SUMMARY :The Author being informed of a Design to accuse him of High-Treason, makes his Escape to Blefuscu. His Reception there.
Before I proceed to give an Account of my leaving
this Kingdom, it may be proper to inform the Reader of a private
Intrigue which had been for two Months forming against me.
I had been hitherto all my Life a Stranger to Courts, for which I was
unqualified by the meanness of my Condition. I had
indeed heard and read enough of the Dispositions of great Princes and
Ministers; but never expected to have found such
terrible Effects of them in so remote a Country, governed, as I thought,
by very different Maxims from those in Europe.
When I was just preparing to pay my Attendance on the Emperor of Blefuscu,
a considerable Person at Court (to whom I
had been very serviceable at a time when he lay under the highest Displeasure
of his Imperial Majesty) came to my House
very privately at Night in a close Chair, and without sending his Name,
desired admittance. The Chair-Men were dismissed;
I put the Chair, with his Lordship in it, into my Coat-Pocket: and
giving Orders to a trusty Servant to say I was indisposed
and gone to sleep, I fastened the Door of my House, placed the Chair
on the Table, according to my usual Custom, and
sate down by it. After the common Salutations were over, observing
his Lordship's Countenance full of Concern, and
enquiring into the reason, he desired I would hear him with patience
in a Matter that highly concerned my Honour and my
Life. His Speech was to the following Effect, for I took Notes of it
as soon as he left me.
You are to know, said he, that several Committees of Council have been
lately called in the most private manner on your
account; and it is but two Days since his Majesty came to a full Resolution.
You are very sensible that Skyresh Bolgolam (Galbet, or High Admiral)
has been your mortal Enemy almost ever since
your Arrival: His original Reasons I know not, but his Hatred is much
increased since your great Success against Blefuscu,
by which his Glory as Admiral is obscur'd. This Lord, in conjunction
with Flimnap the High Treasurer, whose Enmity
against you is notorious on account of his Lady, Limtoc the General,
Lalcon the Chamberlain, and Balmuff the grand
Justiciary, have prepared Articles of Impeachment against you, for
Treason, and other capital Crimes.
This preface made me so impatient, being conscious of my own Merits
and Innocence, that I was going to interrupt; when
he entreated me to be silent, and thus proceeded.
Out of Gratitude for the Favours you have done me, I procured Information
of the whole Proceedings, and a Copy of the
Articles, wherein I venture my Head for your Service.
Articles of Impeachment against Quinbus Flestrin (the Man-Mountain)
ARTICLE I
Whereas, by a Statute made in the Reign of
his Imperial Majesty Calin Deffar Plune, it is enacted, That
whoever shall make water within the Precincts
of the Royal Palace, shall be liable to the Pains and Penalties of
High Treason; Notwithstanding, the said Quinbus
Flestrin, in open breach of the said Law, under colour of
extinguishing the Fire kindled in the Apartment
of his Majesty's most dear Imperial Consort, did maliciously,
traitorously, and devilishly, by discharge
of his Urine, put out the said Fire kindled in the said Apartment, lying
and being within the Precincts of the said
Royal Palace, against the Statute in that case provided, etc., against
the Duty, etc.
ARTICLE II.
That the said Quinbus Flestrin having brought
the Imperial Fleet of Blefuscu into the Royal Port, and being
afterwards commanded by his Imperial Majesty
to seize all the other Ships of the said Empire of Blefuscu,
and reduce that Empire to a Province, to be
governed by a Vice-Roy from hence, and to destroy and put to
death not only all the Big-Endian Exiles,
but likewise all the People of that Empire, who would not
immediately forsake the Big-Endian Heresy:
He the said Flestrin, like a false Traitor against his most
Auspicious, Serene, Imperial Majesty, did
petition to be excused from the said Service upon pretence of
unwillingness to force the Consciences, or
destroy the Liberties and Lives of an innocent People.
ARTICLE III.
That, whereas certain Embassadors from the
Court of Blefuscu, to sue for Peace in his Majesty's Court: He,
the said Flestrin, did, like a false Traitor,
aid, abet, comfort, and divert the said Embassadors, although he
knew them to be Servants to a Prince who was
lately an open Enemy to his Imperial Majesty, and in open
War against his said Majesty.
ARTICLE IV.
That the said Quinbus Flestrin, contrary to
the Duty of a faithful subject, is now preparing to make a Voyage
to the Court and Empire of Blefuscu, for which
he had received only verbal Licence from his Imperial
Majesty; and under colour of the said Licence,
doth falsely and traitorously intend to take the said Voyage,
and hereby to aid, comfort, and abet the Emperor
of Blefuscu, so late an Enemy, and in open war with his
Imperial Majesty aforesaid.
There are some other Articles, but these are the most important, of which I have read you an Abstract.
In the several Debates upon this Impeachment, it must be confessed that
his Majesty gave many marks of his great Lenity,
often urging the Services you had done him, and endeavouring to extenuate
your Crimes. The Treasurer and Admiral
insisted that you should be put to the most painful and ignominious
Death, by setting fire on your House at Night, and the
General was to attend with twenty Thousand Men armed with poisoned
Arrows to shoot you on the Face and Hands.
Some of your Servants were to have private Orders to strew a poisonous
Juice on your Shirts, which would soon make
you tear your own Flesh, and die in the utmost Torture. The General
came into the same Opinion, so that for a long time
there was a Majority against you: but his Majesty resolving, if possible,
to spare your Life, at last brought off the
Chamberlain.
Upon this Incident, Reldresal, principal Secretary for private Affairs,
who always approved himself your true Friend, was
commanded by the Emperor to deliver his Opinion, which he accordingly
did; and therein justify'd the good Thoughts you
have of him. He allowed your Crimes to be great, but that still there
was room for Mercy, the most commendable Virtue in
a Prince, and for which his Majesty was so justly celebrated. He said,
the Friendship between you and him was so well
known to the World, that perhaps the most honourable Board might think
him partial: However, in obedience to the
Command he had received, he would freely offer his Sentiments. That
if his Majesty, in consideration of your Services, and
pursuant to his own merciful Disposition, would please to spare your
Life, and only give Order to put out both your Eyes,
he humbly conceived that by this Expedient, Justice might in some measure
be satisfied, and all the World would applaud
the Lenity of the Emperor, as well as the fair and generous Proceedings
of those who have the Honour to be his
Counsellors. That the loss of your Eyes would be no impediment to your
bodily Strength, by which you might still be useful
to his Majesty. That Blindness is an addition to Courage, by concealing
Dangers from us; that the Fear you had for your
Eyes was the greatest Difficulty in bringing over the Enemy's Fleet,
and it would be sufficient for you to see by the Eyes of
the Ministers, since the greatest Princes do no more.
This Proposal was received with the utmost Disapprobation by the whole
Board. Bolgolam, the Admiral, could not
preserve his Temper, but rising up in Fury said he wondered how the
Secretary dared presume to give his Opinion for
preserving the Life of a Traytor: That the Services you had performed,
were, by all true Reasons of State, the great
Aggravation of your Crimes; that you, who were able to extinguish the
Fire, by discharge of Urine in her Majesty's
Apartment (which he mentioned with horror), might at another time,
raise an Inundation by the same means, to drown the
whole Palace; and the same Strength which enabled you to bring over
the Enemy's Fleet, might serve, upon the first
Discontent, to carry it back: That he had good Reasons to think you
were a Big-Endian in your heart; and as Treason
begins in the Heart, before it appears in Overt-Acts, so he accused
you as a Traytor on that Account, and therefore insisted
you should be put to death.
The Treasurer was of the same Opinion; he shewed to what streights his
Majesty's Revenue was reduced by the Charge of
maintaining you, which would soon grow insupportable: That the Secretary's
Expedient of putting out your Eyes was so far
from being a Remedy against this Evil, it would probably increase it,
as it is manifest from the common Practice of blinding
some kind of Fowl, after which they fed the faster, and grew sooner
fat: That his sacred Majesty, and the Council, who are
your Judges, were in their own Consciences fully convinced of your
Guilt, which was a sufficient Argument to condemn you
to Death, without the formal Proofs required by the strict Letter of
the Law.
But his Imperial Majesty, fully determined against Capital Punishment,
was graciously pleased to say, that since the Council
thought the loss of your Eyes too easy a Censure, some other may be
inflicted hereafter. And your Friend the Secretary
humbly desiring to be heard again, in answer to what the Treasurer
had objected concerning the great Charge his Majesty
was at in maintaining you, said that his Excellency, who had the sole
disposal of the Emperor's Revenue, might easily
provide against that Evil, by gradually lessening your Establishment;
by which, for want of sufficient Food, you would grow
weak and faint, and lose your Appetite, and consequently decay and
consume in a few Months; neither would the Stench of
your Carcass be then so dangerous, when it should become more than
half diminished; and immediately upon your Death,
five or six Thousand of his Majesty's Subjects might, in two or three
days, cut your Flesh from your Bones, take it away by
Cart-loads, and bury it in distant parts to prevent Infection, leaving
the Skeleton as a Monument of Admiration to Posterity.
Thus by the great Friendship of the Secretary, the whole Affair was
compromised. It was strictly enjoin'd, that the Project
of starving you by degrees should be kept a Secret, but the Sentence
of putting out your Eyes was entered on the Books;
none dissenting except Bolgolam the Admiral, who, being a Creature
of the Empress, was perpetually instigated by her
Majesty to insist upon your Death, she having borne perpetual Malice
against you, on account of that infamous and illegal
Method you took to extinguish the Fire in her Apartment.
In three Days your Friend the Secretary will be directed to come to
your House, and read before you the Articles of
Impeachment; and then to signify the great Lenity and Favour of his
Majesty and Council, whereby you are only
condemned to the loss of your Eyes, which his Majesty does not question
you will gratefully and humbly submit to; and
twenty of his Majesty's Surgeons will attend, in order to see the Operation
well performed, by discharging very
sharp-pointed Arrows into the Balls of your Eyes, as you lie on the
Ground.
I leave to your Prudence what Measures you will take; and to avoid Suspicion,
I must immediately return in as private a
manner as I came.
His Lordship did so, and I remained alone, under many Doubts and Perplexities of Mind.
It was a Custom introduced by this Prince and his Ministry (very different,
as I have been assured, from the Practices of
former Times) that after the Court had decreed any cruel Execution,
either to gratify the Monarch's Resentment, or the
Malice of a Favourite, the Emperor always made a Speech to his whole
Council, expressing his great Lenity and
Tenderness, as Qualities known and confessed by all the World. This
Speech was immediately published through the
Kingdom; nor did anything terrify the People so much as those Encomiums
on his Majesty's Mercy; because it was
observed, that the more these Praises were enlarged and insisted on,
the more inhuman was the Punishment, and the
Sufferer more innocent. And as to myself, I must confess, having never
been designed for a Courtier either by my Birth or
Education, I was so ill a Judge of Things, that I could not discover
the Lenity and Favour of this Sentence, but conceived it
(perhaps erroneously) rather to be rigorous than gentle. I sometimes
thought of standing my Tryal, for although I could not
deny the facts alledged in the several Articles, yet I hoped they would
admit of some Extenuations. But having in my Life
perused many State-Tryals, which I ever observed to terminate as the
Judges thought fit to direct, I durst not rely on so
dangerous a Decision, in so critical a Juncture, and against such powerful
Enemies. Once I was strongly bent upon
Resistance, for while I had Liberty, the whole Strength of that Empire
could hardly subdue me, and I might easily with
Stones pelt the Metropolis to pieces; but I soon rejected that Project
with Horror, by remembering the Oath I had made to
the Emperor, the Favours I received from him, and the High Title of
Nardac he conferred upon Me. Neither had I so soon
learned the Gratitude of Courtiers, to persuade myself that his Majesty's
present Severities quitted me of all past
Obligations.
At last I fixed upon a Resolution, for which it is probable I may incur
some Censure, and not unjustly; for I confess I owe
the preserving of my Eyes, and consequently my Liberty, to my own great
Rashness and want of Experience: because if I
had then known the Nature of Princes and Ministers, which I have since
observed in many other Courts, and their Methods
of treating Criminals less obnoxious than myself, I should with great
alacrity and readiness have submitted to so easy a
Punishment. But hurry'd on by the Precipitancy of Youth, and having
his Imperial Majesty's Licence to pay my Attendance
upon the Emperor of Blefuscu, I took this Opportunity, before the three
Days were elapsed, to send a Letter to my Friend
the Secretary, signifying my Resolution of setting out that Morning
for Blefuscu pursuant to the leave I had got; and without
waiting for an Answer, I went to that side of the Island where our
Fleet lay. I seized a large Man of War, tyed a Cable to
the Prow, and, lifting up the Anchors, I stript myself, put my Cloaths
(together with my Coverlet, which I brought under my
Arm) into the Vessel, and drawing it after me between wading and swimming,
arrived at the Royal Port of Blefuscu, where
the People had long expected me; they lent me two Guides to direct
me to the Capital City, which is of the same Name. I
held them in my Hands till I came within two hundred Yards of the Gate,
and desired them to signify my Arrival to one of
the Secretarys, and let him know, I there waited his Majesty's Command.
I had an answer in about an Hour, that his
Majesty, attended by the Royal Family, and great Officers of the Court,
was coming out to receive me. I advanced a
Hundred Yards. The Emperor and his Train alighted from their Horses,
the Empress and Ladies from their Coaches, and I
did not perceive they were in any Fright or Concern. I lay on the Ground
to kiss his Majesty's and the Empress's Hand. I
told his Majesty that I had come according to my Promise, and with
the Licence of the Emperor my Master, to have the
Honour of seeing so Mighty a Monarch, and to offer him any Service
in my power, consistent with my Duty to my own
Prince; not mentioning a word of my Disgrace, because I had hitherto
no regular Information of it, and might suppose
myself wholly ignorant of any such Design; neither could I reasonably
conceive that the Emperor would discover the Secret
while I was out of his power: wherein, however, it soon appeared I
was deceived.
I shall not trouble the Reader with the particular Account of my Reception
at this Court, which was suitable to the
Generosity of so great a Prince; nor of the Difficulties I was in for
want of a House and Bed, being forced to lie on the
Ground, wrapt up in my Coverlet.