SUMMARY :A further Account of Glubbdubdrib. Antient and Modern History corrected.

     HAVING A DESIRE to see those Antients, who were most renowned for Wit and Learning, I set apart one Day on
purpose. I proposed that Homer and Aristotle might appear at the Head of all their Commentators; but these were so
numerous that some hundreds were forced to attend in the Court and outward Rooms of the Palace. I knew and could
distinguish those two Heroes at first sight, not only from the Croud, but from each other. Homer was the taller and
comelier Person of the two, walked very erect for one of his Age, and his Eyes were the most quick and piercing I ever
beheld. Aristotle stooped much, and made use of a Staff. His Visage was meager, his Hair lank and thin, and his Voice
hollow. I soon discovered that both of were perfect Strangers to the rest of the Company, and had never seen or heard
of them before. And I had a Whisper from a Ghost, who shall be nameless, that these Commentators always kept in the
most distant Quarters from their Principals in the lower World, through a Consciousness of Shame and Guilt, because
they had so horribly misrepresented the Meaning of those Authors to Posterity. I introduced Didymus and Eustathius to
Homer, and prevailed on him to treat them better than perhaps they deserved; for he soon found they wanted a Genius
to enter into the Spirit of a poet. But Aristotle was out of all Patience with the Account I gave him of Scotus and
Ramus, as I presented them to him; and he asked them whether the rest of the Tribe were as great Dunces as
themselves.

I then desired the Governor to call up Descartes and Gassendi, with whom I prevailed to explain their Systems to
Aristotle. This great Philosopher freely acknowledged his own Mistakes in Natural Philosophy, because he proceeded
in many things upon Conjecture, as all Men must do; and he found, that Gassendi, who had made the Doctrine of
Epicurus as palatable as he could, and the Vortices of Descartes were equally exploded. He predicted the same Fate
to Attraction, whereof the present Learned are such zealous Asserters. He said, that new Systems of Nature were but
new Fashions, which would vary in every Age; and even those who pretend to demonstrate them from Mathematical
Principles, would flourish but a short Period of Time, and be out of Vogue when that was determined.

I spent five Days in conversing with many others of the antient Learned. I saw most of the first Roman Emperors. I
prevailed on the Governor to call up Eliogabalus's Cooks to dress us a Dinner, but they could not shew us much of
their Skill, for Want of Materials. A Helot of Agesilaus made us a Dish of Spartan Broth, but I was not able to get
down a second Spoonful.

The two Gentlemen who conducted me to the Island were pressed by their private Affairs to return in three Days, which
I employed in seeing some of the modern Dead, who had made the greatest Figure for two or three hundred Years past
in our own and other Countries of Europe; and having been always a great Admirer of old illustrious Families, I desired
the Governor call up a dozen or two of Kings with their Ancestors in order for eight or nine Generations. But my
Disappointment was grevious and unexpected. For instead of a long Train with Royal Diadems, I saw in one Family two
Fidlers, three spruce Courtiers, and an Italian Prelate. In another a Barber, an Abbot, and two Cardinals. I have too
great a Veneration for Crowned Heads to dwell any longer on so nice a Subject. But as to Counts, Marquesses, Dukes,
Earls, and the like I was not so scrupulous. And I confess it was not without some Pleasure that I found my self able to
trace the particular Features, by which certain Families are distinguished up to their Originals. I could plainly discover
from whence one Family derives a long Chin, why a second has abounded with Knaves for two Generations, and Fools
for two more; why a third happened to be crack-brained, and a fourth to be Sharpers. Whence it came what Polydore
Virgil says of a certain great House, Nec Vir fortis, nec Femina Casta. How Cruelty, Falsehood, and Cowardice
grew to be Characteristicks by which certain families are distinguished as much as by their Coat of Arms. Who first
brought the Pox into a noble House, which has lineally descended in scrophulous Tumours to their Posterity. Neither
could I wonder at all this, when I saw such an Interruption of Lineages by Pages, Lackeys, Valets, Coachmen,
Gamesters, Captains and Pickpockets.

I was chiefly disgusted with modern History. For having strictly examined all the Persons of greatest Name in the Courts
of Princes for a hundred Years past, I found how the World had been misled by prostitute Writers, to ascribe the
greatest Exploits in War to Cowards, the wisest Counsel to Fools, Sincerity to Flatterers, Roman Virtue to Betrayers of
their Country, Piety to Atheists, Chastity to Sodomites, Truth to Informers. How many innocent and excellent Persons
had been condemned to Death or Banishment, by the practising of great Ministers upon the Corruption of Judges, and
the Malice of Faction. How many Villains had been exalted to the highest Places of Trust, Power, Dignity, and Profit:
How great a Share in the Motions and Events of Courts, Councils, and Senates might be challenged by Bawds, Whores,
Pimps, Parasites, and Buffoons: How low an Opinion I had of human Wisdom and Integrity, when I was truly informed
of the Springs and Motives of great Enterprises and Revolutions in the World, and of the contemptible Accidents to
which they owed their Success.

Here I discovered the Roguery and Ignorance of those who pretend to write Anecdotes, or secret History, who send so
many Kings to their Graves with a Cup of Poison; will repeat the Discourse between a Prince and Chief Minister, where
no Witness was by; unlock the Thoughts and Cabinets of Embassadors and Secretaries of State, and have the perpetual
Misfortune to be mistaken. Here I discovered the secret Causes of many great Events that have surprized the World,
how a Whore can Govern the Back-stairs, the Back-stairs a Council, and the Council a Senate. A General confessed in
my Presence, that he got a Victory purely by the Force of Cowardice and ill Conduct: and an Admiral that for Want of
proper Intelligence, he beat the Enemy to whom he intended to betray the Fleet. Three Kings protested to me, that in
their whole Reigns they never did once prefer any Person of Merit, unless by Mistake or Treachery of some Minister in
whom they confided: Neither would they do it if they were to live again; and they shewed with great Strength of Reason,
that the Royal Throne could not be supported without Corruption, because that positive, confident, restive Temper,
which Virtue infused into Man, was a perpetual Clog to publick Business.

I had the Curiosity to enquire in a particular Manner, by what Method great Numbers had procured to themselves high
Titles of Honour, and prodigious Estates; and I confined my Enquiry to a very modern Period; however, without grating
upon present Times, because I would be sure to give no Offence even to Foreigners (for I hope the Reader need not be
told that I do not in the least intend my own Country in what I say upon this Occasion), a great Number of Persons
concerned were called up, and upon a very slight Examination, discovered such a Scene of Infamy, that I cannot reflect
upon it without some Seriousness. Perjury, Oppression, Subornation, Fraud, Panderism, and the like Infirmities, were
amongst the most excusable Arts they had to mention, and for these I gave, as it was reasonable, great Allowance. But
when some confessed they owed their Greatness and Wealth to Sodomy or Incest, others to the prostituting of their own
Wives and Daughters; others to the betraying of their Country or their Prince; some to Poisoning, more to the perverting
of Justice in order to destroy the Innocent: I hope I may be pardoned if these Discoveries inclined me little to abate of
that profound Veneration which I am naturally apt to pay to Persons of high Rank, who ought to be treated with the
utmost respect due to their sublime Dignity, by us their Inferiors.

I had often read of some great Services done to Princes and States, and desired to see the Persons by whom those
Services were performed. Upon Enquiry I was told that their Names were to be found on no Record, except a few of
them whom History has represented as the vilest Rogues and Traitors. As to the rest, I had never once heard of them.
They all appeared with dejected Looks, and in the meanest Habit, most of them telling me they died in Poverty and
Disgrace, and the rest on a Scaffold or a Gibbet.

Among the rest there was one Person whose Case appeared a little singular. He had a Youth about Eighteen Years old
standing by his Side. He told me he had for many Years been Commander of a Ship, and in the Sea Fight at Actium had
the good Fortune to break through the Enemy's great Line of Battle, sink three of their Capital Ships, and take a fourth,
which was the sole Cause of Antony's Flight, and of the Victory that ensued; that the Youth standing by him, his only
Son, was killed in Action. He added, that upon the Confidence of some Merit, the war being at an End, he went to
Rome, and solicited at the Court of Augustus to be preferred to a greater Ship, whose Commander had been killed; but
without any Regard to his Pretensions, it was given to a Youth who had never seen the Sea, the Son of Libertina, who
waited on one of the Emperor's Mistresses. Returning back to his own Vessel, he was charged with Neglect of Duty,
and the Ship given to a favourite Page of Publicola, the Vice-Admiral; whereupon he retired to a poor Farm, at a great
Distance from Rome, and there ended his Life. I was so curious to know the Truth of this Story, that I desired Agrippa
might be called, who was Admiral in that Fight. He appeared, and confirmed the whole Account, but with much more
Advantage to the Captain, whose Modesty had extenuated or concealed a great Part of his Merit.

I was surprized to find Corruption grown so high and so quick in that Empire, by the Force of Luxury so lately
introduced, which made me less wonder at many parallel Cases in other Countries, where Vices of all Kinds have
reigned so much longer, and where the whole Praise as well as Pillage has been engrossed by the chief Commander,
who perhaps had the least Title to either.

As every Person called up made exactly the same Appearance he had done in the World, it gave me melancholy
Reflections to observe how much the Race of human Kind was degenerate among us, within these Hundred Years past.
How the Pox under all its Consequences and Denominations had altered every Lineament of an English Countenance,
shortned the Size of Bodies, unbraced the Nerves, relaxed the Sinews and Muscles, introduced a sallow Complexion,
and rendered the Flesh loose and rancid.

I descended so low as to desire that some English Yeomen of the old Stamp might be summoned to appear, once so
famous for the Simplicity of their Manners, Dyet and Dress, for Justice in their Dealings, for their true Spirit of Liberty,
for their Valour and Love of their Country. Neither could I be wholly unmov'd after comparing the Living with the Dead,
when I considered how all these pure native Virtues were prostituted for a Piece of Money by their Grand-children, who
in selling their Votes, and managing at Elections have acquired every Vice and Corruption that can possibly be learned in
a Court.