Dearest creature in creation

Studying English pronunciation,

I will teach you in my verse

Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse

I will keep you, Susy, busy,

Make your head with heat grow dizzy.

Tear in eye your dress you'll tear,

So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer,

Pray, console your loving poet,

Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!

Just compare heart, beard and heard,

Dies and diet, lord and word,

Sword and sward, retain and Britain.

(Mind the latter, how it's written).

Made has not the sound of bade,

Say said, pay-paid, laid, but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague you

With such words as vague and ague,

But be careful how you speak,

Say break, steak, but bleak and streak.

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via,

Pipe, snipe, recipe and choir,

Cloven, oven, how and low,

Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery:

Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,

Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles.

Exiles, similes, reviles.

Wholly, holly, signal, signing.

Thames, examining, combining

Scholar, vicar, and cigar,

Solar, mica, war, and far.

From "desire": desirable--admirable from "admire."

Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier.

Chatham, brougham, renown, but known.

Knowledge, done, but gone and tone,

One, anemone. Balmoral.

Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel,

Gertrude, German, wind, and mind.

Scene, Melpomene, mankind,

Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather,

Reading, reading, heathen, heather.

This phonetic labyrinth

Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.

Billet does not end like ballet;

Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet;

Blood and flood are not like food,

Nor is mould like should and would.

Banquet is not nearly parquet,

Which is said to rime with khaki

Discount, Viscount, load, and broad.

Toward, to forward, to reward.

Right! Your pronunciation's O.K.

 /dɪəɾəst kɾiːtʃə in kɾieiʃən /

 /stʌdiːŋ ɪŋlɪʃ prənʊnsieiʃən/

/ai wil tiːtʃ juː in mai vɜːs /

/saʊnz laik kɔːps kɔː hɔːs ənd wɜːs/

/ai wil kiːp juː suzi bizi/

/meik jɔː hed wið hiːt ɡɾəʊ diziː/

/tiə in ai jɔː dres jəl teə/

/kwiə feə siə hiə mai preə/

/prei kənsəʊl jɔː lʌviŋ pəʊət/

/meik mai kəʊt lʊk njuː diə səʊ it/

/ʤʌst kəmpeə haːt biəd ənd hɜːd/

/daiz ənd daiət lɔːd and wɜːd/

/sɔːd ənd swɔːd ritein ənd britən/

/maind ðə lætə haʊ it iz ritən/

/meid həz nɒt ðə saʊnd əv bæd/

/sei sed pei leid bʌt nɒt plæd/

/naʊ ai ʃɔːli wil nɒt pleig juː/

/wið sʌtʃ wɜːdz əz veig ənd eiju/

/bʌt biː keəfʊl haʊ ju spiːk/

/sei gʌʃ bʊʃ steik striːk breik bliːk/

/priːviəs preʃəs fʊkʃiə vaiə/

/resipiː paip stʊnsei kwaiə/

/wəʊvən ʌvən haʊ ənd ləʊ/

/skript risiːts ʃuː pəʊim təʊ/

/hiə miː sei divɔid əv trikəri/

/dɔːtə laːftə ənd tepsikari/

/taifɔid miːzəlz tɒpsəl ailz/

/eksailz similiːz rivailz/

/həʊli hɒli signəl sainiŋ/

/seim iksæminiŋ bʌt mainiŋ/

/skɒlə vikə bʌt sigaː/

/səʊlə maikə wɔː ənd faː/

/frəm dizaiə dəzairəbəl/

/ədmaiɾəbəl frəm ədmaiə/

/lʌɱbə plʌmə biə bʌt briər/

/tɒpʃəm brauəm rinaʊn bʌt nəʊn/

/nɒliʤ dʌn ləʊn gɒn nʌn təʊn/

/wʌn ænemɒni bælmɒrəl/

/kitʃin litʃən lɔːndri lɒrəl/

/gɜːtruːd ʤɜːmən wind ənd maind/

/siːn melpɒməni mænkaind/

/tɔːtəs tɜːkwɔiz ʃæmwʌ leðə/

/riːdiŋ rediŋ hiːðən heðə/

/ðis fənetik læbərinθ/

/givz mɒs grəʊz brʊk brəʊtʃ nainθ plinθ/

/bilet dʌz nɒt end laik balei/

/buːkei wɒlit mælit ʃælei/

/blʌd ənd flʌd aː nɒt laik wʊd/

/nɔː iz məʊld laik ʃʊd ənd kud/

/bænkwit iz nɒt niəli paːkei/

/witʃ dʌzənt igsækli raim wið kaːki/

/diskaʊnt viskaʊnt ləʊd ənd brɔːd/

/təwɜːdz tə fɔːwəd tə riwɔːd/

/rikəʃeid ənd krɒtʃətiŋ krəʊkei/

/rait jɔː prənʊnsieiʃənz əʊ kei/