say is rather
profound, and probably
erroneous,' he said, with a
laugh. 'Avoid irritation
more than exposure to the
sun. Adieu. How do
you English say, eh? Good-bye.
Ah! Good-bye. Adieu.
In the tropics one must before
everytlung keep calm.'
. . . He lifted a warning
forefinger. . . 'Du
calme, du calme, Adieu.'
"One thing more
remained to do -- say good-bye to
my excellent aunt.
I found her triumphant. I had a
cup of tea -- the last
decent cup of tea for many days --
and in a room that
most soothingly looked just as you
would expect a lady's
drawing-room to look, we had a
long quiet chat by
the fireside. In the course of these
confidences it became
quite plain to me I had been
represented to the
wife of the high dignitary, and
goodness knows to how
many more people besides, as
an exceptional and
gifted creature -- a piece of good
fortune for the Company
-- a man you don't get hold
of every day. Good
heavens! and I was going to take
charge of a two-penny-half-penny
river-steamboat with
a penny whistle attached!
It appeared, however, I
was also one of the
Workers, with a capital -- you
know. Something like
an emissary of light, something
like a lower sort of
apostle. There had been a lot of
such rot let loose
in print and talk just about that time,
and the excellent woman,
living right in the rush of
all that humbug, got
carried off her feet. She talked
about 'weaning those
ignorant millions from their
horrid ways,' till,
upon my word, she made me quite
uncomfortable. I ventured
to hint that the Company
was run for profit.
" 'You forget,
dear Charlie, that the labourer is
worthy of his hire,'
she said, brightly. It's queer how
out of touch with truth
women are. They live in a
world of their own,
and there has never been anything
like it, and never
can be. It is too beautiful altogether,
and if they were to
set it up it would go to pieces
before the first sunset.
Some confounded fact we men
have been living contentedly
with ever since the day
of creation would start
up and knock the whole thing
over.
"After this
I got embraced, told to wear flannel, be
sure to write often,
and so on -- and I left. In the
street -- I don't know
why -- a queer feeling came to me
that I was an impostor.
Odd thing that I, who used to
clear out for any part
of the world at twenty-four
hours' notice, with
less thought than most men give to
the crossing of a street,
had a moment -- I won't say
of hesitation, but
of startled pause, before this com-
monplace affair. The
best way I can explain it to you
is by saying that,
for a second or two, I felt as though,
instead of going to
the centre of a continent, I were
about to set off for
the centre of the earth.
"I left in a
French steamer, and she called in every
blamed port they have
out there, for, as far as I
could see, the sole
purpose of landing soldiers and
custom-house officers.
I watched the coast. Watching a
coast as it slips by
the ship is like thinking about an
enigma. There it is
before you -- smiling, frowning,
inviting, grand, mean,
insipid, or savage, and always
mute with an air of
whispering, 'Come and find out.'
This one was almost
featureless, as if still in the mak-
ing, with an aspect
of monotonous grimness. The edge
of a colossal jungle,
so dark-green as to be almost
black, fringed with
white surf, ran straight, like a
ruled line, far, far
away along a blue sea whose glitter
was blurred by a creeping
mist. The sun was fierce,
the land seemed to
glisten and drip with steam. Here
and there greyish-whitish
specks showed up clustered
inside the white surf,
with a flag fiying above them
perhaps. Settlements
some centuries old, and still no
bigger than pinheads
on the untouched expanse of
their background. We
pounded along, stopped, landed
soldiers; went on,
landed custom-house clerks to
levy toll in what looked
like a God-forsaken wilder-
ness, with a tin shed
and a flag-pole lost in it; landed
more soldiers to take
care of the custom-house clerks,
presumably. Some, I
heard, got drowned in the surf;
but whether they did
or not, nobody seemed particu-
larly to care. They
were just flung out there, and on
we went. Every day
the coast looked the same, as
though we had not moved;
but we passed various
places -- trading places
with names like Gran' Bas-
sam, Little Popo; names
that seemed to belong to
some sordid farce acted
in front of a sinister back-cloth.
The idleness of a passenger,
my isolation amongst all
these men with whom
I had no point of contact, the
oily and languid sea,
the uniform sombreness of the
coast, seemed to keep
me away from the truth of things,
within the toil of
a mournful and senseless delusion.
The voice of the surf
heard now and then was a posi-
tive pleasure, like
the speech of a brother. It was some-
thing natural, that
had its reason, that had a meaning
Now and then a boat
from the shore gave one a mo-
mentary contact with
reality. It was paddled by
black fellows. You
could see from afar the white of
their eyeballs glistening.
They shouted, sang; their
bodies streamed with
perspiration; they had faces
like grotesque masks
-- these chaps; but they had bone,
muscle, a wild vitality,
an intense energy of move-
ment, that was as natural
and true as the surf along
their coast. They wanted
no excuse for being there.
They were a great comfort
to look at. For a time I
would feel I belonged
still to a world of straightfor-
ward facts; but the
feeling would not last long. Some-
thing would turn up
to scare it away. Once, I remem-
ber, we came upon a
man-of-war anchored off the
coast. There wasn't
even a shed there, and she was
shelling the bush.
It appears the French had one of
their wars going on
thereabouts. Her ensign dropped
limp like a rag; the
muzzles of the long six-inch guns
stuck out all over
the low hull; the greasy, slimy swell
swung her up lazily
and let her down, swaying her
thin masts. In the
empty immensity of earth, sky, and
water, there she was,
incomprehensible, firing into a
continent. Pop, would
go one of the six-inch guns; a
small flame would dart
and vanish, a little white smoke
would disappear, a
tiny projectile would give a feeble
screech -- and nothing
happened. Nothing could hap-
pen. There was a touch
of insanity in the proceeding,
a sense of lugubrious
drollery in the sight; and it was
not dissipated by somebody
on board assuring me
earnestly there was
a camp of natives -- he called them
enemies! -- hidden
out of sight somewhere.
"We gave her
her ktters (I heard the men in that
lonely ship were dying
of fever at the rate of three
a day) and went on.
We called at some more places
with farcical names,
where the merry dance of death
and trade goes on in
a still and earthy atmosphere as
of an overheated catacomb;
all along the formless
coast bordered by dangerous
surf, as if Nature herself
had tried to ward off
intruders; in and out of rivers,
streams of death in
life, whose banks were rotting into
mud, whose waters,
thickened into slime, invaded the
contorted mangroves,
that seemed to writhe at us
in the extremity of
an impotent despair. Nowhere
did we stop long enough
to get a particularized im-
pression, but the general
sense of vague and oppres-
sive wonder grew upon
me. It was ]ike a weary
pilgrimage amongst
hints for nightmares
"It was upward
of thirty days before I saw the
mouth of the big river.
We anchored off the seat of
the government. But
my work would not begin till
some two hundred miles
farther on. So as soon as I
could I made a start
for a place thirty miles higher up.
"I had my passage
on a little sea-going steamer.
Her captain was a Swede,
and knowing me for a
seaman, invited me
on the bridge. He was a young
man, lean, fair, and
morose, with lanky hair and a
shuffling gait. As
we left the miserable little wharf,
he tossed his head
contemptuously at the shore. 'Been
living there?' he asked.
I said, 'Yes.' 'Fine lot these
government chaps --
are they not?' he went on, speak-
ing English with great
precision and considerable bit-
terness. 'It is funny
what some people will do for a
few francs a month.
I wonder what becomes of that
kind when it goes upcountry?'
I said to him I expected
to see that soon. 'So-o-o!'
he exclaimed. He shuffled
athwart, keeping one
eye ahead vigilantly. 'Don't be
too sure,' he continued.
'The other day I took up a
man who hanged himself
on the road. He was a
Swede, too.' 'Hanged
himself! Why, in God's name?'
I cried. He kept on
looking out watchfully. 'Who
knows? The sun too
much for him, or the country
perhaps.'
"At last we
opened a reach. A rocky cliff appeared,
mounds of turned-up
earth by the shore, houses on a
hill, others with iron
roofs, amongst a waste of exca-
vations, or hanging
to the declivity. A continuous noise
of the rapids above
hovered over this scene of in-
habited devastation.
A lot of people, mostly black
and naked, moved about
like ants. A jetty projected
into the river. A blinding
sunlight drowned all this
at times in a sudden
recrudescence of glare. 'There's
your Company's station,'
said the Swede, pointing to
three wooden barrack-like
structures on the rocky
slope. 'I will send
your things up. Four boxes did you
say? So. Farewell.'
"I came upon
a boiler wallowing in the grass, then
found a path leading
up the hill. It turned aside for
the boulders, and also
for an undersized railway-truck
lying there on its
back with its wheels in the air. One
was off. The thing
looked as dead as the carcass of
some animal. I came
upon more pieces of decaying
machinery, a stack
of rusty rails. To the left a clump
of trees made a shady
spot, where dark things seemed
to stir feebly. I blinked,
the path was steep. A horn
tooted to the right,
and I saw the black people run. A
heavy and dull detonation
shook the ground, a puff
of smoke came out of
the cliff, and that was all. No
change appeared on
the face of the rock. They were
building a railway.
The cliff was not in the way or
anything; but this
objectless blasting was all the work
going on.
"A slight clinking
behind me made me turn my
head. Six black men
advanced in a file, toiling up the
path. They walked erect
and slow, balancing small
baskets full of earth
on their heads, and the clink
kept time with their
footsteps. Black rags were wound
round their loins,
and the short ends behind waggled
to and fro like tails.
I could see every rib, the joints of
their limbs were like
knots in a rope; each had an
iron collar on his
neck, and all were connected together
with a chain whose
bights swung between them,
rhythmically clinking.
Another report from the cliff
made me think suddenly
of that ship of war I had
seen firing into a
continent. It was the same kind of
ominous voice; but
these men could by no stretch of
imagination be called
enemies. They were called
criminals, and the
outraged law, like the bursting
shells, had come to
them, an insoluble mystery from
the sea. All their
meagre breasts panted together, the
violently dilated nostrils
quivered, the eyes stared
stonily uphill. They
passed me within six inches, with-
out a glance, with
that complete, deathlike indifference
of unhappy savages.
Behind this raw matter one of the
reclaimed, the product
of the new forces at work,
strolled despondently,
carrying a rifle by its middle.
He had a uniform jacket
with one button off, and
seeing a white man
on the path, hoisted his weapon to
his shoulder with alacrity.
This was simple prudence,
white men being so
much alike at a distance that he
could not tell who
I might be. He was speedily re-
assured, and with a
large, white, rascally grin, and a
glance at his charge,
seemed to take me into partner-
ship in his exalted
trust. After all, I also was a part of
the great cause of
these high and just proceedings.
"Instead of
going up, I turned and descended to the
left. My idea was to
let that chain-gang get out of
sight before I climbed
the hilL You know I am not
particularly tender;
I've had to strike and to fend off.
I've had to resist
and to attack sometimes -- that's only
one way of resisting
-- without counting the exact cost,
according to the demands
of such sort of life as I had
blundered into. I've
seen the devil of violence, and
the devil of greed,
and the devil of hot desire; but,
by all the stars! these
were strong, lusty, red-eyed
devils, that swayed
and drove men -- men, I tell you.
But as I stood on this
hillside, I foresaw that in the
blinding sunshine of
that land I would become ac-
quainted with a flabby,
pretending, weak-eyed devil
of a rapacious and
pitiless folly. How insidious he
could be, too, I was
only to find out several months
later and a thousand
miles farther. For a moment I
stood appalled, as
though by a warning. Finally I
descended the hill,
obliquely, towards the trees I had
seen.
"I avoided a
vast artificial hole somebody had been
digging on the slope,
the purpose of which I found it
impossible to divine.
It wasn't a quarry or a sandpit,
anyhow. It was just
a hole. It might have been con-
nected with the philanthropic
desire of giving the
criminals something
to do. I don't know. Then I
nearly fell into a
very narrow ravine, almost no more
than a scar in the
hillside. I discovered that a lot of
imported drainage-pipes
for the settlement had been
tumbled in there. There
wasn't one that was not
broken. It was a wanton
smash-up. At last I got under
the trees. My purpose
was to stroll into the shade for
a moment; but no sooner
within than it seemed to me
I had stepped into
the gloomy circle of some Inferno.
The rapids were near,
and an uninterrupted, uniform,
headlong, rushing noise
filled the mournful stillness
of the grove, where
not a breath stirred, not a leaf
moved, with a mysterious
sound -- as though the tear-
ing pace of the launched
earth had suddenly become
audible.
"Black shapes
crouched, lay, sat between the trees
leaning against the
trunks, clinging to the earth, half
coming out, half effased
within the dim light, in all
the attitudes of pain,
abandonment, and despair. An-
other mine on the cliff
went off, followed by a slight
shudder of the soil
under my feet. The work was
going on. The work!
And this was the place where
some of the helpers
had withdrawn to die.
"They were dying
slowly -- it was very clear. They
were not enemies, they
were not criminals, they were
nothing earthly now
-- nothing but black shadows of
disease and starvation,
lying confusedly in the green-
ish gloom. Brought
from all the recesses of the coast
in all the legality
of time contracts, lost in uncon-
genial surroundings,
fed on unfamiliar food, they
sickened, became inefficient,
and were then allowed
to crawl away and rest.
These moribund shapes were
free as air -- and
nearly as thin. I began to distinguish
the gleam of the eyes
under the trees. Then, glancing
down, I saw a face
near my hand. The black bones
reclined at full length
with one shoulder against the
tree, and slowly the
eyelids rose and the sunken eyes
looked up at me, enormous
and vacant, a kind of
blind, white flicker
in the depths of the orbs, which
died out slowly. The
man seemed young -- almost a
boy -- but you know
with them it's hard to tell. I
found nothing else
to do but to offer him one of my
good Swede's ship's
biscuits I had in my pocket. The
fingers closed slowly
on it and held -- there was no
other movement and
no other glance. He had tied a
bit of white worsted
round his neck -- Why? Where
did he get it? Was
it a badge -- an ornament -- charm
-- a propitiatory act?
Was there any idea at all con-
nected with it? It
looked startling round his black
neck, this bit of white
thread from beyond the seas.
"Near the same
tree two more bundles of acute
angles sat with their
legs drawn up. One, with his
chin propped on his
knees, stared at nothing, in an
intolerable and appalling
manner: his brother phan-
tom rested its forehead,
as if overcome with a great
weariness; and all
about others were scattered in
every pose of contorted
collapse, as in some picture of
a massacre or a pestilence.
While I stood horror-
struck, one of these
creatures rose to his hands and
knees, and went off
on all-fours towards the river to
drink. He lapped out
of his hand, then sat up in the
sunlight, crossing
his shins in front of him, and after
a time let his woolly
head fall on his breastbone.
"I didn't want
any more loitering in the shade, and
I made haste towards
the station. When near the
buildings I met a white
man, in such an unexpected
elegance of getup that
in the first moment I took him
for a sort of vision.
I saw a high starched collar,
white cuffs, a light
alpaca jacket, snowy trousers, a
clean necktie, and
varnished boots. No hat. Hair
parted, brushed, oiled,
under a green-lined parasol
held in a big white
hand. He was amazing, and had a
penholder behind his
ear.
"I shook hands
with this miracle, and I learned he
was the Company's chief
accountant, and that all the
bookkeeping was done
at this station. He had come
out for a moment, he
said, 'to get a breath of fresh
air.' The expression
sounded wonderfully odd, with
its suggestion of sedentary
desk-life. I wouldn't have
mentioned the fellow
to you at all, only it was from
his lips that I first
heard the name of the man who is
so indissolubly connected
with the memories of that
time. Moreover, I respected
the fe]low. Yes; I re-
spected his collars,
his vast cuffs, his brushed hair. His
appearance was certainly
that of a hairdresser's
dummy; but in the great
demoralization of the land
he kept up his appearance.
That's backbone. His
starched collars and
got-up shirt-fronts were achieve-
ments of character.
He had been out nearly three
years; and later, I
could not help asking him how he
managed to sport such
linen. He had just the faintest
blush, and said modestly,
'I've been teaching one of
the native women about
the station. It was difficult.
She had a distaste
for the work.' Thus this man had
verily accomplished
something. And he was devoted
to his books, which
were in apple-pie order.
"Everything
else in the station was in a muddle --
heads, things, buildings.
Strings of dusty niggers with
splay feet arrived
and departed; a stream of manu-
factured goods, rubbishy
cottons, beads, and brass-
wire set into the depths
of darkness, and in return
came a precious trickle
of ivory.
"I had to wait
in the station for ten days -- an
eternity. I lived in
a hut in the yard, but to be out of
the chaos I would sometimes
get into the accountant's
office. It was built
of horizontal planks, and so badly
put together that,
as he bent over his high desk, he
was barred from neck
to heels with narrow strips of
sunlight. There was
no need to open the big shutter to
see. It was hot there,
too; big flies buzzed fiendishly,
and did not sting,
but stabbed. I sat generally on the
floor, while, of faultless
appearance (and even slightly
scented), perching
on a high stool, he wrote, he wrote.
Sometimes he stood
up for exercise. When a truckle-
bed with a sick man
(some invalid agent from up-
country) was put in
there, he exhibited a gentle an-
noyance. 'The groans
of this sick person,' he said,
'distract my attention.
And without that it is ex-
tremely difficult to
guard against clerical errors in
this climate.'
"One day he
remarked, without lifting his head,
'In the interior you
will no doubt meet Mr. Kurtz.'
On my asking who Mr.
Kurtz was, he said he was a
first-class agent;
and seeing my disappointment at
this information, he
added slowly, laying down his
pen, 'He is a very
remarkable person.' Further ques-
tions elicited from
him that Mr. Kurtz was at present
in charge of a trading-post,
a very important one, in
the true ivory-country,
at 'the very bottom of there.
Sends in as much ivory
as all the others put together
. . .' He began to
write again. The sick man was too
ill to groan. The flies
buzzed in a great peace.
"Suddenly there
was a growing murmur of voices
and a great tramping
of feet. A caravan had come in.
A violent babble of
uncouth sounds burst out on the
other side of the planks.
All the carriers were speaking
together, and in the
midst of the uproar the lament-
able voice of the chief
agent was heard 'giving it up'
tearfully for the twentieth
time that day.... He
rose slowly. 'What
a frightful row,' he said. He
crossed the room gently
to look at the sick man, and
returning, said to
me, 'He does not hear.' 'What!
Dead?' I asked, startled.
'No, not yet,' he answered,
with great composure.
Then, alluding with a toss of
the head to the tumult
in the station-yard, 'When one
has got to make correct
entries, one comes to hate
those savages -- hate
them to the death.' He remained
thoughtful for a moment.
'When you see Mr. Kurtz'
he went on, 'tell him
from me that everything here' --
he glanced at the deck
-- 'is very satisfactory. I don't
like to write to him
-- with those messengers of ours
you never know who
may get hold of your letter -- at
that Central Station.'
He stared at me for a moment
with his mild, bulging
eyes. 'Oho, he will go far, very
far,' he began again.
'He will be a somebody in the
Administration before
long. They, above -- the Coun-
cil in Europe, you
know -- mean him to be.'
"He turned to
his work. The noise outside had
ceased, and presently
in going out I stopped at the
door. In the steady
buzz of flies the homeward-bound
agent was lying flushed
and insensible; the other,
bent over his books,
was making correct entries of
perfectly correct transactions;
and fifty feet below the
doorstep I could see
the still treetops of the grove of
death.
"Next day I
left that station at last, with a caravan
of sixty men, for a
two-hundred-mile tramp.
"No use telling
you much about that. Paths, paths,
everywhere; a stamped-in
network of paths spreading
over the empty land,
through the long grass, through
burnt grass, through
thickets, down and up chilly
ravines, up and down
stony hills ablaze with heat;
and a solitude, a solitude,
nobody, not a hut. The
population had cleared
out a long time ago. Well, if
a lot of mysterious
niggers armed with all kinds of
fearful weapons suddenly
took to travelling on the
road between Deal and
Gravesend, catching the yo-
kels right and left
to carry heavy loads for them, I
fancy every farm and
cottage thereabouts would
get empty very soon.
Only here the dwellings were
gone, too. Still I
passed through several abandoned
villages. There's something
pathetically childish in
the ruins of grass
walls. Day after day, with the stamp
and shuffle of sixty
pair of bare feet behind me, each
pair under a 60-lb.
load. Camp, cook, sleep, strike
camp, march. Now and
then a carrier dead in harness,
at rest in the long
grass near the path, with an empty
water-gourd and his
long staff lying by his side. A
great silence around
and above. Perhaps on some
quiet night the tremor
of far-off drums, sinking, swell-
ing, a tremor vast,
faint; a sound weird, appealing,
suggestive, and wild
-- and perhaps with as profound
a meaning as the sound
of bells in a Christian country.
Once a white man in
an unbuttoned uniform, camping
on the path with an
armed escort of lank Zanzibaris,
very hospitable and
festive -- not to say drunk. Was
looking after the upkeep
of the road, he declared.
Can't say I saw any
road or any upkeep, unless the
body of a middle-aged
negro, with a bullet-hole in the
forehead, upon which
I absolutely stumbled three
miles farther on, may
be considered as a permanent
improvement. I had
a white companion, too, not a bad
chap, but rather too
fleshy and with the exasperating
habit of fainting on
the hot hillsides, miles away from
the least bit of shade
and water. Annoying, you know,
to hold your own coat
like a parasol over a man's
head while he is coming
to. I couldn't help asking him
once what he meant
by coming there at all. 'To make
money, of course. What
do you think?' he said, scorn-
fully. Then he got
fever, and had to be carried in a
hammock slung under
a pole. As he weighed sixteen
stone I had no end
of rows with the carriers. They
jibbed, ran away, sneaked
off with their loads in the
night -- quite a mutiny.
So, one evening, I made a
speech in English with
gestures, not one of which was
lost to the sixty pairs
of eyes before me, and the next
morning I started the
hammock off in front all right.
An hour afterwards
I came upon the whole concern
wrecked in a bush --
man, hammock, groans, blankets,
horrors. The heavy
pole had skinned his poor nose.
He was very anxious
for me to kill somebody, but
there wasn't the shadow
of a carrier near. I remem-
bered the old doctor
-- 'It would be interesting for
science to watch the
mental changes of individuals, on
the spot.' I felt I
was becoming scientifically interest-
ing. However, all that
is to no purpose. On the fif-
teenth day I came in
sight of the big river again, and
hobbled into the Central
Station. It was on a back
water surrounded by
scrub and forest, with a pretty
border of smelly mud
on one side, and on the three
others enclosed by
a crazy fence of rushes. A ne-
glected gap was all
the gate it had, and the first glance
at the place was enough
to let you see the flabby devil
was running that show.
White men with long staves in
their hands appeared
languidly from amongst the
buildings, strolling
up to take a look at me, and then
retired out of sight
somewhere. One of them, a stout,
excitable chap with
black moustaches, informed me
with great volubility
and many digressions, as soon
as I told him who I
was, that my steamer was at the
bottom of the river.
I was thunderstruck. What, how,
why? Oh, it was 'all
right.' The 'manager himself'
was there. All quite
correct. 'Everybody had behaved
splendidly! splendidly!'
-- 'you must,' he said in agi-
tation, 'go and see
the general manager at once. He is
waiting!'
"I did not see
the real significance of that wreck at
once. I fancy I see
it now, but I am not sure not at
all. Certainly the
affair was too stupid -- when I think
of it -- to be altogether
natural. Still . . . But at the
moment it presented
itself simply as a confounded
nuisance. The steamer
was sunk. They had started
two days before in
a sudden hurry up the river with
the manager on board,
in charge of some volunteer
skipper, and before
they had been out three hours
they tore the bottom
out of her on stones, and she
sank near the south
bank. I asked myself what I was
to do there, now my
boat was lost. As a matter of fact,
I had plenty to do
in fishing my command out of the
river. I had to set
about it the very next day. That,
and the repairs when
I brought the pieces to the sta-
tion, took some months.
"My first interview
with the manager was curious.
He did not ask me to
sit down after my twenty-mile
walk that morning.
He was commonplace in com-
plexion, in feature,
in manners, and in voice. He was
of middle size and
of ordinary build. His eyes, of the
usual blue, were perhaps
remarkably cold, and he
certainly could make
his glance fall on one as trench-
ant and heavy as an
axe. But even at these times the
rest of his person
seemed to disclaim the intention.
Otherwise there was
only an indefinable, faint expres-
sion of his lips, something
stealthy -- a smile -- not a
smile -- I remember
it, but I can't explain. It was un-
conscious, this smile
was, though just after he had
said something it got
intensified for an instant. It
came at the end of
his speeches like a seal applied on
the words to make the
meaning of the commonest
phrase appear absolutely
inscrutable. He was a com-
mon trader, from his
youth up employed in these
parts -- nothing more.
He was obeyed, yet he inspired
neither love nor fear,
nor even respect. He inspired
uneasiness. That was
it! Uneasiness. Not a definite
mistrust -- just uneasiness
-- nothing more. You have
no idea how effective
such a . . . a . . . faculy
can be. He had no genius
for organizing, for initiative,
or for order even.
That was evident in such things as
the deplorable state
of the station. He had no learn-
ing, and no intelligence.
His position had come to him
-- why? Perhaps because
he was never ill . . . He
had served three terms
of three years out there . . .
Because triumphant
health in the general rout of con-
stitutions is a kind
of power in itself. When he went
home on leave he rioted
on a large scale -- pompously.
Jack ashore -- with
a difference -- in externals only.
This one could gather
from his casual talk. He origi-
nated nothing, he could
keep the routine going --
that's all. But he
was great. He was great by this little
thing that it was impossible
to tell what could control
such a man. He never
gave that secret away. Perhaps
there was nothing within
him. Such a suspicion made
one pause -- for out
there there were no external
checks. Once when various
tropical diseases had laid
low almost every 'agent'
in the station, he was heard
to say, 'Men who come
out here should have no en-
trails.' He sealed
the utterance with that smile of his,
as though it had been
a door opening into a darkness
he had in his keeping.
You fancied you had seen
things -- but the seal
was on. When annoyed at meal-
times by the constant
quarrels of the white men about
precedence, he ordered
an immense round table to be
made, for which a special
house had to be built. This
was the station's mess-room.
Where he sat was the
first place -- the
rest were nowhere. One felt this to be
his unalterable conviction.
He was neither civil nor
uncivil. He was quiet.
He allowed his 'boy' -- an over-
fed young negro from
the coast -- to treat the white
men, under his very
eyes, with provoking insolence.
"He began to
speak as soon as he saw me. I had
been very long on the
road. He could not wait. Had
to start without me.
The up-river stations had to be
relieved. There had
been so many delays already that
he did not know who
was dead and who was alive, and
how they got on --
and so on, and so on. He paid no
attention to my explanation,
and, playing with a stick
of sealing-wax, repeated
several times that the situa-
tion was 'very grave,
very grave.' There were ru-
mours that a very important
station was in jeopardy,
and its chief, Mr.
Kurtz, was ill. Hoped it was not
true. Mr. Kurtz was
. . . I felt weary and irritable.
Hang Kurtz, I thought.
I interrupted him by saying
I had heard of Mr.
Kurtz on the coast. 'Ah! So they
talk of him down there,'
he murmured to himself.
Then he began again,
assuring me Mr. Kurtz was the
best agent he had,
an exceptional man, of the greatest
importance to the Company;
therefore I could under-
stand his anxiety.
He was, he said, 'very, very uneasy.'
Certainly he fidgeted
on his chair a good deal, ex-
claimed, 'Ah, Mr. Kurtz!'
broke the stick of sealing-
wax and seemed dumfounded
by the accident. Next
thing he wanted to
know 'how long it would take to'
. . . I interrupted
him again. Being hungry, you
know, and kept on my
feet too, I was getting savage.
'How can I tell?' I
said. 'I haven't even seen the
wreck yet -- some months,
no doubt.' All this talk
seemed to me so futile.
'Some months,' he said. "Well,
let us say three months
before we can make a start.
Yes. That ought to
do the affair.' I flung out of his
hut (he lived all alone
in a clay hut with a sort of
verandah) muttering
to myself my opinion of him.
He was a chattering
idiot. Afterwards I took it back
when it was borne in
upon me startlingly with what
extreme nicety he had
estimated the time requisite for
the 'affair.'
"I went to work
the next day, turning, so to speak,
my back on that station.
In that way only it seemed to
me I could keep my
hold on the redeeming facts of
life. Still, one must
look about sometimes; and then I
saw this station, these
men strolling aimlessly about in
the sunshine of the
yard. I asked myself sometimes
what it all meant.
They wandered here and there with
their absurd long staves
in their hands, like a lot of
faithless pilgrims
bewitched inside a rotten fence. The
word 'ivory' rang in
the air, was whispered, was
sighed. You would think
they were praying to it. A
taint of imbecile rapacity
blew through it all, like a
whiff from some corpse.
By Jove! I've never seen
anything so unreal
in my life. And outside, the silent
wilderness surrounding
this cleared speck on the earth
struck me as something
great and invincible, like evil
or truth, waiting patiently
for the passing away of this
fantastic invasion.
"Oh, these months!
Well, never mind. Various
things happened. One
evening a grass shed full of
calico, cotton prints,
beads, and I don't know what
else, burst into a
blaze so suddenly that you would
have thought the earth
had opened to let an avenging
fire consume all that
trash. I was smoking my pipe
quietly by my dismantled
steamer, and saw them all
cutting capers in the
light, with their arms lifted high,
when the stout man
with moustaches came tearing
down to the river,
a tin pail in his hand, assured me
that everybody was
'behaving splendidly, splendidly,'
dipped about a quart
of water and tore back again. I
noticed there was a
hole in the bottom of his pail.
"I strolled
up. There was no hurry. You see the
thing had gone off
like a box of matches. It had been
hopeless from the very
first. The flame had leaped
high, driven everybody
back, lighted up everything --
and collapsed. The
shed was already a heap of embers
glowing fiercely. A
nigger was being beaten near by.
They said he had caused
the fire in some way; be that
as it may, he was screeching
most horribly. I saw him,
later, for several
days, sitting in a bit of shade looking
very sick and trying
to recover himself: afterwards he
arose and went out
-- and the wilderness without a
sound took him into
its bosom again. As I approached
the glow from the dark
I found myself at the back of
two men, talking. I
heard the name of Kurtz pro-
nounced, then the words,
'take advantage of this un-
fortunate accident.'
One of the men was the manager. I
wished him a good evening.
'Did you ever see anything
like it -- eh? it is
incredible,' he said, and walked off.
The other man remained.
He was a first-class agent,
young, gentlemanly,
a bit reserved, with a forked
little beard and a
hooked nose. He was stand-offish
with the other agents,
and they on their side said he
was the manager's spy
upon them. As to me, I had
hardly ever spoken
to him before. We got into talk,
and by and by we strolled
away from the hissing ruins.
Then he asked me to
his room, which was in the main
building of the station.
He struck a match, and I
perceived that this
young aristocrat had not only a
silver-mounted dressing-case
but also a whole candle
all to himself. Just
at that time the manager was the
only man supposed to
have any right to candles.
Native mats covered
the clay walls; a collection of
spears, assegais, shields,
knives was hung up in tro-
phies. The business
intrusted to this fellow was the
making of bricks --
so I had been informed; but there
wasn't a fragment of
a brick anywhere in the station,
and he could not make
bricks without something, I
don't know what --
straw maybe. Anyway, it could not
be found there and
as it was not likely to be sent from
Europe, it did not
appear clear to me what he was
waiting for. An act
of special creation perhaps. How-
ever, they were all
waiting all the sixteen or twenty
pilgrims of them --
for something; and upon my word
it did not seem an
uncongenial occupation, from the
way they took it, though
the only thing that ever
came to them was disease
-- as far as I could see. They
beguiled the time by
backbiting and intriguing against
each other in a foolish
kind of way. There was an air
of plotting about that
station, but nothing came of it,
of course. It was as
unreal as everything else -- as the
philanthropic pretence
of the whole concern, as their
talk, as their government,
as their show of work. The
only real feeling was
a desire to get appointed to a
trading-post where
ivory was to be had, so that they
could earn percentages.
They intrigued and slandered
and hated each other
only on that account -- but as to
effectually lifting
a little finger -- oh, no. By heavens!
there is something
after all in the world allowing one
man to steal a horse
while another must not look at a
halter. Steal a horse
straight out. Very well. He has
done it. Perhaps he
can ride. But there is a way of
looking at a halter
that would provoke the most chari-
table of saints into
a kick.
"I had no idea
why he wanted to be sociable, but as
we chatted in there
it suddenly oocurred to me the
fellow was trying to
get at something -- in fact, pump-
ing me. He alluded
constantly to Europe, to the peo-
ple I was supposed
to know there -- putting leading
questions as to my
acquaintances in the sepulchral city,
and so on. His little
eyes glittered like mica discs --
with curiosity -- though
he tried to keep up a bit of
superciliousness. At
first I was astonished, but very
soon I became awfully
curious to see what he would
find out from me. I
couldn't possibly imagine what I
had in me to make it
worth his while. It was very pretty
to see how he baffled
himself, for in truth my body was
full only of chills,
and my head had nothing in it but
that wretched steamboat
business. It was evident he
took me for a perfectly
shameless prevaricator. At last
he got angry, and,
to conceal a movement of furious
annoyance, he yawned.
I rose. Then I noticed a small
sketch in oils, on
a panel, representing a woman,
draped and blindfolded,
carrying a lighted torch. The
background was sombre
-- almost black. The move-
ment of the woman was
stately, and the effect of the
torchlight on the face
was sinister.
"It arrested
me, and he stood by civilly, holding an
empty half-pint champagne
bottle (medical comforts)
with the candle stuck
in it. To my question he said
Mr. Kurtz had painted
this -- in this very station more
than a year ago --
while waiting for means to go to his
trading-post. 'Tell
me, pray,' said I, 'who is this Mr.
Kurtz?'
" 'The chief
of the Inner Station,' he answered in a
short tone, looking
away. 'Much obliged,' I said,
laughing. 'And you
are the brickmaker of the Central
Station. Every one
knows that.' He was silent for a
while. 'He is a prodigy,'
he said at last. 'He is an
emissary of pity and
science and progress, and devil
knows what else. We
want,' he began to declaim sud-
denly, 'for the guidance
of the cause intrusted to us by
Europe, so to speak,
higher intelligence, wide sympa-
thies, a singleness
of purpose.' 'Who says that?' I
asked. 'Lots of them,'
he replied. 'Some even write
that; and so he comes
here, a special being, as you
ought to know.' 'Why
ought I to know?' I inter-
rupted, really surprised.
He paid no attention. 'Yes.
Today he is chief of
the best station, next year he will
be assistant-manager,
two years more and . . . but I
daresay you know what
he will be in two years' time.
You are of the new
gang -- the gang of virtue. The
same people who sent
him specially also recom-
mended you. Oh, don't
say no. I've my own eyes to
trust.' Light dawned
upon me. My dear aunt's influ-
ential acquaintances
were producing an unexpected
effect upon that young
man. I nearly burst into a
laugh. 'Do you read
the Company's confidential cor-
respondence?' I asked.
He hadn't a word to say. It
was great fun. 'When
Mr. Kurtz,' I continued, se-
verely, 'is General
Manager, you won't have the op-
portunity.'
"He blew the
candle out suddenly, and we went
outside. The moon had
risen. Black figures strolled
about listlessly, pouring
water on the glow, whence
proceeded a sound of
hissing; steam ascended in the
moonlight, the beaten
nigger groaned somewhere.
'What a row the brute
makes!' said the indefatigable
man with the moustaches,
appearing near us. 'Serve
him right. Transgression
-- punishment -- bang! Piti-
less, pitiless. That's
the only way. This will prevent
all conflagrations
for the future. I was just telling the
manager . . .' He noticed
my companion, and be-
came crestfallen all
at once. 'Not in bed yet,' he said,
with a kind of servile
heartiness; 'it's so natural. Ha!
Danger -- agitation.'
He vanished. I went on to the
riverside, and the
other followed me. I heard a scath-
ing murmur at my ear,
'Heap of muffs -- go to.' The
pilgrims could be seen
in knots gesticulating, discuss-
ing. Several had still
their staves in their hands. I
verily believe they
took these sticks to bed with them.
Beyond the fence the
forest stood up spectrally in the
moonlight, and through
the dim stir, through the
faint sounds of that
lamentable courtyard, the silence
of the land went home
to one's very heart -- its mys-
tery, its greatness,
the amazing reality of its concealed
life. The hurt nigger
moaned feebly somewhere near
by, and then fetched
a deep sigh that made me mend
my pace away from there.
I felt a hand introducing
itself under my arm.
'My dear sir,' said the fellow, 'I
don't want to be misunderstood,
and especially by
you, who will see Mr.
Kurtz long before I can have
that pleasure. I wouldn't
like him to get a false idea
of my disposition....'
"I let him run
on, this papier-mache Mephistophe-
les, and it seemed
to me that if I tried I could poke
my forefinger through
him, and would find nothing
inside but a little
loose dirt, maybe. He, don't you see,
had been planning to
be assistant-manager by and by
under the present man,
and I could see that the com-
ing of that Kurtz had
upset them both not a little. He
talked precipitately,
and I did not try to stop him. I
had my shoulders against
the wreck of my steamer,
hauled up on the slope
like a carcass of some big river
animal. The smell of
mud, of primeval mud, by Jove!
was in my nostrils,
the high stillness of primeval for-
est was before my eyes;
there were shiny patches on
the black creek. The
moon had spread over every-
thing a thin layer
of silver -- over the rank grass, over
the mud, upon the wall
of matted vegetation standing
higher than the wall
of a temple, over the great river
I could see through
a sombre gap glittering, glitter-
ing, as it llowed broadly
by without a murmur. All
this was great, expectant,
mute, while the man jab-
bered about himself.
I wondered whether the stillness
on the face of the
immensity looking at us two were
meant as an appeal
or as a menace. What were we who
had strayed in here?
Could we handle that dumb
thing, or would it
handle us? I felt how big, how
confoundedly big, was
that thing that couldn't talk,
and perhaps was deaf
as well. What was in there? I
could see a little
ivory coming out from there, and I
had heard Mr. Kurtz
was in there. I had heard
enough about it, too
-- God knows! Yet somehow it
didn't bring any image
with it -- no more than if I had
been told an angel
or a fiend was in there. I believed
it in the same way
one of you might believe there are
inhabitants in the
planet Mars. I knew once a Scotch
sailmaker who was certain,
dead sure, there were peo-
ple in Mars. If you
asked him for some idea how they
looked and behaved,
he would get shy and mutter
something about 'walking
on all-fours.' If you as
much as smiled, he
would -- though a man of sixty --
offer to fight you.
I would not have gone so far as to
fight for Kurtz, but
I went for him near enough to
lie. You know I hate,
detest, and can't bear a lie, not
because I am straighter
than the rest of us, but simply
because it appalls
me. There is a taint of death, a
flavour of mortality
in lies which is exactly what I
hate and detest in
the world -- what I want to forget.
It makes me miserable
and sick, like biting something
rotten would do. Temperament,
I suppose. Well, I
went near enough to
it by letting the young fool there
believe anything he
liked to imagine as to my influ-
ence in Europe. I became
in an instant as much of a
pretence as the rest
of the bewitched pilgrims. This
simply because I had
a notion it somehow would be of
help to that Kurtz
whom at the time I did not see
you understand. He
was just a word for me. I did
not see the man in
the name any more than you
do. Do you see him?
Do you see the story? Do you
see anything? It seems
to me I am trying to tell you
a dream -- making a
vain attempt, because no relation
of a dream can convey
the dream-sensation, that com-
mingling of absurdity,
surprise, and bewilderment in
a tremor of struggling
revolt, that notion of being
captured by the incredible
which is of the very essence
of dreams...."
He was silent
for a while.
". . . No, it
is impossible; it is impossible to con-
vey the life-sensation
of any given epoch of one's ex-
istence -- that which
makes its truth, its meaning its
subtle and penetrating
essence. It is impossible. We
live, as we dream alone...."
He paused again
again if reflesting, then added:
"Of course in
this you fellows see more than I
could then. You see
me, whom you know. . . ."
It had become
so pitch dark that we listeners could
hardly see one another.
For a long time already he,
sitting apart, had
been no more to us than a voice.
There was not a word
from anybody. The others
might have been asleep,
but I was awake. I listened, I
listened on the watch
for the sentence, for the word,
that would give me
the clue to the faint uneasi-
ness inspired by this
narrative that seemed to shape
itself without human
lips in the heavy night-air of the
river.
". . . Yes --
I let him run on," Marlow began
again, "and think what
he pleased about the powers
that were behind me.
I did! And there was nothing
behind me! There was
nothing but that wretched,
old, mangled steamboat
I was leaning against, while
he talked fluently
about 'the necessity for every man
to get on.' 'And when
one comes out here, you con-
ceive, it is not to
gaze at the moon.' Mr. Kurtz was a
'universal genius,'
but even a genius would find it
easier to work with
'adequate tools -- intelligent men.'
He did not make bricks
-- why, there was a physical
impossibility in the
way -- as I was well aware; and if
he did secretarial
work for the manager, it was be-
cause 'no sensible
man rejects wantonly the confidence
of his superiors.'
Did I see it? I saw it. What more did
I want? What I really
wanted was rivets, by heaven!
Rivets. To get on with
the work -- to stop the hole.
Rivets I wanted. There
were cases of them down at
the coast cases piled
up -- burst -- split! You kicked
a loose rivet at every
second step in that station-yard
on the hillside. Rivets
had rolled into the grove of
death. You could fill
your pockets with rivets for the
trouble of stooping
down -- and there wasn't one rivet
to be found where it
was wanted. We had plates that
would to, but nothing
to fasten them with. And every
week the messenger,
a lone negro, letterbag on shoul-
der and staff in hand,
left our station for the coast.
And several times a
week a coast caravan came in with
trade goods -- ghastly
glazed calico that made you
shudder only to look
at it, glass beads value about a
penny a quart, confounded
spotted cotton handker-
chiefs. And no rivets.
Three carriers could have
brought all that was
wanted to set that steamboat
afloat.
"He was becoming
confidential now, but I fancv my
unresponsive attitude
must have exasperated him at
last, for he judged
it necessary to inform me he feared
neither God nor devil,
let alone any mere man. I said
I could see that very
well, but what I wanted was a
certain quantity of
rivets -- and rivets were what really
Mr. Kurtz wanted, if
he had only known it. Now
letters went to the
coast every week.... 'My dear
sir,' he cried, 'I
write from dictation.' I demanded
rivets. There was a
way -- for an intelligent man. He
changed his manner;
became very cold, and suddenly
began to talk about
a hippopotamus; wondered
whether sleeping on
board the steamer (I stuck to
my salvage night and
day) I wasn't disturbed. There
was an old hippo that
had the bad habit of getting out
on the bank and roaming
at night over the station
grounds. The pilgrims
used to turn out in a body and
empty every rifle they
could lay hands on at him.
Some even had sat up
o' nights for him. All this
energy was wasted,
though. 'That animal has a
charmed life,' he said;
'but you can say this only of
brutes in this country.
No man -- you apprehend me?
-- no man here bears
a charmed life.' He stood there
for a moment in the
moonlight with his delicate
hooked nose set a little
askew, and his mica eyes
glittering without
a wink, then, with a curt Good-
night, he strode off.
I could see he was disturbed and
considerably puzzled,
which made me feel more hope-
ful than I had been
for days. It was a great comfort
to turn from that chap
to my influential friend, the
battered, twisted,
ruined, tin-pot steamboat. I clam-
bered on board. She
rang under my feet like an empty
Huntley & Palmer
biscuit-tin kicked along a gutter;
she was nothing so
solid in make, and rather less pretty
in shape, but I had
expended enough hard work on
her to make me love
her. No infiuential friend would
have served me better.
She had given me a chance to
come out a bit -- to
find out what I could do. No, I
don't like work. I
had rather laze about and think of
all the fine things
that can be done. I don't like work
-- no man does -- but
I like what is in the work -- the
chance to find yourself.
Your own reality -- for your-
self, not for others
-- what no other man can ever
know. They can only
see the mere show, and never
can tell what it really
means.
"I was not surprised
to see somebody sitting aft, on
the deck, with his
legs dangling over the mud. You
see I rather chummed
with the few mechanics there
were in that station,
whom the other pilgrims natur-
ally despised -- on
account of their imperfect manners,
I suppose. This was
the foreman -- a boiler-maker by
trade -- a good worker.
He was a lank, bony, yellow-
faced man, with big
intense eyes. His aspect was
worried, and his head
was as bald as the palm of my
hand; but his hair
in falling seemed to have stuck to
his chin, and had prospered
in the new locality, for
his beard hung down
to his waist. He was a widower
with six young children
(he had left them in charge
of a sister of his
to come out there), and the passion of
his life was pigeon-flying.
He was an enthusiast and
a connoisseur. He would
rave about pigeons. After
work hours he used
sometimes to come over from his
hut for a talk about
his children and his pigeons; at
work, when he had to
crawl in the mud under the
bottom of the steamboat,
he would tie up that beard
of his in a kind of
white serviette he brought for the
purpose. It had loops
to go over his ears. In the eve-
ning he could be seen
squatted on the bank rinsing that
wrapper in the creek
with great care, then spreading
it solemnly on a bush
to dry.
"I slapped him
on the back and shouted, 'We shall
have rivets!' He scrambled
to his feet exclaiming,
'No! Rivets!' as though
he couldn't believe his ears.
Then in a low voice,
'You . . . eh?' I don't know
why we behaved like
lunatics. I put my finger to the
side of my nose and
nodded mysteriously. 'Good for
you!' he cried, snapped
his fingers above his head,
lifting one foot. I
tried a jig. We capered on the iron
deck. A frightful clatter
came out of that hulk, and
the virgin forest on
the other bank of the creek sent
it back in a thundering
roll upon the sleeping station.
It must have made some
of the pilgrims sit up in their
hovels. A dark figure
obscured the lighted doorway
of the manager's hut,
vanished, then, a second or
so after, the doorway
itself vanished, too. We stopped,
and the silence driven
away by the stamience and progress, and devil
knows what else. We
want,' he began to declaim sud-
denly, 'for the guidance
of the cause intrusted to us by
Europe, so to speak,
higher intelligence, wide sympa-
thies, a singleness
of purpose.' 'Who says that?' I
asked. 'Lots of them,'
he replied. 'Some even write
sweep every little
man of us out of his little existence.
And it moved not. A
deadened burst of mighty
splashes and snorb
reached us from afar, as though
an ichthyosaurus had
been taking a bath of glitter in
the great river. 'After
all,' said the boiler-maker in a
reasonable tone, 'why
shouldn't we get the rivets?'
Why not, indeed! I
did not know of any reason why
we shouldn't. 'They'll
come in three weeks,' I said,
confidently.
"But they didn't.
Instead of rivets there came an
invasion, an infliction,
a visitation. It came in sections
during the next three
weeks, each section headed by
a donkey carrying a
white man in new clothes and
tan shoes, bowing from
that elevation right and left
to the impressed pilgrims.
A quarrelsome band of
footsore sulky niggers
trod on the heels of the don-
key; a lot of tents,
campstools, tin boxes, white cases,
brown bales would be
shot down in the court-yard,
and the air of mystery
would deepen a little over the
muddle of the station.
Five such instalments came,
with their absurd air
of disorderly flight with the
loot of innumerable
outfit shops and provision stores,
that, one would think,
they were lugging, after a
raid, into the wilderness
for equitable division. It was
an inextricable mess
of things decent in themselves
but that human folly
made look like the spoils of
thieving.
"This devoted
band called itself the Eldorado
Exploring Expedition,
and I believe they were sworn
to secrecy. Their talk,
however, was the talk of sordid
buccaneers: it was
reckless without hardihood, greedy
without audacity, and
cruel without courage; there
was not an atom of
foresight or of serious intention in
the whole batch of
them, and they did not seem aware
these things are wanted
for the work of the world.
To tear treasure out
of the bowels of the land was
their desire, with
no more moral purpose at the back
of it than there is
in burglars breaking into a safe.
Who paid the expenses
of the noble enterprise I don't
know; but the uncle
of our manager was leader of
that lot.
"In exterior
he resembled a butcher in a poor neigh-
bourhood, and his eyes
had a look of sleepy cunning.
He carried his fat
paunch with ostentation on his
short legs, and during
the time his gang infested the
station spoke to no
one but his nephew. You could
see these two roaming
about all day long with their
heads close together
in an everlasting confab.
"I had given
up worrying myself about the rivets.
One's capacity for
that kind of folly is more limited
than you would suppose.
I said Hang! -- and let
things slide. I had
plenty of time for meditation, and
now and then I would
give some thought to Kurtz.
I wasn't very interested
in him. No. Still, I was curious
to see whether this
man, who had come out equipped
with moral ideas of
some sort, would climb to the top
after all and how he
would set about his work when
there."
II
"One evening
as I was lying flat on the deck of my
steamboat, I heard
voices approaching -- and there
were the nephew and
the uncle strolling along the
bank. I laid my head
on my arm again, and had nearly
lost myself in a doze,
when somebody said in my ear,
as it were: 'I am as
harmless as a little child, but I
don't like to be dictated
to. Am I the manager -- or am
I not? I was ordered
to send him there. It's incred-
ible.'. . . I became
aware that the two were standing
on the shore alongside
the forepart of the steamboat,
just below my head.
I did not move; it did not occur
to me to move: I was
sleepy. 'It is unpleasant,'
grunted the uncle.
'He has asked the Administration
to be sent there,'
said the other, 'with the idea of show-
ing what he could do;
and I was instructed accord-
ingly. Look at the
influence that man must have. Is
it not frightful?'
They both agreed it was frightful,
then made several bizarre
remarks: 'Make rain and
fine weather -- one
man -- the Council -- by the nose' --
bits of absurd sentences
that got the better of my
drowsiness, so that
I had pretty near the whole of my
wits about me when
the uncle said, 'The climate may
do away with this difficulty
for you. Is he alone there?'
'Yes,' answered the
manager; 'he sent his assistant
down the river with
a note to me in these terms:
"Clear this poor devil
out of the country, and don't
bother sending more
of that sort. I had rather be
alone than have the
kind of men you can dispose of
with me." It was more
than a year ago. Can you im-
agine such impudence!'
'Anything since then?' asked
the other hoarsely.
'Ivory,' jerked the nephew; 'lots
of it -- prime sort
-- lots -- most annoying, from him.'
because it appalls
me. There is a taint of death, a
flavour of mortality
in lies which is exactly what I
hate and detest in
the world -- what I want to forget.
It makes me miserable
and sick, like biting something
rotten would do. Temperament,
I suppose. Well, I
went near enough to
it by letting the young fool there
believe anything he
liked to imagine as to my influ-
ence in Europe. I became
in an instant as much of a
pretence as the rest
of the bewitched pilgrims. This
simply because I had
a notion it somehow would be of
help to that Kurtz
whom at the time I did not see
you understand. He
was just a word for me. I did
not see the man in
the name any more than you
do. Do you see him?
Do you see the story? Do you
see anything? It seems
to me I am trying to tell you
a dream -- making a
vain attempt, because no relation
of a dream can convey
the dream-sensation, that com-
mingling of absurdity,
surprise, and bewilderment in
a tremor of struggling
revolt, that notion of being
captured by the incredible
which is of the very essence
of dreams...."
He was silent
for a while.
". . . No, it
is impossible; it is impossible to con-
vey the life-sensation
of any given epoch of one's ex-
istence -- that which
makes its truth, its meaning its
subtle and penetrating
essence. It is impossible. We
live, as we dream alone...."
He paused again
again if reflesting, then added:
"Of course in
this you fellows see more than I
could then. You see
me, whom you know. . . ."
It had become
so pitch dark that we listeners could
hardly see one another.
For a long time already he,
sitting apart, had
been no more to us than a voice.
There was not a word
from anybody. The others
might have been asleep,
but I was awake. I listened, I
listened on the watch
for the sentence, for the word,
that would give me
the clue to the faint uneasi-
ness inspired by this
narrative that seemed to shape
itself without human
lips in the heavy night-air of the
river.
". . . Yes --
I let him run on," Marlow began
again, "and think what
he pleased about the powers
that were behind me.
I did! And there was nothing
behind me! There was
nothing but that wretched,
old, mangled steamboat
I was leaning against, while
he talked fluently
about 'the necessity for every man
to get on.' 'And when
one comes out here, you con-
ceive, it is not to
gaze at the moon.' Mr. Kurtz was a
'universal genius,'
but even a genius would find it
easier to work with
'adequate tools -- intelligent men.'
He did not make bricks
-- why, there was a physical
impossibility in the
way -- as I was well aware; and if
he did secretarial
work for the manager, it was be-
cause 'no sensible
man rejects wantonly the confidence
of his superiors.'
Did I see it? I saw it. What more did
I want? What I really
wanted was rivets, by heaven!
Rivets. To get on with
the work -- to stop the hole.
Rivets I wanted. There
were cases of them down at
the coast cases piled
up -- burst -- split! You kicked
a loose rivet at every
second step in that station-yard
on the hillside. Rivets
had rolled into the grove of
death. You could fill
your pockets with rivets for the
trouble of stooping
down -- and there wasn't one rivet
to be found where it
was wanted. We had plates that
would to, but nothing
to fasten them with. And every
week the messenger,
a lone negro, letterbag on shoul-
der and staff in hand,
left our station for the coast.
And several times a
week a coast caravan came in with
trade goods -- ghastly
glazed calico that made you
shudder only to look
at it, glass beads value about a
penny a quart, confounded
spotted cotton handker-
chiefs. And no rivets.
Three carriers could have
brought all that was
wanted to set that steamboat
afloat.
"He was becoming
confidential now, but I fancv my
unresponsive attitude
must have exasperated him at
last, for he judged
it necessary to inform me he feared
neither God nor devil,
let alone any mere man. I said
I could see that very
well, but what I wanted was a
certain quantity of
rivets -- and rivets were what really
Mr. Kurtz wanted, if
he had only known it. Now
letters went to the
coast every week.... 'My dear
sir,' he cried, 'I
write from dictation.' I demanded
rivets. There was a
way -- for an intelligent man. He
changed his manner;
became very cold, and suddenly
began to talk about
a hippopotamus; wondered
whether sleeping on
board the steamer (I stuck to
my salvage night and
day) I wasn't disturbed. There
was an old hippo that
had the bad habit of getting out
on the bank and roaming
at night over the station
grounds. The pilgrims
used to turn out in a body and
empty every rifle they
could lay hands on at him.
Some even had sat up
o' nights for him. All this
energy was wasted,
though. 'That animal has a
charmed life,' he said;
'but you can say this only of
brutes in this country.
No man -- you apprehend me?
-- no man here bears
a charmed life.' He stood there
for a moment in the
moonlight with his delicate
hooked nose set a little
askew, and his mica eyes
glittering without
a wink, then, with a curt Good-
night, he strode off.
I could see he was disturbed and
considerably puzzled,
which made me feel more hope-
ful than I had been
for days. It was a great comfort
to turn from that chap
to my influential friend, the
battered, twisted,
ruined, tin-pot steamboat. I clam-
bered on board. She
rang under my feet like an empty
Huntley & Palmer
biscuit-tin kicked along a gutter;
she was nothing so
solid in make, and rather less pretty
in shape, but I had
expended enough harh and the big trees were kings. An
empty stream, a great
silence, an impenetrable forest.
The air was warm, thick,
heavy, sluggish. There was
no joy in the brilliance
of sunshine. The long stretches
of the waterway ran
on, deserted, into the gloom of
over-shadowed distances.
On silvery sandbanks hippos
and alligators sunned
themselves side by side. The
broadening waters flowed
through a mob of wooded
islands; you lost your
way on that river as you would
in a desert, and butted
all day long against shoals,
trying to find the
channel, till you thought yourself
bewitched and cut off
for ever from everything you
had known once -- somewhere
-- far away -- in another
existence perhaps.
There were moments when one's
past came back to one,
as it will sometimes when you
have not a moment to
spare to yourself; but it came in
the shape of an unrestful
and noisy dream, remembered
with wonder amongst
the overwhelming realities
of this strange world
of plants, and water, and silence.
And this stillness
of life did not in the least resemble
a peace. It was the
stillness of an implacable force
brooding over an inscrutable
intention. It looked at
you with a vengeful
aspect. I got used to it afterwards;
I did not see it any
more; I had no time. I had to keep
guessing at the channel;
I had to discern, mostly by
inspiration, the signs
of hidden banks; I watched for
sunken stones; I was
learning to clap my teeth smartly
before my heart flew
out, when I shaved by a fluke
some infernal sly old
snag that would have ripped the
life out of the tin-pot
steamboat and drowned all the
pilgrims; I had to
keep a lookout for the signs of
dead wood we could
cut up in the night for next day's
steaming. When you
have to attend to things of that
sort, to the mere incidents
of the surface, the reality --
the reality, I tell
you -- fades. The inner truth is hid-
den -- luckily, luckily.
But I felt it all the same; I
felt often its mysterious
stillness watching me at my
monkey tricks, just
as it watches you fellows perform-
ing on your respective
tight-ropes for -- what is it?
half-a-crown a tumble
--"
"Try to be civil,
Marlow," growled a voice, and I
knew there was at least
one listener awake besides
myself.
"I beg your
pardon. I forgot the heartache which
makes up the rest of
the price. And indeed what does
the price matter, if
the trick be well done? You do
your tricks very well.
And I didn't do badly either,
since I managed not
to sink that steamboat on my first
trip. It's a wonder
to me yet. Imagine a blindfolded
man set to drive a
van over a bad road. I sweated and
shivered over that
business considerably, I can tell
you. After all, for
a seaman, to scrape the bottom of
the thing that's supposed
to float all the time under
his care is the unpardonable
sin. No one may know of
it, but you never forget
the thump -- eh? A blow on
the very heart. You
remember it, you dream of it, you
wake up at night and
think of it -- years after -- and go
hot and cold all over.
I don't pretend to say that
steamboat floated all
the time. More than once she
had to wade for a bit,
with twenty cannibals splashing
around and pushing.
We had enlisted some of these
chaps on the way for
a crew. Fine fellows -- cannibals
-- in their place.
They were men one could work with,
and I am grateful to
them. And, after all, they did
not eat each other
before my face: they had brought
along a provision of
hippo-meat which went rotten,
and made the mystery
of the wilderness stink in my
nostrils. Phoo! I can
sniff it now. I had the manager
on board and three
or four pilgrims with their staves
-- all complete. Sometimes
we came upon a station
close by the bank,
clinging to the skirts of the un-
known, and the white
men rushing out of a tumble-
down hovel, with great
gestures of joy and surprise
and welcome, seemed
very strange -- had the appear-
ance of being held
there captive by a spell. The word
ivory would ring in
the air for a while -- and on we
went again into the
silence, along empty reaches,
round the still bends,
between the high walls of our
winding way, reverberating
in hollow claps the pon-
derous beat of the
stern-wheel. Trees, trees, millions
of trees, massive,
immense, running up high; and
at their foot, hugging
the bank against the stream,
crept the little begrimed
steamboat, like a sluggish
beetle crawling on
the floor of a lofty portico. It made
you feel very small,
very lost, and yet it was not alto-
gether depressing,
that feeling. After all, if you were
small, the grimy beetle
crawled on -- which was just
what you wanted it
to do. Where the pilgrims im-
agined it crawled to
I don't know. To some place
where they expected
to get something. I bet! For me
it crawled towards
Kurtz -- exclusively; but when the
steam-pipes started
leaking we crawled very slow.
The reaches opened
before us and closed behind, as if
the forest had stepped
leisurely across the water to
bar the way for our
return. We penetrated deeper and
deeper into the heart
of darkness. It was very quiet
there. At night sometimes
the roll of drums behind
the curtain of trees
would run up the river and remain
sustained faintly,
as if hovering in the air high over
our heads, till the
first break of day. Whether it meant
war, peace, or prayer
we could not tell. The dawns
were heralded by the
descent of a chill stillness; the
wood-cutters slept,
their fires burned low; the snap-
ping of a twig would
make you start. We were wan-
derers on a prehistoric
earth, on an earth that wore the
aspect of an unknown
planet. We could have fancied
ourselves the first
of men taking possession of an ac-
cursed inheritance,
to be subdued at the cost of pro-
found anguish and of
excessive toil. But suddenly,
as we struggled round
a bend, there would be a
glimpse of rush walls,
of peaked grass-roofs, a burst
of yells, a whirl of
black limbs, a mass of hands clap-
ping, of feet stamping,
of bodies swaying, of eyes
rolling, under the
droop of heavy and motionless
foliage. The steamer
toiled along slowly on the edge
of a black and incomprehensible
frenzy. The prehis-
toric man was cursing
us, praying to us, welcoming us
-- who could tell?
We were cut off from the compre-
hension of our surroundings;
we glided past like
phantoms, wondering
and secretly appalled, as sane
men would be before
an enthusiastic outbreak in a
madhouse. We could
not understand because we were
too far and could not
remember because we were
travelling in the night
of first ages, of those ages that
are gone, leaving hardly
a sign -- and no memories.
"The earth seemed
unearthly. We are accustomed
to look upon the shackled
form of a conquered mon-
ster, but there --
there you could look at a thing mon-
strous and free. It
was unearthly, and the men were
-- No, they were not
inhuman. Well, you know,
that was the worst
of it -- this suspicion of their not
being inhuman. It would
come slowly to one. They
howled and leaped,
and spun, and made horrid faces;
but what thrilled you
was just the thought of their
humanity -- like yours
-- the thought of your remote
kinship with this wild
and passionate uproar. Ugly.
Yes, it was ugly enough;
but if you were man enough
you would admit to
yourself that there was in you just
the faintest trace
of a response to the terrible frank-
ness of that noise,
a dim suspicion of there being a
meaning in it which
you -- you so remote from the
night of first ages
-- could comprehend. And why not?
The mind of man is
capable of anything -- because
everything is in it,
all the past as well as all the future.
What was there after
all? Joy, fear, sorrow, devotion,
valour, rage -- who
can tell? -- but truth -- truth
stripped of its cloak
of time. Let the fool gape and
shudder -- the man
knows, and can look on without a
wink. But he must at
least be as much of a man as
these on the shore.
He must meet that truth with his
own true stuff -- with
his own inborn strength. Princi-
ples won't do. Acquisitions,
clothes, pretty rags -- rags
that would fly off
at the first good shake. No; you
want a deliberate belief.
An appeal to me in this fiend-
ish row -- is there?
Very well; I hear; I admit, but I
have a voice, too,
and for good or evil mine is the
speech that cannot
be silenced. Of course, a fool, what
with sheer fright and
fine sentiments, is always safe.
Who's that grunting?
You wonder I didn't go ashore
for a howl and a dance?
Well, no -- I didn't. Fine
sentiments, you say?
Fine sentiments, be hanged! I
had no time. I had
to mess about with white-lead and
strips of woolen blanket
helping to put bandages on
those leaky steampipes
-- I tell you. I had to watch
the steering, and circumvent
those snags, and get the
tin-pot along by hook
or by crook. There was surface-
truth enough in these
things to save a wiser man. And
between whiles I had
to look after the savage who was
fireman. He was an
improved specimen; he could fire
up a vertical boiler.
He was there below me, and,
upon my word, to look
at him was as edifying as
seeing a dog in a parody
of breeches and a feather
hat, walking on his
hindlegs. A few months of
training had done for
that really fine chap. He
squinted at the steam-gauge
and at the water-guage
with an evident effort
of intrepidity -- and he had
filed teeth, too, the
poor devil, and the wool of his
pate shaved into queer
patterns, and three orna-
mental scars on each
of his cheeks. He ought to have
been clapping his hands
and stamping his feet on the
bank, instead of which
he was hard at work, a thrall to
strange witchcraft,
full of improving knowledge. He
was useful because
he had been instructed; and what
he knew was this --
that should the water in that trans-
parent thing disappear,
the evil spirit inside the
boiler would get angry
through the greatness of his
thirst, and take a
terrible vengeance. So he sweated
and watched the glass
fearfully (with an impromptu
charm, made of rags,
tied to his arm, and a piece of
polished bone, as big
as a watch, stuck flatways through
his lower lip), while
the wooded banks slipped past
us slowly, the short
noise was left behind, the inter-
minable miles of silence
-- and we crept on, towards
Kurtz. But the snags
were thick, the water was treach-
erous and shallow,
the boiler seemed indeed to have
a sulky devil in it,
and thus neither that fireman nor
I had any time to peer
into our creepy thoughts.
"Some fifty
miles below the Inner Station we came
upon a hut of reeds,
an inclined and melancholy pole,
with the unrecognizable
tatters of what had been a
flag of some sort flying
from it, and a neatly stacked
woodpile. This was
unexpected. We came to the bank,
and on the stack of
firewood found a flat piece of
board with some faded
pencil-writing on it. When de-
ciphered it said: 'Wood
for you. Hurry up. Approach
cautiously.' There
was a signature, but it was illegible
-- not Kurtz -- a much
longer word. 'Hurry up.'
Where? Up the river?
'Approach cautiously.' We had
not done so. But the
warning could not have been
meant for the place
where it could be only found
after approach. Something
was wrong above. But
what -- and how much?
That was the question. We
commented adversely
upon the imbecility of that
telegraphic style.
The bush around said nothing, and
would not let us look
very far either. A torn curtain
of red twill hung in
the doorway of the hut, and
flapped sadly in our
faces. The dwelling was dis-
mantled; but we could
see a white man had lived
there not very long
ago. There remained a rude table
-- a plank on two posts;
a heap of rubbish reposed in
a dark corner, and
by the door I picked up a book. It
had lost its covers,
and the pages had been thumbed
into a state of extremely
dirty softness; but the back
had been lovingly stitched
afresh with white cotton
thread, which looked
clean yet. It was an extraodi-
nary find. Its title
was, An Inquiry snto some Points
of Seamanship, by a
man Towser, Towson -- some such
name -- Master in his
Majesty's Navy. The matter
looked dreary reading
enough, with illustrative dia-
grams and repulsive
tables of figures, and the copy
was sixty years old.
I handled this amazing antiquity
with the greatest possible
tenderness, lest it should
dissolve in my hands.
Within, Towson or Towser was
inquiring earnestly
into the breaking strain of ships'
chains and tackle,
and other such matters. Not a very
enthrailing book; but
at the first glance you could
see there a singleness
of intention, an honest concern
for the right way of
going to work, which made these
humble pages, thought
out so many years ago, lumi-
nous with another than
a professional light. The
simple old sailor,
with his talk of chains and purchases,
made me forget the
jungle and the pilgrims in a deli-
cious sensation of
having come upon something unmis-
takably real. Such
a book being there was wonderful
enough but still more
astounding were the notes pen-
cilled in the margin,
and plainly referring to the text.
I couldn't believe
my eyes! They were in cipher! Yes,
it looked like cipher.
Fancy a man lugging with him
a book of that description
into this nowhere and
studying it -- and
making notes -- in cipher at that! It
was an extravagant
mystery.
"I had been
dimly aware for some time of a worry-
ing noise, and when
I lifted my eyes I saw the wood-
pile was gone, and
the manager, aided by all the pil-
grims, was shouting
at me from the riverside. I
slipped the book into
my pocket. I assure you to leave
off reading was like
tearing myself away from the
shelter of an old and
solid friendship.
"I started the
lame engine ahead. 'It must be this
miserable trader --
this intruder,' exclaimed the man-
ager, looking back
malevolently at the place we had
left. 'He must be English,'
I said. 'It will not save
him from getting into
trouble if he is not careful,'
muttered the manager
darkly. I observed with as-
sumed innocence that
no man was safe from trouble
in this world.
"The current
was more rapid now, the steamer
seemed at her last
gasp, the stern-wheel flopped lan-
guidly, and I caught
myself listening on tiptoe for the
next beat of the boat,
for in sober truth I expected the
wretched thing to give
up every moment. It was like
watching the last flickers
of a life. But still we crawled.
Sometimes I would pick
out a tree a little way ahead
to measure our progress
towards Kurtz by, but I lost
it invariably before
we got abreast. To keep the eyes
so long on one thing
was too much for human patience.
The manager displayed
a beautiful resignation. I
fretted and fumed and
took to arguing with myself
whether or no I would
talk openly with Kurtz; but
before I could come
to any conclusion it occurred to
me that my speech or
my silence, indeed any action
of mine, would be a
mere futility. What did it matter
what any one knew or
ignored? What did it matter
who was manager? One
gets sometimes such a flash
of insight. The essentials
of this affair lay deep under
the surface, beyond
my reach, and beyond my power
of meddling.
"Towards the
evening of the second day we judged
ourselves about eight
miles from Kurtz's station. I
wanted to push on;
but the manager looked grave,
and told me the navigation
up there was so dangerous
that it would be advisable,
the sun being very low
already, to wait where
we were till next morning.
Moreover, he pointed
out that if the warning to ap-
proach cautiously were
to be followed, we must ap-
proach in daylight
-- not at dusk or in the dark. This
was sensible enough.
Eight miles meant nearly three
hours' steaming for
us, and I could also see suspicious
ripples at the upper
end of the reach. Nevertheless,
I was annoyed beyond
expression at the delay, and
most unreasonably,
too, since one night more could
not matter much after
so many months. As we had
plenty of wood, and
caution was the word, I brought
up in the middle of
the stream. The reach was narrow,
straight, with high
sides like a railway cutting. The
dusk came gliding into
it long before the sun had set.
The current ran smooth
and swift, but a dumb immo-
bility sat on the banks.
The living trees, lashed to-
gether by the creepers
and every living bush of the
undergrowth, might
have been changed into stone,
even to the slenderest
twig, to the lightest leaf. It
was not sleep -- it
seemed unnatural, like a state of
trance. Not the faintest
sound of any kind could be
heard. You looked on
amazed, and began to suspect
yourself of being deaf--
then the night came sud-
denly, and struck you
blind as well. About three in the
morning some large
fish leaped, and the loud splash
made me jump as though
a gun had been fired. When
the sun rose there
was a white fog, very warm and
clammy, and more blinding
than the night. It did not
shift or drive; it
was just there, standing all round
you like something
solid. At eight or nine, perhaps, it
lifted as a shutter
lifts. We had a glimpse of the
towering multitude
of trees, of the immense matted
jungle, with the blazing
little ball of the sun hanging
over it -- all perfectly
still -- and then the white shutter
came down again, smoothly,
as if sliding in greased
grooves. I ordered
the chain, which we had begun to
heave in, to be paid
out again. Before it stopped run-
ning with a muffled
rattle, a cry, a very loud cry, as of
infinite desolation,
soared slowly in the opaque air. It
ceased. A complaining
clamour, modulated in savage
discords, filled our
ears. The sheer unexpectedness of
it made my hair stir
under my cap. I don't know how
it struck the others:
to me it seemed as though the
mist itself had screamed,
so suddenly, and apparently
from all sides at once,
did this tumultuous and mourn-
ful uproar arise. It
culminated in a hurried outbreak
of almost intolerably
escessive shrieking, which
stopped short, leaving
us stiffened in a variety of silly
attitudes, and obstinately
listening to the nearly as
appalling and excessive
silence. 'Good God! What is
the meaning --' stammered
at my elbow one of the
pilgrims -- a little
fat man, with sandy hair and red
whiskers, who wore
sidespring boots, and pink py-
jamas tucked into his
socks. Two others remained
open-mouthed a whole
minute, then dashed into the
little cabin, to rush
out incontinently and stand dart-
ing scared glances,
with Winchesters at 'ready' in
their hands. What we
could see was just the steamer
we were on, her outlines
blurred as though she had
been on the point of
dissolving, and a misty strip of
water, perhaps two
feet broad, around her -- and that
was all. The rest of
the world was nowhere, as far as
our eyes and ears were
concerned. Just nowhere.
Gone, disappeared;
swept off without leaving a
whisper or a shadow
behind.
"I went forward,
and ordered the chain to be
hauled in short, so
as to be ready to trip the anchor
and move the steamboat
at once if necessary. 'Will
they attack?' whispered
an awed voice. 'We will be
all butchered in this
fog,' murmured another. The
faces twitched with
the strain, the hands trembled
slightly, the eyes
forgot to wink. It was very curious
to see the contrast
of expressions of the white men
and of the black fellows
of our crew, who were as
much strangers to that
part of the river as we, though
their homes were only
eight hundred miles away.
The whites, of course
greatly discomposed, had be-
sides a curious look
of being painfully shocked by such
an outrageous row.
The others had an alert, naturally
interested expression;
but their faces were essentially
quiet, even those of
the one or two who grinned as
they hauled at the
chain. Several exchanged short,
grunting phrases, which
seemed to settle the matter
to their satisfaction.
Their headman, a young, broad-
chested black, severely
draped in darkblue fringed
cloths, with fierce
nostrils and his hair all done up
artfully in oily ringlets,
stood near me. 'Aha!' I said,
just for good fellowship's
sake. 'Catch 'im,' he
snapped, with a bloodshot
widening of his eyes and
a flash of sharp teeth
-- 'catch 'im. Give 'im to us."To
you, eh?' I asked;
'what would you do with them?'
'Eat 'im!' he said
curtly, and, leaning his elbow on the
rail, looked out into
the fog in a dignified and pro-
foundly pensive attitude.
I would no doubt have been
properly horrified,
had it not occurred to me that he
and his chaps must
be very hungry: that they must
have been growing increasingly
hungry for at least
this month past. They
had been engaged for six
months (I don't think
a single one of them had any
clear idea of time,
as we at the end of countless ages
have. They still belonged
to the beginnings of time --
had no inherited experience
to teach them as it were),
and of course, as long
as there was a piece of paper
written over in accordance
with some farcical law or
other made down the
river, it didn't enter anybody's
head to trouble how
they would live. Certainly they
had brought with them
some rotten hippo-meat, which
couldn't have lasted
very long, anyway, even if the
pilgrims hadn't, in
the midst of a shocking hullabaloo,
thrown a considerable
quantity of it overboard. It
looked like a high-handed
proceeding; but it was
really a case of legitimate
self-defence. You can't
breathe dead hippo
waking, sleeping, and eating, and
at the same time keep
your precarious grip on exist-
ence. Besides that,
they had given them every week
three pieces of brass
wire, each about nine inches long;
and the theory was
they were to buy their provisions
with that currency
in riverside villages. You can see
how that worked. There
were either no villages, or
the people were hostile,
or the director, who like the
rest of us fed out
of tins, with an occasional old he-goat
thrown in, didn't want
to stop the steamer for some
more or less recondite
reason. So, unless they swal-
lowed the wire itself,
or made loops of it to snare the
fishes with, I don't
see what good their extravagant
salary could be to
them. I must say it was paid with a
regularity worthy of
a large and honourable trading
company. For the rest,
the only thing to eat -- though
it didn't look eatable
in the least -- I saw in their pos-
session was a few lumps
of some stuff like half-cooked
dough, of a dirty lavender
colour, they kept wrapped
in leaves, and now
and then swallowed a piece of,
but so small that it
seemed done more for the looks of
the thing than for
any serious purpose of sustenance.
Why in the name of
all the gnawing devils of hunger
they didn't go for
us -- they were thirty to five -- and
have a good tuck-in
for once, amazes me now when I
think of it. They were
big powerful men, with not
much capacity to weigh
the consequences, with cour-
age, with strength,
even yet, though their skins were
no longer glossy and
their muscles no longer hard.
And I saw that something
restraining, one of those
human secrets that
baffle probability, had come into
play there. I looked
at them with a swift quickening of
interest -- not because
it occurred to me I might be
eaten by them before
very long, though I own to you
that just then I perceived
-- in a new light, as it were
-- how unwholesome
the pilgrims looked, and I
hoped, yes, I positively
hoped, that my aspect was not
so -- what shall I
say? -- so -- unappetizing: a touch of
fantastic vanity which
fitted well with the dream-sen-
sation that pervaded
all my days at that time. Perhaps
I had a little fever,
too. One can't live with one's finger
everlastingly on one's
pulse. I had often 'a little
fever,' or a little
touch of other things -- the playful
paw-strokes of the
wilderness, the preliminary trifling
before the more serious
onslaught which came in due
course. Yes; I looked
at them as you would on any
human being, with a
curiosity of their impulses,
motives, capacities,
weaknesses, when brought to the
test of an inexorable
physical necessity. Restraint!
What possible restraint?
Was it superstition, disgust,
patience, fear -- or
some kind of primitive honour? No
fear can stand up to
hunger, no patience can wear it out,
disgust simply does
not exist where hunger is; and as
to superstition, beliefs,
and what you may call princi-
ples, they are less
than chaff in a breeze. Don't you
know the devilry of
lingering starvation, its exasperat-
ing torment, its black
thoughts, its sombre and brood-
ing ferocity? Well,
I do. It takes a man all his inborn
strength to fight hunger
properly. It's really easier to
face bereavement, dishonour,
and the perdition of
one's soul -- than
this kind of prolonged hunger. Sad,
but true. And these
chaps, too, had no earthly reason
for any kind of scruple.
Restraint! I would just as
soon have expected
restraint from a hyena prowling
amongst the corpses
of a battlefield. But there was the
fact facing me -- the
fact dazzling, to be seen, like the
foam on the depths
of the sea, like a ripple on an un-
fathomable enigma,
a mystery greater -- when I
thought of it -- than
the curious, inexplicable note of
desperate grief in
this savage clamour that had swept
by us on the river-bank,
behind the blind whiteness of
the fog.
"Two pilgrims
were quarrelling in hurried whis-
pers as to which bank.
'Left.' 'No, no; how can you?
Right, right, of course.'
'It is very serious,' said the
manager's voice behind
me; 'I would be desolated if
anything should happen
to Mr. Kurtz before we came
up.' I looked at him,
and had not the slightest doubt
he was sincere. He
was just the kind of man who
would wish to preserve
appearances. That was his re-
straint. But when he
muttered something about going
on at once, I did not
even take the trouble to answer
him. I knew, and he
knew, that it was impossible.
Were we to let go our
hold of the bottom, we would
be absolutely in the
air -- in space. We wouldn't be
able to tell where
we were going to -- whether up or
down stream, or across
-- till we fetched against one
bank or the other --
and then we wouldn't know at
first which it was.
Of course I made no move. I had
no mind for a smash-up.
You couldn't imagine a more
deadly place for a
shipwreck. Whether drowned at
once or not, we were
sure to perish speedily in one
way or another. 'I
authorize you to take all the risks,'
he said, after a short
silence. 'I refuse to take any,' I
said shortly; which
was just the answer he expected,
though its tone might
have surprised him. 'Well, I
must defer to your
judgment. You are captain,' he
said with marked civility.
I turned my shoulder to him
in sign of my appreciation,
and looked into the fog.
How long would it last?
It was the most hopeless
lookout. The approach
to this Kurtz grubbing for
ivory in the wretched
bush was beset by as many dan-
gers as though he had
been an enchanted princess
sleeping in a fabulous
castle. 'Will they attack, do you
think?' asked the manager,
in a confidential tone.
"I did not think
they would attack, for several
obvious reasons. The
thick fog was one. If they left
the bank in their canoes
they would get lost in it, as
we would be if we attempted
to move. Still, I had
also judged the jungle
of both banks quite impene-
trable -- and yet eyes
were in it, eyes that had seen us.
The riverside bushes
were certainly very thick; but
the undergrowth behind
was evidently penetrable.
However, during the
short lift I had seen no canoes
anywhere in the reach
-- certainly not abreast of the
steamer. But what made
the idea of attack inconceiv-
able to me was the
nature of the noise -- of the cries
we had heard. They
had not the fierce character
boding immediate hostile
intention. Unexpected,
wild, and violent as
they had been, they had given
me an irresistible
impression of sorrow. The glimpse
of the steamboat had
for some reason filled those
savages with unrestrained
grief. The danger, if any,
I expounded, was from
our proximity to a great
human passion let loose.
Even extreme grief may ul-
timately vent itself
in violence -- but more generally
takes the form of apathy....
"You should
have seen the pilgrims stare! They
had no heart to grin,
or even to revile me: but I be-
lieve they thought
me gone mad -- with fright, maybe.
I delivered a regular
lecture. My dear boys, it was no
good bothering. Keep
a lookout? Well, you may guess
I watched the fog for
the signs of lifting as a cat
watches a mouse; but
for anything else our eyes were
of no more use to us
than if we had been buried miles
deep in a heap of cotton-wool.
It feIt like it, too --
choking, warm, stifling.
Besides, all I said, though it
sounded extravagant,
was absolutely true to fact.
What we afterwards
alluded to as an attack was
really an attempt at
repulse. The action was very far
from being aggressive
-- it was not even defensive, in
the usual sense: it
was undertaken under the stress of
desperation, and in
its essence was purely protective.
"It developed
itself, I should say, two hours after
the fog lifted, and
its commencement was at a spot,
roughly speaking, about
a mile and a half below
Kurtz's station. We
had just floundered and flopped
round a bend, when
I saw an islet, a mere grassy hum-
mock of bright green,
in the middle of the stream.
It was the only thing
of the kind; but as we opened
the reach more, I perceived
it was the head of a long
sand-bank, or rather
of a chain of shallow patches
stretching down the
middle of the river. They were
discoloured, just awash,
and the whole lot was seen
just under the water,
exactly as a man's backbone is
seen running down the
middle of his back under the
skin. Now, as far as
I did see, I could go to the right
or to the left of this.
I didn't know either channel, of
course. The banks looked
pretty well alike, the depth
appeared the same;
but as I had been informed the
station was on the
west side, I naturally headed for
the western passage.
"No sooner had
we fairly entered it than I became
aware it was much narrower
than I had supposed. To
the left of us there
was the long uninterrupted shoal,
and to the right a
high, steep bank heavily overgrown
with bushes. Above
the bush the trees stood in serried
ranks. The twigs overhung
the current thickly, and
from distance to distance
a large limb of some tree
projected rigidly over
the stream. It was then well on
in the afternoon, the
face of the forest was gloomy,
and a broad strip of
shadow had already fallen on the
water. In this shadow
we steamed up -- very slowly, as
you may imagine. I
sheered her well inshore -- the
water being deepest
near the bank, as the sounding-
pole informed me.
"One of my hungry
and forbearing friends was
sounding in the bows
just below me. This steamboat
was exactly like a
decked scow. On the deck, there
were two little teakwood
houses, with doors and win-
dows. The boiler was
in the fore-end, and the ma-
chinery right astern.
Over the whole there was a light
roof, supported on
stanchions. The funnel projected
through that roof,
and in front of the funnel a small
cabin built of light
planks served for a pilot-house. It
contained a couch,
two camp-stools, a loaded Martini-
Henry leaning in one
corner, a tiny table, and the
steering-wheel. It
had a wide door in front and a
broad shutter at each
side. All these were always
thrown open, of course.
I spent my days perched up
there on the extreme
fore-end of that roof, before the
door. At night I slept,
or tried to, on the couch. An
athletic black belonging
to some coast tribe and edu-
cated by my poor predecessor,
was the helmsman. He
sported a pair of brass
earrings, wore a blue cloth
wrapper from the waist
to the ankles, and thought all
the world of himself.
He was the most unstable kind
of fool I had ever
seen. He steered with no end of a
swagger while you were
by; but if he lost sight of
you, he became instantly
the prey of an abject funk,
and would let that
cripple of a steamboat get the upper
hand of him in a minute.
"I was looking
down at the sounding-pole, and
feeling much annoyed
to see at each try a little more
of it stick out of
that river, when I saw my poleman
give up the business
suddenly, and stretch himself flat
on the deck, without
even taking the trouble to haul his
pole in. He kept hold
on it though, and it trailed in
the water. At the same
time the fireman, whom I
could also see below
me, sat down abruptly before his
furnace and ducked
his head. I was amazed. Then I
had to look at the
river mighty quick, because there
was a snag in the fairway.
Sticks, little sticks, were
flying about -- thick:
they were whizzing before my
nose, dropping below
me, striking behind me against
my pilot-house. All
this time the river, the shore, the
woods, were very quiet
-- perfectly quiet. I could only
hear the heavy splashing
thump of the stern-wheel
and the patter of these
things. We cleared the snag
clumsily. Arrows, by
Jove! We were being shot at!
I stepped in quickly
to close the shutter on the land-
side. That fool-helmsman,
his hands on the spokes,
was lifting his knees
high, stamping his feet, champing
his mouth, like a reined-in
horse. Confound him! And
we were staggering
within ten feet of the bank. I
had to lean right out
to swing the heavy shutter, and I
saw a face amongst
the leaves on the level with my
own, looking at me
very fierce and steady; and then
suddenly, as though
a veil had been removed from
my eyes, I made out,
deep in the tangled gloom,
naked breasts, arms,
legs, glaring eyes -- the bush was
swarming with human
limbs in movement, glistening,
of bronze colour. The
twigs shook, swayed, and
rustled, the arrows
flew out of them, and then the
shutter came to. 'Steer
her straight,' I said to the
helmsman. He held his
head rigid, face forward; but
his eyes rolled, he
kept on lifting and setting down
his feet gently, his
mouth foamed a little. 'Keep
quiet!' I said in a
fury. I might just as well have
ordered a tree not
to sway in the wind. I darted out.
Below me there was
a great scuffle of feet on the iron
deck; confused exclamations;
a voice screamed, 'Can
you turn back?' I caught
sight of a V-shaped ripple on
the water ahead. What?
Another snag! A fusillade
burst out under my
feet. The pilgrims had opened
with their Winchesters,
and were simply squirting
lead into that bush.
A deuce of a lot of smoke came
up and drove slowly
forward. I swore at it. Now I
couldn't see the ripple
or the snag either. I stood in
the doorway, peering,
and the arrows came in swarms.
They might have been
poisoned, but they looked as
though they wouldn't
kill a cat. The bush began to
howl. Our wood-cutters
raised a warlike whoop; the
report of a rifle just
at my back deafened me. I glanced
over my shoulder, and
the pilot-house was yet full of
noise and smoke when
I made a dash at the wheel.
The fool-nigger had
dropped everything, to throw
the shutter open and
let off that Martini-Henry. He
stood before the wide
opening, glaring, and I yelled
at him to come back,
while I straightened the sudden
twist out of that steamboat.
There was no room to
turn even if I had
wanted to, the snag was somewhere
very near ahead in
that confounded smoke, there was
no time to lose, so
I just crowded her into the bank --
right into the bank,
where I knew the water was deep.
"We tore slowly along
the overhanging bushes in
a whirl of broken twigs
and flying leaves. The fusil-
lade below stopped
short, as I had foreseen it would
when the squirts got
empty. I threw my head back to
a glinting whizz that
traversed the pilot-house, in at
one shutter-hole and
out at the other. Looking past that
mad helmsman, who was
shaking the empty rifle and
yelling at the shore,
I saw vague forms of men run-
ning bent double, leaping,
gliding, distinct, incom-
plete, evanescent.
Something big appeared in the air
before the shutter,
the rifle went overboard, and the
man stepped back swiftly,
looked at me over his
shoulder in an extraordinary,
profound, familiar man-
ner, and fell upon
my feet. The side of his head hit
the wheel twice, and
the end of what appeared a long
cane clattered round
and knocked over a little camp-
stool. It looked as
though after wrenching that thing
from somebody ashore
he had lost his balance in the
effort. The thin smoke
had blown away, we were clear
of the snag, and looking
ahead I could see that in
another hundred yards
or so I would be free to sheer
off, away from the
bank; but my feet felt so very
warm and wet that I
had to look down. The man had
rolled on his back
and stared straight up at me; both
his hands clutched
that cane. It was the shaft of a
spear that, either
thrown or lunged through the open-
ing, had caught him
in the side just below the ribs;
the blade had gone
in out of sight, after making a
frightful gash; my
shoes were full; a pool of blood
lay very still, gleaming
dark-red under the wheel; his
eyes shone with an
amazing lustre. The fusillade burst
out again. He looked
at me anxiously, gripping the
spear like something
precious, with an air of being
afraid I would try
to take it away from him. I had to
make an effort to free
my eyes from his gaze and
attend to the steering.
With one hand I felt above my
head for the line of
the steam whistle, and jerked out
screech after screech
hurriedly. The tumult of angry
and warlike yells was
checked instantly, and then from
the depths of the woods
went out such a tremulous
and prolonged wail
of mournful fear and utter despair
as may be imagined
to follow the flight of the last
hope from the earth.
There was a great commotion in
the bush; the shower
of arrows stopped, a few drop-
ping shots rang out
sharply -- then silence, in which
the languid beat of
the stern-wheel came plainly to
my ears. I put the
helm hard a-starboard at the mo-
ment when the pilgrim
in pink pyjamas, very hot and
agitated, appeared
in the doorway. 'The manager
sends me --' he began
in an official tone, and stopped
short. 'Good God!'
he said, glaring at the wounded
man.
"We two whites
stood over him, and his lustrous
and inquiring glance
enveloped us both. I declare it
looked as though he
would presently put to us some
question in an understandable
language; but he died
without uttering a
sound, without moving a limb,
without twitching a
muscle. Only in the very last
moment, as though in
response to some sign we could
not see, to some whisper
we could not hear, he
frowned heavily, and
that frown gave to his black
death-mask an inconceivably
sombre, brooding, and
menacing expression.
The lustre of inquiring glance
faded swiftly into
vacant glassiness. 'Can you steer?'
I asked the agent eagerly.
He looked very dubious; but
I made a grab at his
arm, and he understood at once
I meant him to steer
whether or no. To tell you the
truth, I was morbidly
anxious to change my shoes and
socks. 'He is dead,'
murmured the fellow, immensely
impressed. 'No doubt
about it,' said I, tugging like
mad at the shoe laces.
'And by the way, I suppose Mr.
Kurtz is dead as well
by this time.'
"For the moment
that was the dominant thought.
There was a sense of
extreme disappointment, as
though I had found
out I had been striving after some-
thing altogether without
a substance. I couldn't have
been more disgusted
if I had travelled all this way
for the sole purpose
of talking with Mr. Kurtz. Talk-
ing with . . . I flung
one shoe overboard, and became
aware that that was
exactly what I had been looking
forward to -- a talk
with Kurtz. I made the strange
discovery that I had
never imagined him as doing,
you know, but as discoursing.
I didn't say to myself,
'Now I will never see
him,' or 'Now I will never shake
him by the hand,' but,
'Now I will never hear him.'
The man presented himself
as a voice. Not of course
that I did not connect
him with some sort of action.
Hadn't I been told
in all the tones of jealousy and
admiration that he
had collected, bartered, swindled,
or stolen more ivory
than all the other agents to-
gether? That was not
the point. The point was in his
being a gifted creature,
and that of all his gifts the
one that stood out
preeminently, that carried with it
a sense of real presence,
was his ability to talk, his
words -- the gift of
expression, the bewildering, the
illuminating, the most
exalted and the most con-
temptible, the pulsating
stream of light, or the deceit-
ful flow from the heart
of an impenetrable darkness.
"The other shoe
went flying unto the devil-god of
that river. I thought,
'By Jove! it's all over. We are
too late; he has vanished
-- the gift has vanished, by
means of some spear,
arrow, or club. I will never hear
that chap speak after
all' -- and my sorrow had a star-
tling extravagance
of emotion, even such as I had
noticed in the howling
sorrow of these savages in the
bush. I couldn't have
felt more of lonely desolation
somehow, had I been
robbed of a belief or had missed
my destiny in lite....
Why do you sigh in this
beastly way, somebody?
Absurd? Well, absurd. Good
Lord! mustn't a man
ever -- Here, give me some
tobacco."...
There was a
pause of profourd stillness, then a
match flared, and Marlow's
lean face appeared, worn,
hollow, with downward
folds and dropped eyelids,
with an aspect of concentrated
abtention; and as he
took vigorous draws
at his pipe, it seemed to retreat
and advance out of
the night in the regular flicker of
tiny flame. The match
went out.
"Absurd!" he
cried. "This is the worst of trying to
tell.... Here you all
are, each moored with two
good addresses, like
a hulk with two anchors, a butcher
round one corner, a
policeman round another, excel-
lent appetites, and
temperature normal -- you hear --
normal from year's
end to year~s end. And you say,
Absurd! Absurd be --
exploded! Absurd! My dear
boys, what can you
expect from a man who out of
sheer nervousness had
just flung overboard a pair of
new shoes! Now I think
of it, it is amazing I did not
shed tears. I am, upon
the whole, proud of my forti-
tude. I was cut to
the quick at the idea of having lost
the inestimable privilege
of listening to the gifted
Kurtz. Of course I
was wrong. The privilege was
waiting for me. Oh,
yes, I heard more than enough.
And I was right, too.
A voice. He was very little more
than a voice. And I
heard -- him -- it -- this voice -- other
voices -- all of them
were so little more than voices --
and the memory of that
time itself lingers around me,
impalpable, like a
dying vibration of one immense
jabber, silly, atrocious,
sordid, savage, or simply mean,
without any kind of
sense. Voices, voices -- even the
girl herself -- now
--"
He was silent
for a long time.
"I laid the
ghost of his gifts at last with a lie," he
began, suddenly. "Girl!
What? Did I mention a girl?
Oh, she is out of it
-- completely. They -- the women
I mean -- are out of
it -- should be out of it. We must
help them to stay in
that beautiful world of their own,
lest ours gets worse.
Oh, she had to be out of it. You
should have heard the
disinterred body of Mr. Kurtz
saying, 'My Intended.'
You would have perceived
directly then how completely
she was out of it. And
the lofty frontal bone
of Mr. Kurtz! They say the
hair goes on growing
sometimes, but this -- ah -- speci-
men, was impressively
bald. The wilderness had
patted him on the head,
and, behold, it was like a ball
-- an ivory ball; it
had caressed him, and -- lo! -- he
had withered; it had
taken him, loved him, embraced
him, got into his veins,
consumed his flesh, and sealed
his soul to its own
by the inconceivable ceremonies of
some devilish initiation.
He was its spoiled and pam-
pered favourite. Ivory?
I should think so. Heaps of
it, stacks of it. The
old mud shanty was bursting with
it. You would think
there was not a single tusk left
either above or below
the ground in the whole
country. 'Mostly fossil,'
the manager had remarked,
disparagingly. It was
no more fossil than I am; but
they call it fossil
when it is dug up. It appears these
niggers do bury the
tusks sometimes -- but evidently
they couldn't bury
this parcel deep enough to save the
gifted Mr. Kurtz from
his fate. We filled the steam-
boat with it, and had
to pile a lot on the deck. Thus
he could see and enjoy
as long as he could see, because
the appreciation of
this favour had remained with him
to the last. You should
have heard him say, 'My
ivory.' Oh, yes, I
heard him. 'My Intended, my ivory,
my station, my river,
my --' everything belonged
to him. It made me
hold my breath in expectation of
hearing the wilderness
burst into a prodigious peal
of laughter that would
shake the fixed stars in their
places. Everything
belonged to him -- but that was a
trifle. The thing was
to know what he belonged to,
how many powers of
darkness claimed him for their
own. That was the reflection
that made you creepy all
over. It was impossible
-- it was not good for one either
-- trying to imagine.
He had taken a high seat amongst
the devils of the land
-- I mean literally. You can't
understand. How could
you? -- with solid pavement
under your feet, surrounded
by kind neighbours
ready to cheer you
or to fall on you, stepping deli-
cately between the
butcher and the policeman, in
the holy terror of
scandal and gallows and lunatic
asylums -- how can
you imagine what particular region
of the first ages a
man's untrammelled feet may take
him into by the way
of solitude -- utter solitude
without a policeman
-- by the way of silence -- utter
silence, where no warning
voice of a kind neighbour
can be heard whispering
of public opinion? These
little things make
all the great difference. When they
are gone you must fall
back upon your own innate
strength, upon your
own capacity for faithfulness. Of
course you may be too
much of a fool to go wrong --
too dull even to know
you are being assulted by the
powers of darkness.
I take it, no fool ever made a
bargain for his soul
with the devil; the fool is too
much of a fool, or
the devil too much of a devil
-- I don't know which.
Or you may be such a
thunderingly exalted
creature as to be altogether
deaf and blind to anything
but heavenly sights and
sounds. Then the earth
for you is only a standing
place -- and whether
to be like this is your loss or
your gain I won't pretend
to say. But most of us are
neither one nor the
other. The earth for us is a
place to live in, where
we must put up with sights,
with sounds, with smells,
too, by Jove! -- breathe
dead hippo, so to speak,
and not be contaminated. And
there, don't you see?
Your strength comes in, the
faith in your ability
for the digging of unostentatious
holes to bury the stuff
in -- your power of devotion,
not to yourself, but
to an obscure back-breaking busi-
ness. And that's difficult
enough. Mind, I am not
trying to excuse or
even explain -- I am trying to ac-
count to myself for
-- for -- Mr. Kurtz -- for the shade
of Mr. Kurtz. This
initiated wraith from the back of
Nowhere honoured me
with its amazing confidence
before it vanished
altogether. This was because it
could speak English
to me. The original Kurtz had
been educated partly
in England, and -- as he was
good enough to say
himself -- his sympathies were in
the right place. His
mother was half-English, his
father was half-French.
All Europe contributed to
the making of Kurtz;
and by and by I learned
that, most appropriately,
the International Society
for the Suppression
of Savage Customs had intrusted
him with the making
of a report, for its future guid-
ance. And he had written
it, too. I've seen it. I've
read it. It was eloquent,
vibrating with eloquence,
but too high-strung,
I think. Seventeen pages of
close writing he had
found time for! But this must
have been before his
-- let us say -- nerves, went
wrong, and caused him
to preside at certain midnight
dances ending with
unspeakable rites, which -- as far
as I reluctantly gathered
from what I heard at various
times -- were offered
up to him -- do you under-
stand? -- to Mr. Kurtz
himself. But it was a beautiful
piece of writing. The
opening paragraph, however,
in the light of later
information, strikes me now as
ominous. He began with
the argument that we whites,
from the point of development
we had arrived at,
'must necessarily appear
to them [savages] in the
nature of supernatural
beings -- we approach them
with the might as of
a deity,' and so on, and so on. 'By
the simple exercise
of our will we can exert a power
for good practically
unbounded,' etc., etc. From that
point he soared and
took me with him. The peroration
was magnificent, though
difficult to remember, you
know. It gave me the
notion of an exotic Immensity
ruled by an august
Benevolence. It made me tingle
with enthusiasm. This
was the unbounded power of
eloquence -- of words
-- of burning noble words. There
were no practical hints
to interrupt the magic current
of phrases, unless
a kind of note at the foot of the last
page, scrawled evidently
much later, in an unsteady
hand, may be regarded
as the exposition of a method.
It was very simple,
and at the end of that moving
appeal to every altruistic
sentiment it blazed at you,
luminous and terrifying,
like a flash of lightning in a
serene sky: 'Exterminate
all the brutes!' The curious
part was that he had
apparently forgotten all about
that valuable postscriptum,
because, later on, when he
in a sense came to
himself, he repeatedly entreated me
to take good care of
'my pamphlet' (he called it), as it
was sure to have in
the future a good influence upon
his career. I had full
information about all these
things, and, besides,
as it turned out, I was to have
the care of his memory.
I've done enough for it to
give me the indisputable
right to lay it, if I choose,
for an everlasting
rest in the dust-bin of progress,
amongst all the sweepings
and, figuratively speaking,
all the dead cats of
civilization. But then, you see, I
can't choose. He won't
be forgotten. Whatever he
was, he was not common.
He had the power to charm
or frighten rudimentary
souls into an aggravated
witch-dance in his
honour; he could also fill the small
souls of the pilgrims
with bitter misgivings: he had
one devoted friend
at least, and he had conquered one
soul in the world that
was neither rudimentary nor
tainted with self-seeking.
No; I can't forget him,
though I am not prepared
to affirm the fellow was
exactly worth the life
we lost in getting to him. I
missed my late helmsman
awfully -- I missed him
even while his body
was still lying in the pilot-house.
Perhaps you will think
it passing strange this regret
for a savage who was
no more account than a grain of
sand in a black Sahara.
Well, don't you see, he had
done something, he
had steered; for months I had
him at my back -- a
help -- an instrument. It was a kind
of partnership. He
steered for me -- I had to look after
him, I worried about
his deficiencies, and thus a subtle
bond had been created,
of which I only became aware
when it was suddenly
broken. And the intimate pro-
fundity of that look
he gave me when he received his
hurt remains to this
day in my memory -- like a claim
of distant kinship
affirmed in a supreme moment.
"Poor fool!
If he had only left that shutter alone.
He had no restraint,
no restraint just like Kurtz -- a
tree swayed by the
wind. As soon as I had put on a dry
pair of slippers, I
dragged him out, after first jerking
the spear out of his
side, which operation I confess I
performed with my eyes
shut tight. His heels leaped
together over the little
doorstep; his shoulders were
pressed to my breast;
I hugged him from behind des-
perately. Oh! he was
heavy, heavy; heavier than any
man on earth, I should
imagine. Then without more
ado I tipped him overboard.
The current snatched
him as though he had
been a wisp of grass, and I saw
the body roll over
twice before I lost sight of it for
ever. All the pilgrims
and the manager were then
congregated on the
awning-deck about the pilot-house,
chattering at each
other like a flock of excited magpies,
and there was a scandalized
murmur at my heartless
promptitude. What they
wanted to keep that body
hanging about for I
can't guess. Embalm it, maybe.
But I had also heard
another, and a very ominous,
murmur on the deck
below. My friends the wood-
cutters were likewise
scandalized, and with a better
show of reason -- though
I admit that the reason itself
was quite inadmissible.
Oh, quite! I had made up my
mind that if my late
helmsman was to be eaten, the
fishes alone should
have him. He had been a very
second-rate helmsman
while alive, but now he was
dead he might have
become a first-class temptation,
and possibly cause
some startling trouble. Besides, I
was anxious to take
the wheel, the man in pink py-
jamas showing himself
a hopeless duffer at the busi-
ness.
"This I did
directly the simple funeral was over.
We were going half-speed,
keeping right in the middle
of the stream, and
I listened to the talk about me.
They had given up Kurtz,
they had given up the
station; Kurtz was
dead, and the station had been
burnt -- and so on
-- and so on. The red-haired pilgrim
was beside himself
with the thought that at least this
poor Kurtz had been
properly avenged. 'Say! We
must have made a glorious
slaughter of them in the
bush. Eh? What do you
think? Say?' He positively
danced, the bloodthirsty
little gingery beggar. And
he had nearly fainted
when he saw the wounded man!
I could not help saying,
'You made a glorious lot of
smoke, anyhow.' I had
seen, from the way the tops
of the bushes rustled
and flew, that almost all the
shots had gone too
high. You can't hit anything unless
you take aim and fire
from the shoulder; but these
chaps fired from the
hip with their eyes shut. The
retreat, I maintained
-- and I was right -- was caused
by the screeching of
the steam whistle. Upon this
they forgot Kurtz,
and began to howl at me with
indignant protests.
"The manager
stood by the wheel murmuring con-
fidentially about the
necessity of getting well away
down the river before
dark at all events, when I saw
in the distance a clearing
on the riverside and the
outlines of some sort
of building. 'What's this?' I
asked. He clapped his
hands in wonder. 'The station!'
he cried. I edged in
at once, still going half-speed.
"Through my
glasses I saw the slope of a hill inter-
spersed with rare trees
and perfectly free from under-
growth. A long decaying
building on the summit was
half buried in the
high grass; the large holes in the
peaked roof gaped black
from afar; the jungle and
the woods made a background.
There was no en-
closure or fence of
any kind; but there had been one
apparently, for near
the house half-a-dozen slim posts
remained in a row,
roughly trimmed, and with their
upper ends ornamented
with round carved balls. The
rails, or whatever
there had been between, had dis-
appeared. Of course
the forest surrounded all that.
The river-bank was
clear, and on the waterside I saw
a white man under a
hat like a cartwheel beckoning
persistently with his
whole arm. Examinig the edge
of the forest above
and below, I was almost certain I
could see movements
-- human forms gliding here and
there. I steamed past
prudently, then stopped the
engines and let her
drift down. The man on the shore
began to shout, urging
us to land. 'We have been at-
tacked,' screamed the
manager. 'I know -- I know. It's
all right,' yelled
back the other, as cheerful as you
please. 'Come along.
It's all right. I am glad.'
"His aspect
reminded me of something I had seen
-- something funny
I had seen somewhere. As I
manoeuvred to get alongside,
I was asking myself,
'What does this fellow
look like?' Suddenly I got it.
He looked like a harlequin.
His clothes had been
made of some stuff
that was brown holland probably,
but it was covered
with patches all over, with bright
patches, blue, red,
and yellow -- patches on the back,
patches on the front,
patches on elbows, on knees;
coloured binding around
his jacket, scarlet edging at
the bottom of his trousers;
and the sunshine made
him look extremely
gay and wonderfully neat withal,
because you could see
how beautifully all this patching
had been done. A beardless,
boyish face, very fair, no
features to speak of,
nose peeling, little blue eyes,
smiles and frowns chasing
each other over that open
countenance like sunshine
and shadow on a wind-
swept plain. 'Look
out, captain!' he cried; 'there's a
snag lodged in here
last night.' What! Another snag?
I confess I swore shamefully.
I had nearly holed my
cripple, to finish
off that charming trip. The harlequin
on the bank turned
his little pug-nose up to me. 'You
English?' he asked,
all smiles. 'Are you?' I shouted
from the wheel. The
smiles vanished, and he shook
his head as if sorry
for my disappointment. Then he
brightened up. 'Never
mind!' he cried encouragingly.
'Are we in time?' I
asked. 'He is up there,' he replied,
with a toss of the
head up the hill, and becoming
gloomy all of a sudden.
His face was like the autumn
sky, overcast one moment
and bright the next.
"When the manager,
escorted by the pilgrims, all
of them armed to the
teeth, had gone to the house
this chap came on board.
'I say, I don't like this.
These natives are in
the bush,' I said. He assured me
earnestly it was all
right. 'They are simple people,' he
added; 'well, I am
glad you came. It took me all my
time to keep them off.'
'But you said it was all right,'
I cried. 'Oh, they
meant no harm,' he said; and as I
stared he corrected
himself, 'Not exactly.' Then viva-
ciously, 'My faith,
your pilot-house wants a clean-up!'
In the next breath
he advised me to keep enough
steam on the boiler
to blow the whistle in case of
any trouble. 'One good
screech will do more for you
than all your rifles.
They are simple people,' he
repeated. He rattled
away at such a rate he quite over-
whelmed me. He seemed
to be trying to make up for
lots of silence, and
actually hinted, laughing, that
such was the case.
'Don't you talk with Mr. Kurtz?' I
said. 'You don't talk
with that man -- you listen to him,'
he exclaimed with severe
exaltation. 'But now --' He
waved his arm, and
in the twinkling of an eye was in
the uttermost depths
of despondency. In a moment he
came up again with
a jump, possessed himself of both
my hands, shook them
continuously, while he
gabbled: 'Brother sailor
. . . honour . . . pleasure
. . . delight . . .introduce
myself . . . Russian . . .
son of an arch-priest
. . . Government of Tambov
. . . What? Tobacco!
English tobacco; the excellent
English tobacco! Now,
that's brotherly. Smoke?
Where's a sailor that
does not smoke?'
"The pipe soothed
him, and gradually I made out
he had run away from
school, had gone to sea in a
Russian ship; ran away
again; served some time in
English ships; was
now reconciled with the arch-
priest. He made a point
of that. 'But when one is
young one must see
things, gather experience, ideas;
enlarge the mind.'
'Here!' I interrupted. 'You can
never tell! Here I
met Mr. Kurtz,' he said, youth
fully solemn and reproachful.
I held my tongue after
that. It appears he
had persuaded a Dutch trading-
house on the coast
to fit him out with stores and goods,
and had started for
the interior with a light heart
and no more idea of
what would happen to him than
a baby. He had been
wandering about that river for
nearly two years alone,
cut off from everybody and
everything. 'I am not
so young as I look. I am twenty-
five,' he said. 'At
first old Van Shuyten would tell me
to go to the devil,'
he narrated with keen enjoyment;
'but I stuck to him,
and talked and talked, till at last
he got afraid I would
talk the hind-leg off his favour-
ite dog, so he gave
me some cheap things and a few
guns, and told me he
hoped he would never see my
face again. Good old
Dutchman, Van Shuyten. I've
sent him one small
lot of ivory a year ago, so that he
can't call me a little
thief when I get back. I hope he
got it. And for the
rest I don't care. I had some wood
stacked for you. That
was my old house. Did you see?'
"I gave him
Towson's book. He made as though he
would kiss me, but
restrained himself. 'The only book
I had left, and I thought
I had lost it,' he said, looking
at it ecstatically.
'So many accidents happen to a man
going about alone,
you know. Canoes get upset some-
times -- and sometimes
you've got to clear out so quick
when the people get
angry.' He thumbed the pages.
'You made notes in
Russian?' I asked. He nodded. 'I
thought they were written
in cipher,' I said. He
laughed, then became
serious. 'I had lots of trouble
to keep these people
off,' he said. 'Did they want to
kill you?' I asked.
'Oh, no!' he cried, and checked
himself. 'Why did they
attack us?' I pursued. He
hesitated, then said
shamefacedly, 'They don't want
him to go.'Don't they?'
I said curiously. He nodded
a nod full of mystery
and wisdom. 'I tell you,' he
cried, 'this man has
enlarged my mind.' He opened
his arms wide, staring
at me with his little blue eyes
that were perfectly
round."
III
"I looked at
him, lost in astonishment. There he
was before me, in motley,
as though he had absconded
from a troupe of mimes,
enthusiastic, fabulous. His
very existence was
improbable, inexplicable, and alto-
gether bewildering.
He was an insoluble problem. It
was inconceivable how
he had existed, how he had
succeeded in getting
so far, how he had managed to
remain -- why he did
not instantly disappear. 'I went
a little farther,'
he said, 'then still a little farther --
till I had gone so
far that I don't know how I'll ever
get back. Never mind.
Plenty time. I can manage.
You take Kurtz away
quick -- quick -- I tell you.' The
glamour of youth enveloped
his parti-coloured rags,
his destitution, his
loneliness, the essential desolation
of his futile wanderings.
For months -- for years -- his
life hadn't been worth
a day's purchase; and there he
was gallantly, thoughtlessly
alive, to all appearance
indestructible solely
by the virtue of his few years and
of his unreflecting
audacity. I was seduced into some-
thing like admiration
-- like envy. Glamour urged him
on, glamour kept him
unscathed. He surely wanted
nothing from the wilderness
but space to breathe in
and to push on through.
His need was to exist, and to
move onwards at the
greatest possible risk, and with
a maximum of privation.
If the absolutely pure, un-
calculating, unpractical
spirit of adventure had ever
ruled a human being,
it ruled this bepatched youth.
I almost envied him
the possession of this modest and
clear flame. It seemed
to have consumed all thought
of self so completely,
that even while he was talking
to you, you forgot
that it was he -- the man before
your eyes -- who had
gone through these things. I
did not envy him his
devotion to Kurtz, though. He
had not meditated over
it. It came to him, and he ac-
cepted it with a sort
of eager fatalism. I must say that
to me it appeared about
the most dangerous thing in
every way he had come
upon so far.
"They had come
together unavoidably, like two
ships becalmed near
each other, and lay rubbing sides
at last. I suppose
Kurtz wanted an audience, because
on a certain occasion,
when encamped in the forest,
they had talked all
night, or more probably Kurtz
had talked. 'We talked
of everything,' he said, quite
transported at the
recollection. 'I forgot there was
such a thing as sleep.
The night did not seem to last
an hour. Everything!
Everything! . . . Of love,
too.' 'Ah, he talked
to you of love!' I said, much
amused. 'It isn't what
you think,' he cried, almost
passionately. 'It was
in general. He made me see
things -- things.'
"He threw his
arms up. We were on deck at the
time, and the headman
of my wood cutters, lounging
near by, turned upon
him his heavy and glittering
eyes. I looked around,
and I don't know why, but I
assure you that never,
never before, did this land,
this river, this jungle,
the very arch of this blazing
sky, appear to me so
hopeless and so dark, so impene-
trable to human thought,
so pitiless to human weak-
ness. 'And, ever since,
you have been with him, of
course?' I said.
"On the contrary.
It appears their intercourse had
been very much broken
by various causes. He had, as
he informed me proudly,
managed to nurse Kurtz
through two illnesses
(he alluded to it as you would
to some risky feat),
but as a rule Kurtz wandered
alone, far in the depths
of the forest. 'Very often
coming to this station,
I had to wait days and days
before he would turn
up,' he said. 'Ah, it was worth
waiting for! -- sometimes.'
'What was he doing? ex-
ploring or what?' I
asked. 'Oh, yes, of course', he
had discovered lots
of villages, a lake, too -- he did not
know exactly in what
direction; it was dangerous to
inquire too much --
but mostly his expeditions had
been for ivory. 'But
he had no goods to trade with by
that time,' I objected.
'There's a good lot of cartridges
left even yet,' he
answered, looking away. 'To speak
plainly, he raided
the country,' I said. He nodded.
'Not alone, surely!'
He muttered something about
the villages round
that lake. 'Kurtz got the tribe to
follow him, did he?'
I suggested. He fidgeted a little.
'They adored him,'
he said. The tone of these words
was so extraordinary
that I looked at him searchingly.
It was curious to see
his mingled eagerness and reluc-
tance to speak of Kurtz.
The man filled his life, occu-
pied his thoughts,
swayed his emotions. 'What can
you expect?' he burst
out; 'he came to them with
thunder and lightning,
you know -- and they had never
seen anything like
it -- and very terrible. He could be
very terrible. You
can't judge Mr. Kurtz as you
would an ordinary man.
No, no, no! Now -- just to
give you an idea --
I don't mind telling you, he wanted
to shoot me, too, one
day -- but I don't judge him.'
'Shoot you!' I cried
'What for?' 'Well, I had a small
lot of ivory the chief
of that village near my house
gave me. You see I
used to shoot game for them.
Well, he wanted it,
and wouldn't hear reason. He
declared he would shoot
me unless I gave him the
ivory and then cleared
out of the country, because
he could do so, and
had a fancy for it, and there was
nothing on earth to
prevent him killing whom he
jolly well pleased.
And it was true, too. I gave him
the ivory. What did
I care! But I didn't clear out.
No, no. I couldn't
leave him. I had to be careful,
of course, till we
got friendly again for a time. He
had his second illness
then. Afterwards I had to
keep out of the way;
but I didn't mind. He was
living for the most
part in those villages on the lake.
When he came down to
the river, sometimes he would
take to me, and sometimes
it was better for me to be
careful. This man suffered
too much. He hated all
this, and somehow he
couldn't get away. When I had
a chance I begged him
to try and leave while there was
time; I offered to
go back with him. And he would
say yes, and then he
would remain; go off on another
ivory hunt; disappear
for weeks; forget himself
amongst these people
-- forget himself -- you know.'
'Why! he's mad,' I
said. He protested indignantly.
Mr. Kurtz couldn't
be mad. If I hald heard him talk,
only two days ago,
I wouldn't dare hint at such a
thing. . . . I had
taken up my binoculars while we
talked, and was looking
at the shore, sweeping the
limit of the forest
at each side and at the back of the
house. The consciousness
of there being people in that
bush, so silent, so
quiet -- as silent and quiet as the
ruined house on the
hill -- made me uneasy. There was
no sign on the face
of nature of this amazing tale that
was not so much told
as suggested to me in desolate
exclamations, completed
by shrugs, in interrupted
phrases, in hints ending
in deep sighs. The woods
were unmoved, like
a mask -- heavy, like the closed
door of a prison --
they looked with their air of hidden
knowledge, of patient
expectation, of unapproachable
silence. The Russian
was explaining to me that it was
only lately that Mr.
Kurtz had come down to the
river, bringing along
with him all the fighting men
of that lake tribe.
He had been absent for several
months -- getting himself
adored, I suppose -- and had
come down unexpectedly,
with the intention to all
appearance of making
a raid either across the river or
down stream. Evidently
the appetite for more ivory
had got the better
of the -- what shall I say? -- less
material aspirations.
However he had got much worse
suddenly. 'I heard
he was l
engines and let her
drift down. The man on the shore
began to shout, urging
us to land. 'We have been at-
tacked,' screamed the
manager. 'I know -- I know. It's
all right,' yelled
back the other, as cheerful as you
please. 'Come along.
It's all right. I am glad.'
"His aspect
reminded me of something I had seen
-- something funny
I had seen somewhere. As I
manoeuvred to get alongside,
I was asking myself,
'What does this fellow
look like?' Suddenly I got it.
He looked like a harlequin.
His clothes had been
made of some stuff
that was brown holland probably,
but it was covered
with patches all over, with bright
patches, blue, red,
and yellow -- patches on the back,
patches on the front,
patches on elbows, on knees;
coloured binding around
his jacket, scarlet edging at
the bottom of his trousers;
and the sunshine made
him look extremely
gay and wonderfully neat withal,
because you could see
how beautifully all this patching
had been done. A beardless,
boyish face, very fair, no
features to speak of,
nose peeling, little blue eyes,
smiles and frowns chasing
each other over that open
countenance like sunshine
and shadow on a wind-
swept plain. 'Look
out, captain!' he cried; 'there's a
snag lodged in here
last night.' What! Another snag?
I confess I swore shamefully.
I had nearly holed my
cripple, to finish
off that charming trip. The harlequin
on the bank turned
his little pug-nose up to me. 'You
English?' he asked,
all smiles. 'Are you?' I shouted
from the wheel. The
smiles vanished, and he shook
his head as if sorry
for my disappointment. Then he
brightened up. 'Never
mind!' he cried encouragingly.
'Are we in time?' I
asked. 'He is up there,' he replied,
with a toss of the
head up the hill, and becoming
gloomy all of a sudden.
His face was like the autumn
sky, overcast one moment
and bright the next.
"When the manager,
escorted by the pilgrims, all
of them armed to the
teeth, had gone to the house
this chap came on board.
'I say, I don't like this.
These natives are in
the bush,' I said. He assured me
earnestly it was all
right. 'They are simple people,' he
added; 'well, I am
glad you came. It took me all my
time to keep them off.'
'But you said it was all right,'
I cried. 'Oh, they
meant no harm,' he said; and as I
stared he corrected
himself, 'Not exactly.' Then viva-
ciously, 'My faith,
your pilot-house wants a clean-up!'
In the next breath
he advised me to keep enough
steam on the boiler
to blow the whistle in case of
any trouble. 'One good
screech will do more for you
than all your rifles.
They are simple people,' he
repeated. He rattled
away at such a rate he quite over-
whelmed me. He seemed
to be trying to make up for
lots of silence, and
actually hinted, laughing, that
such was the case.
'Don't you talk with Mr. Kurtz?' I
said. 'You don't talk
with that man -- you listen to him,'
he exclaimed with severe
exaltation. 'But now --' He
waved his arm, and
in the twinkling of an eye was in
the uttermost depths
of despondency. In a moment he
came up again with
a jump, possessed himself of both
my hands, shook them
continuously, while he
gabbled: 'Brother sailor
. . . honour . . . pleasure
. . . delight . . .introduce
myself . . . Russian . . .
son of an arch-priest
. . . Government of Tambov
. . . What? Tobacco!
English tobacco; the excellent
English tobacco! Now,
that's brotherly. Smoke?
Where's a sailor that
does not smoke?'
"The pipe soothed
him, and gradually I made out
he had run away from
school, had gone to sea in a
Russian ship; ran away
again; served some time in
English ships; was
now reconciled with the arch-
priest. He made a point
of that. 'But when one is
young one must see
things, gather experience, ideas;
enlarge the mind.'
'Here!' I interrupted. 'You can
never tell! Here I
met Mr. Kurtz,' he said, youth
fully solemn and reproachful.
I held my tongue after
that. It appears he
had persuaded a Dutch trading-
house on the coast
to fit him out with stores and goods,
and had started for
the interior with a light heart
and no more idea of
what would happen to him than
a baby. He had been
wandering about that river for
nearly two years alone,
cut off from everybody and
everything. 'I am not
so young as I look. I am twenty-
five,' he said. 'At
first old Van Shuyten would tell me
to go to the devil,'
he narrated with keen enjoyment;
'but I stuck to him,
and talked and talked, till at last
he got afraid I would
talk the hind-leg off his favour-
ite dog, so he gave
me some cheap things and a few
guns, and told me he
hoped he would never see my
face again. Good old
Dutchman, Van Shuyten. I've
sent him one small
lot of ivory a year ago, so that he
can't call me a little
thief when I get back. I hope he
got it. And for the
rest I don't care. I had some wood
stacked for you. That
was my old house. Did you see?'
"I gave him
Towson's book. He made as though he
would kiss me, but
restrained himself. 'The only book
I had left, and I thought
I had lost it,' he said, looking
at it ecstatically.
'So many accidents happen to a man
going about alone,
you know. Canoes get upset some-
times -- and sometimes
you've got to clear out so quick
when the people get
angry.' He thumbed the pages.
'You made notes in
Russian?' I asked. He nodded. 'I
thought they were written
in cipher,' I said. He
laughed, then became
serious. 'I had lots of trouble
to keep these people
off,' he said. 'Did they want to
kill you?' I asked.
'Oh, no!' he cried, and checked
himself. 'Why did they
attack us?' I pursued. He
hesitated, then said
shamefacedly, 'They don't want
him to go.'Don't they?'
I said curiously. He nodded
a nod full of mystery
and wisdom. 'I tell you,' he
cried, 'this man has
enlarged my mind.' He opened
his arms wide, staring
at me with his little blue eyes
that were perfectly
round."
III
"I looked at
him, lost in astonishment. There he
was before me, in motley,
as though he had absconded
from a troupe of mimes,
enthusiastic, fabulous. His
very existence was
improbable, inexplicable, and alto-
gether bewildering.
He was an insoluble problem. It
was inconceivable how
he had existed, how he had
succeeded in getting
so far, how he had managed to
remain -- why he did
not instantly disappear. 'I went
a little farther,'
he said, 'then still a little farther --
till I had gone so
far that I don't know how I'll ever
get back. Never mind.
Plenty time. I can manage.
You take Kurtz away
quick -- quick -- I tell you.' The
glamour of youth enveloped
his parti-coloured rags,
his destitution, his
loneliness, the essential desolation
of his futile wanderings.
For months -- for years -- his
life hadn't been worth
a day's purchase; and there he
was gallantly, thoughtlessly
alive, to all appearance
indestructible solely
by the virtue of his few years and
of his unreflecting
audacity. I was seduced into some-
thing like admiration
-- like envy. Glamour urged him
on, glamour kept him
unscathed. He surely wanted
nothing from the wilderness
but space to breathe in
and to push on through.
His need was to exist, and to
move onwards at the
greatest possible risk, and with
a maximum of privation.
If the absolutely pure, un-
calculating, unpractical
spirit of adventure had ever
ruled a human being,
it ruled this bepatched youth.
I almost envied him
the possession of this modest and
clear flame. It seemed
to have consumed all thought
of self so completely,
that even while he was talking
to you, you forgot
that it was he -- the man before
your eyes -- who had
gone through these things. I
did not envy him his
devotion to Kurtz, though. He
had not meditated over
it. It came to him, and he ac-
cepted it with a sort
of eager fatalism. I must say that
to me it appeared about
the most dangerous thing in
every way he had come
upon so far.
"They had come
together unavoidably, like two
ships becalmed near
each other, and lay rubbing sides
at last. I suppose
Kurtz wanted an audience, because
on a certain occasion,
when encamped in the forest,
they had talked all
night, or more probably Kurtz
had talked. 'We talked
of everything,' he said, quite
transported at the
recollection. 'I forgot there was
such a thing as sleep.
The night did not seem to last
an hour. Everything!
Everything! . . . Of love,
too.' 'Ah, he talked
to you of love!' I said, much
amused. 'It isn't what
you think,' he cried, almost
passionately. 'It was
in general. He made me see
things -- things.'
"He threw his
arms up. We were on deck at the
time, and the headman
of my wood cutters, lounging
near by, turned upon
him his heavy and glittering
eyes. I looked around,
and I don't know why, but I
assure you that never,
never before, did this land,
this river, this jungle,
the very arch of this blazing
sky, appear to me so
hopeless and so dark, so impene-
trable to human thought,
so pitiless to human weak-
ness. 'And, ever since,
you have been with him, of
course?' I said.
"On the contrary.
It appears their intercourse had
been very much broken
by various causes. He had, as
he informed me proudly,
managed to nurse Kurtz
through two illnesses
(he alluded to it as you would
to some risky feat),
but as a rule Kurtz wandered
alone, far in the depths
of the forest. 'Very often
coming to this station,
I had to wait days and days
before he would turn
up,' he said. 'Ah, it was worth
waiting for! -- sometimes.'
'What was he doing? ex-
ploring or what?' I
asked. 'Oh, yes, of course', he
had discovered lots
of villages, a lake, too -- he did not
know exactly in what
direction; it was dangeroorway; I
stepped out at once
and he drew the curtain after me.
The Russian, eyed curiously
by the pilgrims, was star-
ing at the shore. I
followed the direction of his glance.
"Dark human
shapes could be made out in the dis-
tance, flitting indistinctly
against the gloomy border
of the forest, and
near the river two bronze figures,
leaning on tall spears,
stood in the sunlight under fan-
tastic head-dresses
of spotted skins, warlike and still in
statuesque repose.
And from right to left along the
lighted shore moved
a wild and gorgeous apparition
of a woman.
"She walked
with measured steps, draped in striped
and fringed clothes,
treading the earth proudly, with
a slight jingle and
flash of barbarous ornaments. She
carried her head high;
her hair was done in the shape
of a helmet; she had
brass leggings to the knee, brass
wire gauntlets to the
elbow, a crimson spot on her
tawny cheek, innumerable
necklaces of glass beads on
her neck; bizarre things,
charms, gifts of witch-men,
that hung about her,
glittered and trembled at every
step. She must have
had the value of several elephant
tusks upon her. She
was savage and superb, wild-eyed
and magnificent; there
was something ominous and
stately in her deliberate
progress. And in the hush
that had fallen suddenly
upon the whole sorrowful
land, the immense wilderness,
the colossal body of the
fecund and mysterious
life seemed to look at her,
pensive, as though
it had been looking at the image of
its own tenebrous and
passionate soul.
"She came abreast
of the steamer, stood still, and
faced us. Her long
shadow fell to the water's edge.
Her face had a tragic
and fierce aspect of wild sorrow
and of dumb pain mingled
with the fear of some
struggling, half-shaped
resolve. She stood looking at
us without a stir,
and like the wilderness itself, with an
air of brooding over
an inscrutable purpose. A whole
minute passed, and
then she made a step forward.
There was a low jingle,
a glint of yellow metal, a
sway of fringed draperies,
and she stopped as if her
heart had failed her.
The young fellow by my side
growled. The pilgrims
murmured at my back. She
looked at us all as
if her life had depended upon the
unswerving steadiness
of her glance. Suddenly she
opened her bared arms
and threw them up rigid
above her head, as
though in an uncontrollable desire
to touch the sky, and
at the same time the swift shad-
ows darted out on the
earth, swept around on the
river, gathering the
steamer into a shadowy embrace.
A formidable silence
hung over the scene.
"She turned
away slowly, walked on, following the
bank, and passed into
the bushes to the left. Once
only her eyes gleamed
back at us in the dusk of the
thickets before she
disappeared.
" 'If she had
offered to come aboard I really think
I would have tried
to shoot her,' said the man of
patches, nervously.
'I have been risking my life every
day for the last fortnight
to keep her out of the house.
She got in one day
and kicked up a row about those
miserable rags I picked
up in the storeroom to mend
my clothes with. I
wasn't decent. At least it must have
been that, for she
talked like a fury to Kurtz for an
hour, pointing at me
now and then. I don't under-
stand the dialect of
this tribe. Luckily for me, I fancy
Kurtz felt too ill
that day to care, or there would have
been mischief. I don't
understand.... No -- it's too
much for me. Ah, well,
it's all over now.'
"At this moment
I heard Kurtz's deep voice behind
the curtain: 'Save
me! -- save the ivory, you mean.
Don't tell me. Save
me! Why, I've had to save you.
You are interrupting
my plans now. Sick! Sick! Not
so sick as you would
like to believe. Never mind. I'll
carry my ideas out
yet -- I will return. I'll show you
what can be done. You
with your little peddling no-
tions -- you are interfering
with me. I will return.
I....'
"The manager
came out. He did me the honour to
take me under the arm
and lead me aside. 'He is very
low, very low,' he
said. He considered it necessary to
sigh, but neglected
to be consistently sorrowful. 'We
have done all we could
for him -- haven't we? But
there is no disguising
the fact, Mr. Kurtz has done
more harm than good
to the Company. He did not
see the time was not
ripe for vigorous action. Cau-
tiously, cautiously
-- that's my principle. We must be
cautious yet. The district
is closed to us for a time.
Deplorable! Upon the
whole, the trade will suffer.
I don't deny there
is a remarkable quantity of ivory --
mostly fossil. We must
save it, at all events -- but look
how precarious the
position is -- and why? Because themethod is unsound.' '
Do you,' said I, looking
at the, 'call it "unsound method?" ' 'Without doubt,'
he exclaimed hotly.
'Don't you?' . . . 'No method at
all,' I murmured after
a while. 'Exactly,' he exulted.
'I anticipated this.
Shows a complete want of judg-
ment. It is my duty
to point it out in the proper quar-
ter.' 'Oh,' said I,
'that fellow -- what's his name? -- the
brickmaker, will make
a readable report for you.' He
appeared confounded
for a moment. It seemed to me
I had never breathed
an atmosphere so vile, and I
turned mentally to
Kurtz for relief -- positively for
relief. 'Nevertheless
I think Mr. Kurtz is a remark-
able man,' I said with
emphasis. He started, dropped
on me a cold heavy
glance, said very quietly, 'he was~
and turned his back
on me. My hour of favour was
over; I found myself
lumped along with Kurtz as a
partisan of methods
for which the time was not ripe:
I was unsound! Ah!
but it was something to have at
least a choice of nightmares.
"I had turned
to the wilderness really, not to Mr.
Kurtz, who, I was ready
to admit, was as good as
buried. And for a moment
it seemed to me as if I also
were buried in a vast
grave full of unspeakable secrets.
I felt an intolerable
weight oppressing my breast, the
smell of the damp earth,
the unseen presence of vic-
torious corruption,
the darkness of an impenetrable
night.... The Russian
tapped me on the shoulder.
I heard him mumbling
and stammering something
about 'brother seaman
-- couldn't conceal -- knowledge
of matters that would
affect Mr. Kurtz's reputation.'
I waited. For him evidently
Mr. Kurtz was not in his
grave; I suspect that
for him Mr. Kuutz was one of
the immortals. 'Well!'
said I at last, 'speak out. As it
happens, I am Mr. Kurtz's
friend -- in a way.'
"He stated with
a good deal of formality that had
we not been 'of the
same profession,' he would have
kept the matter to
himself without regard to conse-
quences. 'He suspected
there was an active ill will to-
wards him on the part
of these white men that --'
'You are right,' I
said, remembering a certain conver-
sation I had overheard.
'The manager thinks you
ought to be hanged.'
He showed a concern at this
intelligence which
amused me at first. 'I had better
get out of the way
quietly,' he said earnestly. 'I can do
no more for Kurtz now,
and they would soon find
some excuse. What's
to stop them? There's a military
post three hundred
miles from here.' 'Well, upon my
word,' said I, 'perhaps
you had better go if you have
any friends amongst
the savages near by.' 'Plenty,' he
said. 'They are simple
people -- and I want nothing,
you know.' He stood
biting his lip, then: 'I didn't want
any harm to happen
to these whites here, but of course
I was thinking of Mr.
Kurtz's reputation -- but you
are a brother seaman
and --' 'All right,' said I, after
a time. 'Mr. Kurtz's
reputation is safe with me.' I did
not know how truly
I spoke.
"He informed
me, lowering his voice, that it was
Kurtz who had ordered
the attack to be made on the
steamer. 'He hated
sometimes the idea of being taken
away -- and then again....
But I don't understand
these matters. I am
a simple man. He thought it
would scare you away
-- that you would give it up,
thinking him dead.
I could not stop him. Oh, I had an
awful time of it this
last month.' 'Very well,' I said.
'He is all right now.'
'Ye-e-es,' he muttered, not very
convinced apparently.
'Thanks,' said I; 'I shall keep
my eyes open.' 'But
quiet -- eh?' he urged anxiously.
'It would be awful
for his reputation if anybody
here --' I promised
a complete discretion with great
gravity. 'I have a
canoe and three black fellows wait-
ing not very far. I
am off. Could you give me a few
Martini-Henry cartridges?'
I could, and did, with
proper secrecy. He
helped himself, with a wink at me,
to a handful of my
tobacco. 'Between sailors -- you
know -- good English
tobacco.' At the door of the
pilot-house he turned
round -- 'I say, haven't you a
pair of shoes you could
spare?' He raised one leg.
'Look' The soles were
tied with knotted strings san-
dalwise under his bare
feet. I rooted out an old pair,
at which he looked
with admiration before tucking it
under his left arm.
One of his pockets (bright red)
was bulging with cartridges,
from the other (dark
blue) peeped 'Towson's
Inquiry,' ctc., etc. He seemed
to think himself excellently
well equipped for a re-
newed encounter with
the wilderness. 'Ah! I'll never,
never meet such a man
again. You ought to have
heard him recite poetry
-- his own, too, it was, he told
me. Poetry!' He rolled
his eyes at the recollection of
these delights. 'Oh,
he enlarged my mind!' 'Good-
bye,' said I. He shook
hands and vanished in the
night. Sometimes I
ask myself whether I had ever
really seen him --
whether it was possible to meet such
a phenomenon! . . .
"When I woke
up shortly after midnight his warn-
ing came to my mind
with its hint of danger that
seemed, in the starred
darkness, real enough to make
me get up for the purpose
of having a look round. On
the hill a big fire
burned, illuminating fitfully a
crooked corner of the
station-house. One of the agents
with a picket of a
few of our blacks, armed for the
purpose, was keeping
guard over the ivory; but deep
within the forest,
red gleams that wavered, that
seemed to sink and
rise from the ground amongst
confused columnar shapes
of intense blackness, showed
the exact position
of the camp where Mr. Kurtz's
adorers were keeping
their uneasy vigil. The monoto-
nous beating of a big
drum filled the air with muf-
fled shocks and a lingering
vibration. A steady
droning sound of many
men chanting each to himself
some weird incantation
came out from the black, flat
wall of the woods as
the humming of bees comes out
of a hive, and had
a strange narcotic effect upon my
half-awake senses.
I believe I dozed off leaning over
the rail, till an abrupt
burst of yells, an overwhelming
outbreak of a pent-up
and mysterious frenzy, woke me
up in a bewildered
wonder. It was cut short all at
once, and the low droning
went on with an effect of
audible and soothing
silence. I glanced casually into
the little cabin. A
light was burning within, but Mr.
Kurtz was not there.
"I think I would
have raised an outcry if I had
believed my eyes. But
I didn't believe them at first --
the thing seemed so
impossible. The fact is I was com-
pletely unnerved by
a sheer blank fright, pure abstract
terror, unconnected
with any distinct shape of physical
danger. What made this
emotion so overpowering
was -- how shall I
define it? -- the moral shock I re-
ceived, as if something
altogether monstrous, intoler-
able to thought and
odious to the soul, had been
thrust upon me unexpectedly.
This lasted of course
the merest fraction
of a second, and then the usual
sense of commonplace,
deadly danger, the possibility
of a sudden onslaught
and massacre, or something of
the kind, which I saw
impending, was positively wel-
come and composing.
It pacified me, in fact, so much
that I did not raise
an alarm.
"There was an
agent buttoned up inside an ulster
and sleeping on a chair
on deck within three feet of
me. The yells had not
awakened him; he snored very
slightly; I left him
to his slumbers and leaped ashore.
I did not betray Mr.
Kurtz -- it was ordered I should
never betray him --
it was written I should be loyal to
the nightmare of my
choice. I was anxious to deal
with this shadow by
myself alone -- and to this day I
don't know why I was
so jealous of sharing with any
one the peculiar blackness
of that experience.
"As soon as
I got on the bank I saw a trail -- a broad
trail through the grass.
I remember the exultation
with which I said to
myself, 'He can't walk -- he is
crawling on all-fours
-- I've got him.' The grass was
wet with dew. I strode
rapidly with clenched fists. I
fancy I had some vague
notion of falling upon him
and giving him a drubbing.
I don't know. I had some
imbecile thoughts.
The knitting old woman with the
cat obtruded herself
upon my memory as a most im-
proper person to be
sitting at the other end of such an
affair. I saw a row
of pilgrims squirting lead in the air
out of Winchesters
held to the hip. I thought I would
never get back to the
steamer, and imagined myself
living alone and unarmed
in the woods to an advanced
age. Such silly things
-- you know. And I remember I
confounded the beat
of the drum with the beating of
my heart, and was pleased
at its calm regularity.
"I kept to the
track though -- then stopped to listen.
The night was very
clear; a dark blue space, sparkling
with dew and starlight,
in which black things stood
very still. I thought
I could see a kind of motion
ahead of me. I was
strangely cocksure of everything
that night. I actually
left the track and ran in a wide
semicircle (I verily
believe chuckling to myself) so as
to get in front of
that stir, of that motion I had seen
-- if indeed I had
seen anything. I was circumventing
Kurtz as though it
had been a boyish game.
"I came upon
him, and, if he had not heard me
coming, I would have
fallen over him, too, but he got
up in time. He rose,
unsteady, long, pale, indistinct,
like a vapour exhaled
by the earth, and swayed
slightly, misty and
silent before me; while at my back
the fires loomed between
the trees, and the murmur
of many voices issued
from the forest. I had cut him
off cleverly; but when
actually confronting him I
seemed to come to my
senses, I saw the danger in its
right proportion. It
was by no means over yet. Sup-
pose he began to shout?
Though he could hardly
stand, there was still
plenty of vigour in his voice. 'Go
away -- hide yourself,'
he said, in that profound tone.
It was very awful.
I glanced back. We were within
thirty yards from the
nearest fire. A black figure stood
up, strode on long
black legs, waving long black arms,
across the glow. It
had horns -- antelope horns, I think
-- on its head. Some
sorcerer, some witch-man, no
doubt: it looked fiendlike
enough. 'Do you know what
you are doing?' I whispered.
'Perfectly,' he answered,
raising his voice for
that single word: it sounded to me
far off and yet loud,
like a hail through a speaking-
trumpet. 'If he makes
a row we are lost,' I thought to
myself. This clearly
was not a case for fisticuffs, even
apart from the very
natural aversion I had to beat
that Shadow -- this
wandering and tormented thing.
'You will be lost,'
I said -- 'utterly lost.' One gets
sometimes such a flash
of inspiration, you know. I did
say the right thing,
though indeed he could not have
been more irretrievably
lost than he was at this very
moment, when the foundations
of our intimacy were
being laid -- to endure
-- to endure -- even to the end --
even beyond.
" 'I had irnmense
plans,' he muttered irresolutely.
'Yes,' said I; 'but
if you try to shout I'll smash your
head with --' There
was not a stick or a stone near.
'I will throttle you
for good,' I corrected myself. 'I
was on the threshold
of great things,' he pleaded, in a
voice of longing, with
a wistfulness of tone that made
my blood run cold.
'And now for this stupid scoun-
drel --' 'Your success
in Europe is assured in any
case,' I affirmed steadily,
I did not want to have the
throttling of him,
you understand -- and indeed it
would have been very
little use for any practical pur-
pose. I tried to break
the spell -- the heavy, mute spell
of the wilderness --
that seemed to draw him to its
pitiless breast by
the awakening of forgotten and
brutal instincts, by
the memory of gratified and mon-
strous passions. This
alone, I was convinced, had
driven him out to the
edge of the forest, to the bush,
towards the gleam of
fires, the throb of drums, the
drone of weird incantations;
this alone had beguiled
his unlawful soul beyond
the bounds of permitted
aspirations. And, don't
you see, the terror of the posi-
tion was not in being
knocked on the head -- though I
had a very lively sense
of that danger, too -- but in
this, that I had to
deal with a being to whom I could
not appeal in the name
of anything high or low. I had,
even like the niggers,
to invoke him -- himself -- his
own exalted and incredible
degradation. There was
nothing either above
or below him, and I knew it. He
had kicked himself
loose of the earth. Confound the
man! he had kicked
the very earth to pieces. He was
alone, and I before
him did not know whether I stood
on the ground or floated
in the air. I've been telling
you what we said --
repeating the phrases we pro-
nounced -- but what's
the good? They were common
everyday words -- the
familiar, vague sounds ex-
changed on every waking
day of life. But what of
that? They had behind
them, to my mind, the terrific
suggestiveness of words
heard in dreams, of phrases
spoken in nightmares.
Soul! If anybody ever struggled
with a soul, I am the
man. And I wasn't arguing with
a lunatic either. Believe
me or not, his intelligence was
perfectly clear concentrated,
it is true, upon himself
with horrible intensity,
yet clear; and therein was my
only chance -- barring,
of course, the killing him there
and then, which wasn't
so good, on account of un-
avoidable noise. But
his soul was mad. Being alone in
the wilderness, it
had looked within itself, and, by
heavens! I tell you,
it had gone mad. I had -- for my
sins, I suppose --
to go through the ordeal of looking
into it myself. No
eloquence could have been so
withering to one's
belief in mankind as his final burst
of sincerity. He struggled
with himself, too. I saw it --
I heard it. I saw the
inconceivable mystery of a soul
that knew no restraint,
no faith, and no fear, yet strug-
gling blindly with
itself. I kept my head pretty well;
but when I had him
at last stretched on the couch, I
wiped my forehead,
while my legs shook under me as
though I had carried
half a ton on my back down that
hill. And yet I had
only supported him, his bony arm
clasped round my neck
-- and he was not much heavier
than a child.
"When next day
we left at noon, the crowd, of
whose presence behind
the curtain of trees I had been
acutely conscious all
the time, flowed out of the woods
again, filled the clearing,
covered the slope with a
mass of naked, breathing,
quivering, bronze bodies. I
steamed up a bit, then
swung down stream, and two
thousand eyes followed
the evolutions of the splash-
ing, thumping, fierce
river-demon beating the water
with its terrible tail
and breathing black smoke into
the air. In front of
the first rank, along the river,
three men, plastered
with bright red earth from head
to foot, strutted to
and fro restlessly. When we came
abreast again, they
faced the river, stamped their feet,
nodded their horned
heads, swayed their scarlet bod-
ies; they shook towards
the fierce river-demon a
bunch of black feathers,
a mangy skin with a pendent
tail -- something that
looked like a dried gourd; they
shouted periodically
together strings of amazing words
that resembled no sounds
of human language; and
the deep murmurs of
the crowd, interrupted sud-
denly, were like the
responses of some satanic litany.
"We had carried
Kurtz into the pilot-house: there
was more air there.
Lying on the couch, he stared
through the open shutter.
There was an eddy in the
mass of human bodies,
and the woman with helmeted
head and tawny cheeks
rushed out to the very brink
of the stream. She
put out her hands, shouted some-
thing, and all that
wild mob took up the shout in a
roaring chorus of articulated,
rapid, breathless ut-
terance.
" 'Do you understand
this?' I asked.
"He kept on
looking out past me with fiery, long-
ing eyes, with a mingled
expression of wistfulness and
hate. He made no answer,
but I saw a smile, a smile of
indefinable meaning,
appearing on his colourless lips
that a moment after
twitched convulsively. 'Do I
not?' he said slowly,
gasping, as if the words had been
torn out of him by
a supernatural power.
"I pulled the
string of the whistle, and I did this
because I saw the pilgrims
on deck getting out their
rifles with an air
of anticipating a jolly lark. At the
sudden screech there
was a movement of abject terror
through that wedged
mass of bodies. 'Don't! don't you
frighten them away,'
cried some one on deck discon-
solately. I pulled
the string time after time. They
broke and ran, they
leaped, they crouched, they
swerved, they dodged
the flying terror of the sound.
The three red chaps
had fallen flat, face down on the
shore, as though they
had been shot dead. Only the
barbarous and superb
woman did not so much as
flinch, and stretched
tragically her bare arms after us
over the sombre and
glittering river.
"And then that
imbecile crowd down on the deck
started their little
fun, and I could see nothing more
for smoke.
"The brown current
ran swiftly out of the heart of
darkness, bearing us
down towards the sea with twice
the speed of our upward
progress; and Kurtz's life
was running swiftly,
too, ebbing, ebbing out of his
heart into the sea
of inexorable time. The manager
was very placid, he
had no vital anxieties now, he took
us both in with a comprehensive
and satisfied glance:
the 'affair' had come
off as well as could be wished. I
saw the time approaching
when I would be left alone
of the party of 'unsound
method.' The pilgrims
looked upon me with
disfavour. I was, so to speak,
numbered with the dead.
It is strange how I accepted
this unforeseen partnership,
this choice of nightmares
forced upon me in the
tenebrous land invaded by
these mean and greedy
phantoms.
"Kurtz discoursed.
A voice! a voice! It rang deep to
the very last. It survived
his strength to hide in the
magnificent folds of
eloquence the barren darkness of
his heart. Oh, he struggled!
he struggled! The wastes
of his weary brain
were haunted by shadowy images
now -- images of wealth
and fame revolving obse-
quiously round his
unextinguishable gift of noble and
lofty expression. My
Intended, my station, my career,
my ideas -- these were
the subjects for the occasional
utterances of elevated
sentiments. The shade of the
original Kurtz frequented
the bedside of the hollow
sham, whose fate it
was to be buried presently in the
mould of primeval earth.
But both the diabolic love
and the unearthly hate
of the mysteries it had pene-
trated fought for the
possession of that soul satiated
with primitive emotions,
avid of lying fame, of sham
distinction, of all
the appearances of success and power.
"Sometimes he
was contemptibly childish. He de-
sired to have kings
meet him at railway-stations on his
return from some ghastly
Nowhere, where he in-
tended to accomplish
great things. 'You show them
you have in you something
that is really profitable,
and then there will
be no limits to the recognition of
your ability,' he would
say. 'Of course you must take
care of the motives
-- right motives -- always.' The
long reaches that were
like one and the same reach,
monotonous bends that
were exactly alike, slipped
past the steamer with
their multitude of secular trees
looking patiently after
this grimy fragment of an-
other world, the forerunner
of change, of conquest,
of trade, of massacres,
of blessings. I looked ahead --
piloting. 'Close the
shutter,' said Kurtz suddenly one
day; 'I can't bear
to look at this.' I did so. There was
a silence. 'Oh, but
I will wring your heart yet!' he
cried at the invisible
wilderness.
"We broke down
-- as I had expected -- and had to
lie up for repairs
at the head of an island. This delay
was the first thing
that shook Kurtz's confidence. One
morning he gave me
a packet of papers and a photo-
graph -- the lot tied
together with a shoe-string. 'Keep
this for me,' he said.
'This noxious fool' (meaning the
manager) 'is capable
of prying into my boxes when I
am not looking.' In
the afternoon I saw him. He was
lying on his back with
closed eyes, and I withdrew
quietly, but I heard
him mutter, 'Live rightly, die, die
. . .' I listened.
There was nothing more. Was he
rehearsing some speech
in his sleep, or was it a frag-
ment of a phrase from
some newspaper article? He
had been writing for
the papers and meant to do so
again, 'for the furthering
of my ideas. It's a duty.'
"His was an
impenetrable darkness. I looked at him
as you peer down at
a man who is lying at the bottom
of a precipice where
the sun never shines. But I had
not much time to give
him, because I was helping the
engine-driver to take
to pieces the leaky cylinders, to
straighten a bent connecting-rod,
and in other such
matters. I lived in
an infernal mess of rust, filings,
nuts, bolts, spanners,
hammers, ratchet drills -- things
I abominate, because
I don't get on with them. I
tended the little forge
we fortunately had aboard; I
toiled wearily in a
wretched scrap-heap -- unless I had
the shakes too bad
to stand.
"One evening
coming in with a candle I was star-
tled to hear him say
a little tremulously, 'I am lying
here in the dark waiting
for death.' The light was
within a foot of his
eyes. I forced myself to murmur,
'Oh, nonsense!' and
stood over him as if transfixed.
"Anything approaching
the change that came over
his features I have
never seen before, and hope never
to see again. Oh, I
wasn't touched. I was fascinated.
It was as though a
veil had been rent. I saw on that
ivory face the expression
of sombre pride, of ruthless
power, of craven terror
-- of an intense and hopeless
despair. Did he live
his life again in every detail of
desire, temptation,
and surrender during that su-
preme moment of complete
knowledge? He cried in
a whisper at some image,
at some vision -- he cried out
twice, a cry that was
no more than a breath:
" 'The horror!
The horror!'
"I blew the
candle out and left the cabin. The pil-
grims were dining in
the mess-room, and I took my
place opposite the
manager, who lifted his eyes to
give me a questioning
glance, which I successfully ig-
nored. He leaned back,
serene, with that peculiar
smile of his sealing
the unexpressed depths of his
meanness. A continuous
shower of small flies streamed
upon the lamp, upon
the cloth, upon our hands and
faces. Suddenly the
manager's boy put his insolent
black head in the doorway,
and said in a tone of scath-
ing contempt:
" 'Mistah Kurtz
-- he dead.'
"All the pilgrims
rushed out to see. I remained,
and went on with my
dinner. I believe that I was con-
sidered brutally callous.
However, I did not eat much.
There was a lamp in
there -- light, don't you know --
and outside it was
so beastly, beastly dark. I went no
more near the remarkable
man who had pronounced
a judgment upon the
adventures of his soul on this
earth. The voice was
gone. What else had been there?
But I am of course
aware that next day the pilgrims
buried something in
a muddy hole.
"And then they
very nearly buried me.
"However, as
you see, I did not go to join Kurtz
there and then. I did
not. I remained to dream the
nightmare out to the
end, and to show my loyalty to
Kurtz once more. Destiny.
My destiny! Droll thing
life is -- that mysterious
arrangement of merciless logic
for a futile purpose.
The most you can hope from it
is some knowledge of
yourself -- that comes too late --
a crop of unextinguishable
regrets. I have wrestled
with death. It is the
most unexciting contest you can
imagine. It takes place
in an impalpable greyness,
with nothing underfoot,
with nothing around, without
spectators, without
clamour, without glory, without
the great desire of
victory, without the great fear of
defeat, in a sickly
atmosphere of tepid scepticism,
without much belief
in your own right, and still less
in that of your adversary.
If such is the form of ulti-
mate wisdom, then life
is a greater riddle than some
of us think it to be.
I was within a hair's breadth of the
last opportunity for
pronouncement, and I found with
humiliation that probably
I would have nothing to
say. This is the reason
why I affirm that Kurtz was a
remarkable man. He
had something to say. He said
it. Since I had peeped
over the edge myself, I under-
stand better the meaning
of his stare, that could not
see the flame of the
candle, but was wide enough to
embrace the whole universe,
piercing enough to pene-
trate all the hearts
that beat in the darkness. He had
summed up -- he had
judged. 'The horror!' He was a
remarkable man. After
all, this was the expression of
some sort of belief;
it had candour, it had conviction,
it had a vibrating
note of revolt in its whisper, it had
the appalling face
of a glimpsed truth -- the strange
commingling of desire
and hate. And it is not my own
extremity I remember
best -- a vision of greyness with-
out form filled with
physical pain, and a careless con-
tempt for the evanescence
of all things -- even of this
pain itself. No! It
is his extremity that I seem to have
lived through. True,
he had made that last stride, he
had stepped over the
edge, while I had been permit-
ted to draw back my
hesitating foot. And perhaps in
this is the whole difference;
perhaps all the wisdom,
and all truth, and
all sincerity, are just compressed
into that inappreciable
moment of time in which we
step over the threshold
of the invisible. Perhaps! I
like to think my summing-up
would not have been a
word of careless contempt.
Better his cry -- much bet-
ter. It was an affirmation,
a moral victory paid for by
innumerable defeats,
by abominable terrors, by abomi-
nable satisfactions.
But it was a victory! That is why I
have remained loyal
to Kurtz to the last, and even
beyond, when a long
time after I heard once more,
not his own voice,
but the echo of his magnificent elo-
quence thrown to me
from a soul as translucently pure
as a cliff of crystal.
"No, they did
not bury me, though there is a period
of time which I remember
mistily, with a shuddering
wonder, like a passage
through some inconceivable
world that had no hope
in it and no desire. I found
myself back in the
sepulchral city resenting the sight
of people hurrying
through the streets to filch a little
money from each other,
to devour their infamous
cookery, to gulp their
unwholesome beer, to dream
their insignificant
and silly dreams. They trespassed
upon my thoughts. They
were intruders whose knowl-
edge of life was to
me an irritating pretence, because I
felt so sure they could
not possibly know the things I
knew. Their bearing,
which was simply the bearing of
commonplace individuals
going about their business in
the assurance of perfect
safety, was offensive to me
like the outrageous
flauntings of folly in the face of a
danger it is unable
to comprehend. I had no particular
desire to enlighten
them, but I had some difficulty in
restraining myself
from laughing in their faces so full
of stupid importance.
I daresay I was not very well at
that time. I tottered
about the streets -- there were
various affairs to
settle -- grinning bitterly at perfectly
respectable persons.
I atmit my behaviour was inex-
cusable, but then my
temperature was seldom normal
in these days. My dear
aunt's endeavours to 'nurse up
my strength' seemed
altogether beside the mark. It
was not my strength
that wanted nursing, it was my
imagination that wanted
soothing. I kept the bundle
of papers given me
by Kurtz, not knowing exactly
what to do with it.
His mother had died lately,
watched over, as I
was told, by his Intended. A clean-
shaved man, with an
official manner and wearing
gold-rimmed spectacles,
called on me one day and
made inquiries, at
first circuitous, afterwards suavely
pressing, about what
he was pleased to denominate
certain 'documents.'
I was not surprised, because I had
had two rows with the
manager on the subject out
there. I had refused
to give up the smallest scrap out
of that package, and
I took the same attitude with the
spectacled man. He
became darkly menacing at Last,
and with much heat
argued that the Company had the
right to every bit
of information about its 'territories.'
And said he, 'Mr. Kurtz's
knowkdge of unexplored
regions must have been
necessarily extensive and pe-
culiar -- owing to
his great abilities and to the deplor-
able circumstances
in which he had been placed:
therefore --' I assured
him Mr. Kurtz's knowledge,
however extensive,
did not bear upon the problems of
commerce or administration.
He invoked then the
name of science. 'It
would be an incalculable loss if,'
etc., etc. I offered
him the report on the 'Suppression
of Savage Customs,'
with the postscriptum torn off.
He took it up eagerly,
but ended by sniffing at it with
an air of contempt.
'This is not what we had a right to
expect,' he remarked.
'Expect nothing else,' I said.
'There are only private
letters.' He withdrew upon
some threat of legal
proceedings, and I saw him no
more; but another fellow,
calling himself Kurtz's
cousin, appeared two
days later, and was anxious to
hear all the details
about his dear relative's last mo-
ments. Incidentally
he gave me to understand that
Kurtz had been essentially
a great musician. 'There
was the making of an
immense success,' said the man,
who was an organist,
I believe, with lank grey hair
flowing over a greasy
coat-collar. I had no reason to
doubt his statement,
and to this day I am unable to
say what was Kurtz's
profession, whether he ever had
any -- which was the
greatest of his talents. I had taken
him for a painter who
wrote for the papers, or else for
a journalist who could
paint -- but even the cousin
(who took snuff during
the interview) could not tell
me what he had been
-- exactly. He was a universal
genius -- on that point
I agreed with the old chap, who
thereupon blew his
nose noisily into a large cotton
handkerchief and withdrew
in senile agitation, bear-
ing off some family
letters and memoranda without
importance. Ultimately
a journalist anxious to know
something of the fate
of his 'dear colleague' turned
up. This visitor informed
me Kurtz's proper sphere
ought to have been
politics 'on the popular side.' He
had furry straight
eyebrows, bristly hair cropped
short, an eyeglass
on a broad ribbon, and, becoming
expansive, confessed
his opinion that Kurtz really
couldn't write a bit
-- 'but heavens! how that man
could talk. He electrified
large meetings. He had
faith -- don't you
see? -- he had the faith. He could get
himself to believe
anything -- anything. He would
have been a splendid
leader of an extreme party.'
'What party?' I asked.
'Any party,' answered the
other. 'He was an --
an -- extremist.' Did I not think
so? I assented. Did
I know, he asked, with a sudden
flash of curiosity,
'what it was that had induced him
to go out there?' 'Yes,'
said I, and forthwith handed
him the famous Report
for publication, if he thought
fit. He glanced through
it hurriedly, mumbling all
the time, judged 'it
would do,' and took himself off
with this plunder.
"Thus I was
left at last with a slim packet of let-
ters and the girl's
portrait. She struck me as beautiful
-- I mean she had a
beautiful expression. I know that
the sunlight can be
made to lie, too, yet one felt that
no manipulation of
light and pose could have con-
veyed the delicate
shade of truthfulness upon those
features. She seemed
ready to listen without mental
reservation, without
suspicion, without a thought for
herself. I conclucled
I would go and give her back her
portrait and those
letters myself. Curiosity? Yes; and
also some other feeling
perhaps. All that had been
Kurtz's had passed
out of my hands: his soul, his
body, his station,
his plans, his ivory, his career. There
remained only his memory
and his Intended -- and I
wanted to give that
up, too, to the past, in a way -- to
surrender personally
all that remained of him with
me to that oblivion
which is the last word of our
common fate. I don't
defend myself. I had no clear
perception of what
it was I really wanted. Perhaps it
was an impulse of unconscious
loyalty, or the fulfil-
ment of one of those
ironic necessities that lurk in the
facts of human existence.
I don't know. I can't tell.
But I went.
"I thought his
memory was like the other memo-
ries of the dead that
accumulate in every man's life --
a vague impress on
the brain of shadows that had
fallen on it in their
swift and final passage; but before
the high and ponderous
door, between the tall houses
of a street as still
and decorous as a well-kept alley in
a cemetery, I had a
vision of him on the stretcher,
opening his mouth voraciously,
as if to devour all the
earth with all its
mankind. He lived then before me;
he lived as much as
he had ever lived -- a shadow in-
satiable of splendid
appearances, of frightful realities;
a shadow darker than
the shadow of the night, and
draped nobly in the
folds of a gorgeous eloquence.
The vision seemed to
enter the house with me -- the
stretcher, the phantom-bearers,
the wild crowd of
obedient worshippers,
the gloom of the forests, the
glitter of the reach
between the murky bends, the beat
of thle drum, regular
and muffled like the beating of a
heart -- the heart
of a conquering darkness. It was a
moment of triumph for
the wilderness, an invading
and vengeful rush which,
it seemed to me, I would
have to keep back alone
for the salvation of another
soul. And the memory
of what I had heard him say
afar there, with the
horned shapes stirring at my back,
in the glow of fires,
within the patient woods, those
broken phrases came
back to me, were heard again in
their ominous and terrifying
simplicity. I remem-
bered his abject pleading,
his abject threats, the colos-
sal scale of his vile
desires, the meanness, the torment,
the tempestuous anguish
of his soul. And later on I
seemed to see his collected
languid manner, when he
said one day, 'This
lot of ivory now is really mine.
The Company did not
pay for it. I collected it myself
at a very great personal
risk. I am afraid they will try
to claim it as theirs
though. H'm. It is a difficult case.
What do you think I
ought to do -- resist? Eh? I want
no more than justice.'
. . . He wanted no more than
justice -- no more
than justice. I rang the bell before a
mahogany door on the
first floor, and while I waited
he seemed to stare
at me out of the glassy panel -- stare
with that wide and
immense stare embracing, con-
demning, loathing all
the universe. I seemed to hear
the whispered cry,
'The horror! The horror! '
"The dusk was
falling. I had to wait in a lofty
drawingroom with three
long windows from floor to
ceiling that were like
three luminous and bedraped
columns. The bent gilt
legs and backs of the furniture
shone in indistinct
curves. The tall marble fireplace
had a cold and monumental
whiteness. A grand piano
stood massively in
a corner; with dark gleams on the
flat surfaces like
a sombre and polished sarcophagus.
A high door opened
closed I rose.
"She came forward,
all in black, with a pale head,
floating towards me
in the dusk. She was in mourning.
It was more than a
year since his death, more than a
year since the news
came; she seemed as though she
would remember and
mourn forever. She took both
my hands in hers and
murmured, 'I had heard you
were coming.' I noticed
she was not very young -- I
mean not girlish. She
had a mature capacity for fidel-
ity, for belief, for
suffering. The room seemed to have
grown darker, as if
all the sad light of the cloudy eve-
ning had taken refuge
on her forehead. This fair hair,
this pale visage, this
pure brow, seemed surrounded
by an ashy halo from
which the dark eyes looked out
at me. Their glance
was guileless, profound, confi-
dent, and trustful.
She carried her sorrowful head as
though she were proud
of that sorrow, as though she
would say, 'I -- I
alone know how to mourn for him
as he deserves.' But
while we were still shaking hands,
such a look of awful
desolation came upon her face
that I perceived she
was one of those creatures that
are not the playthings
of Time. For her he had died
only yesterday. And,
by Jove! the impression was so
powerful that for me,
too, he seemed to have died
only yesterday -- nay,
this very minute. I saw her and
him in the same instant
of time -- his death and her
sorrow -- I saw her
sorrow in the very moment of his
death. Do you understand?
I saw them together - I
heard them together.
She had said, with a deep catch
of the breath, 'I have
survived' while my strained ears
seemed to hear distinctly,
mingled with her tone of
despairing regret,
the summing up whisper of his
eternal condemnation.
I asked myself what I was
doing there, with a
sensation of panic in my heart as
though I had blundered
into a place of cruel and
absurd mysteries not
fit for a human being to behold.
She motioned me to
a chair. We sat down. I laid the
packet gently on the
little table, and she put her hand
over it.... 'You knew
him well,' she murmured,
after a moment of mourning
silence.
" 'Intimacy
grows quickly out there,' I said. 'I
knew him as well as
it is possible for one man to know
another.'
" 'And you admired
him,' she said. 'It was impos-
sible to know him and
not to admire him. Was it?'
" 'He was a
remarkable man,' I said, unsteadily.
Then before the appealing
fixity of her gaze, that
seemed to watch for
more words on my lips, I went
on, 'It was impossible
not to --'
" 'Love him,'
she finished eagerly, silencing me
into an appalled dumbness.
'How true! how truel
But when you think
that no one knew him so well as
I! I had all his noble
confidence. I knew him best.'
" 'You knew
him best,' I repeated. And perhaps
she did. But with every
word spoken the room was
growing darker, and
only her forehead, smooth and
white, remained illumined
by the unextinguishable
light of belief and
love.
" 'You were
his friend,' she went on. 'His friend,'
she repeated, a little
louder. 'You must have been, if
he had given you this,
and sent you to me. I feel I can
speak to you -- and
oh! I must speak. I want you -- you
who have heard his
last words -- to know I have been
worthy of him.... It
is not pride.... Yes! I am
proud to know I understood
him better than any one
on earth -- he told
me so himself. And since his mother
died I have had no
one -- no one -- to -- to --'
"I listened.
The darkness deepened. I was not even
sure whether he had
given me the right bundle. I
rather suspect he wanted
me to take care of another
batch of his papers
which, after his death, I saw the
manager examining under
the lamp. And the girl
talked, easing her
pain in the certitude of my sympa-
thy; she talked as
thirsty men drink. I had heard that
her engagement with
Kurtz had been disapproved by
her people. He wasn't
rich enough or something. And
indeed I don't know
whether he had not been a pau-
per all his life. He
had given me some reason to infer
that it was his impatience
of comparative poverty that
drove him out there.
" '. . . Who
was not his friend who had heard him
speak once?' she was
saying. 'He drew men towards
him by what was best
in them.' She looked at me with
intensity. 'It is the
gift of the great,' she went on, and
the sound of her low
voice seemed to have the ac-
companiment of all
the other sounds, full of mystery,
desolation, and sorrow,
I had ever heard -- the ripple
of the river, the soughing
of the trees swayed by the
wind, the murmurs of
the crowds, the faint ring of
incomprehensible words
cried from afar, the whisper
of a voice speaking
from beyond the threshold of an
eternal darkness. 'But
you have heard him! You
know!' she cried.
" 'Yes, I know,'
I said with something like despair
in my heart, but bowing
my head before the faith that
was in her, before
that great and saving illusion
that shone with an
unearthly glow in the darkness, in
the triumphant darkness
from which I could not have
defended her -- from
which I could not even defend
myself.
" 'What a loss
to me -- to us!' -- she corrected her-
self with beautiful
generosity; then added in a mur-
mur, 'To the world.'
By the last gleams of twilight I
could see the glitter
of her eyes, full of tears -- of tears
that would not fall.
" 'I have been
very happy -- very fortunate -- very
proud,' she went on.
'Too fortunate. Too happy for a
little while. And now
I am unhappy for -- for life.'
"She stood up;
her fair hair seemed to catch all the
remaining light in
a glimmer of gold. I rose, too.
" 'And of all
this,' she went on mournfully, 'of all
his promise, and of
all his greatness, of his generous
mind, of his noble
heart, nothing remains -- nothing
but a memory. You and
I --'
" 'We shall
always remember him,' I said hastily.
" 'No!' she
cried. 'It is impossible that all this
should be lost -- that
such a life should be sacrificed to
leave nothing -- but
sorrow. You know what vast plans
he had. I knew of them,
too -- I could not perhaps
understand -- but others
knew of them. Something
must remain. His words,
at least, have not died.'
" 'His words
will remain,' I said.
" 'And his example,'
she whispered to herself. 'Men
looked up to him --
his goodness shone in every act.
His example --'
" 'True,' I
said; 'his example, too. Yes, his example.
I forgot that.'
" 'But I do
not. I cannot -- I cannot believe -- not
yet. I cannot believe
that I sha]l never see him again,
that nobody will see
him again, never, never, never.'
"She put out
her arms as if after a retreating figure,
stretching them back
and with clasped pale hands
across the fading and
narrow sheen of the window.
Never see him! I saw
him clearly enough then. I
shall see this eloquent
phantom as long as I live, and
I shall see her, too,
a tragic and familiar Shade,
resembling in this
gesture another one, tragic also,
and bedecked with powerless
charms, stretching bare
brown arms over the
glitter cf the infernal stream,
the stream of darkness.
She said suddenly very low,
'He died as he lived.'
" 'His end,'
said I, with dull anger stirring in me,
'was in every way worthy
of his life.'
" 'And I was
not with him,' she murmured. My
anger subsided before
a feeling of infinite pity.
" 'Everything
that could be done --' I mumbled.
" 'Ah, but I
believed in him more than any one on
earth -- more than
his own mother, more than -- him-
self. He needed me!
Me! I would have treasured
every sigh, every word,
every sign, every glance.'
"I felt like
a chill grip on my chest. 'Don't,' I said,
in a muffled voice.
" 'Forgive me.
I -- I have mourned so long in
silence -- in silence....
You were with him -- to the
last? I think of his
loneliness. Nobody near to under-
stand him as I would
have understood. Perhaps no
one to hear....'
" 'To the very
end,' I said, shakily. 'I heard his
very last words....'
I stopped in a fright.
" 'Repeat them,'
she murmured in a heart-broken
tone. 'I want -- I
want -- something -- something -- to --
to live with.'
"I was on the
point of crying at her, 'Don't you
hear them?' The dusk
was repeating them in a per-
sistent whisper all
around us, in a whisper that seemed
to swell menacingly
like the first whisper of a rising
wind. 'The horror!
The horror!'
" 'His last
word -- to live with,' she insisted. 'Don't
you understand I loved
him -- I loved him -- I loved
him!'
"I pulled myself
together and spoke slowly.
" 'The last
word he pronounced was -- your name.'
"I heard a light
sigh and then my heart stood still,
stopped dead short
by an exulting and terrible cry, by
the cry of inconceivable
triumph and of unspeakable
pain. 'I knew it --
I was sure!' . . . She knew. She was
sure. I heard her weeping;
she had hidden her face
in her hands. It seemed
to me that the house would
collapse before I could
escape, that the heavens
would fall upon my
head. But nothing happened. The
heavens do not fall
for such a trifle. Would they have
fallen, I wonder, if
I had rendered Kurtz that justice
which was his due?
Hadn't he said he wanted only
justice? But I couldn't.
I could not tell her. It would
have been too dark
-- too dark altogether...."
Marlow ceased,
and sat apart, indistinct and silent,
in the pose of a meditating
Buddha. Nobody moved
for a time. "We have
lost the first of the ebb," said
the Director suddenly.
I raised my head. The offing
was barred by a black
bank of clouds, and the tran-
quil waterway leading
to the uttermost ends of the
earth flowed sombre
under an overcast sky -- seemed
to lead into the heart
of an immense darkness.
End
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