The man showed me some of his work, and I compared my body to each of the women in the pictures. He said he noticed I took longer looking at the pictures with two women. He said, "I know a girl you'd go great with."

"These aren't real couples?"

"No, they just get together for the shoot. Usually I pick 'em good, though, and they want to keep going longer than the shoot. Sometimes they go home together. That's what I'm all about -- I want you girls to have fun."

"Uh huh." I kept looking at the pictures.

He had me sign a release.

"What's this for?" I asked.

"Sometimes I sell pictures to 'Penthouse.'"

"I'll be in 'Penthouse?'"

"Don't worry. It's soft focus." He showed me pictures of fuzzy, unidentifiable women.

I signed.

He gave me a robe to change into. I came out of the bathroom with my shoes in one hand and my clothes and his robe tucked under my arm. "I don't need this," I said, and I handed back his robe. "What do you want me to do?"

He said, "Just lie down on the bed and enjoy yourself."

I laid down, but I didn't know how he wanted me to enjoy myself, so I asked.

He said, "Maybe you'd like some oils and lotions to put on your --"

"No," I said, "I'm fine."

He said, "Just do what you'd normally do alone in bed."

So I started masturbating. But when I masturbated, the only thing that moved was my index finger and my clitoris. He told me to rub my stomach and my thighs, which meant I had to stop masturbating, but he didn't see it that way, and he clicked clicked clicked.

In this session another issues come at stake: her idea of parternership (“These aren't real couples?” -there is an intrinsic concept of loyalty that her moral asks for and formulates through this question, because she sees the oddness still before a lens of innocence); the natural mistrust of the formal documents (“I'll be in 'Penthouse'?”, “Don't worry...” -the photographer knew she would mistrust because well-elevated people do not usually consent in going public) and the pleasure against what society expects of it to be, the erotic image of obtaining it. She is asked to stop masturbating, the way she has found to “enjoy herself”, in order to create a fantasy of image idealized by society.

From a second review we find the lesbian approach that, contrasted to the gay world, is much better seen by males. Lesbian relationships are attractive for men and are encouraged, whether gay is obscured and rejected by heterosexual oriented men.

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