Translation into phonemes

Dearest Creature in creation
‘di_ᵊrest ‘kri:t_ᶴᵊ in kri:’ei_ᶴᵊn 

Studying English pronunciation,

‘st_ᶺdiji_ᵑ ‘i_ᵑgli_ᶴ pr_ᵊn_ᶺnsi’ei_ᶴᶟn, 

I will teach you in my verse      

ai wil ti:t_ᶴ ju: in mai v_ᵊ:s

Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

saund laik kᴐ:ps, kᴐ:z, hᴐ:s, w_ᵊ:s.

I will keep you, Susy, busy,

ai wil ki:p ju:, suzi, bizi,

Make your head with heat grow dizzy;

meik ju_ᵊ: hed wi_ᶿ hi:t greu ‘dizi;

Tear in eye your dress you’ll tear;

ti_ᵊ in ai ju_ᵊ: dres ju:l ti_ᵊ;

Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.

kwi_ᵊ, fe_ᵊ si_ᵊ, hi_ᵊ mai pr_ᶟᵊ.

Pray, console your loving poet,

Prei, k_ᵊn’s_ᵊul ju_ᵊ: l_ᶺvi_ᵑ ‘p_ᵊuit,

Make my coat look new, dear sew it!

Meik mai k_ᵊut luk nju:. di_ᵊ s_ᵊu it!

Just compare heart, beard and heard

dz_ᶺst k_ᵊm’p_ᶟᵊ ha:t, bi_ᵊd _ᵆnd h_ᵊ:d,

Dies and diet, Lord and word

daiz _ᵆnd dai_ᵊt, Lᴐ:d _ᵆnd w_ᵊ:d,

Sword and sward, retain and Britain

sᴐ:d _ᵆnd swᴐ:d, ri’tein _ᵆnd ‘Brit_ᵊn

(Mind the latter how it is written);

 (maind ᵭe ‘l_ᵆt_ᵊ hau it is ‘ritn);

Made has not the sound of bade,

Meid has nᴐt ᵭe saund ᴐv b_ᵆd,

Say, said, pay, laid but not plaid.

Sei, sed, pei, leid b_ᶺt nᴐt pl_ᵆd.

Now I surely will not plague you

Nau ai ‘_ᶴu_ᵊli wil nᴐt pleig jiu

With such words as vague and ague,

wiᵭ s_ᶺt_ᶴ w_ᵊ:ds _ᵆz veig _ᵆnd ,

But be careful how you speak,

Say gush, bush, steak, break, bleak,

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via,

Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir,

Woven, oven, how and low,

Script, receipts, shoe, poem, toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,

Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore

Typhoid, measles, topsail, aisles

Exiles, similes, reviles,

Holy, holly, signal, signing

Same, examining but mining

Scholar, vicar, but cigar,

Solar, mica, war, and far,

From “desire” desirable,

Admirable from “admire”,

Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier,

Topsham, Brougham, renown, but known.

Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone,

One, anemone, Balmoral,

Kitchen, lichen laundry, laurel,

Gertrude, German, wind, and mind

Scene, Melpomene, mankind,

Tortoise, Turquoise, Chambois-leather

Reading, Reading, heathen, heather,

This phonetic labyrinth

Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.

Billet does not end like ballet,

Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.

Blood and flood are not like wood,

Nor is mould, like should and could.

Banquet is not nearly parquet,

Which doesn’t exactly rhyme with khaki.

Discount, viscount, load and broad,

Towards, to forward, to reward,

Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet?

Right! Your pronunciation’s O.K.