CHAPTER 4
PITY, and the forlorn seriousness of adversity, have both been considered
as dispositions favourable to love, while satirical writers have attributed the
propensity to the relaxing effect of idleness; what chance then had Maria of
escaping, when pity, sorrow, and solitude all conspired to soften her mind, and
nourish romantic wishes, and, from a natural progress, romantic expectations?
Maria was six-and-twenty. But, such was the native soundness of her constitution, that time had only given to her countenance
the character of her mind. Revolving thought, and exercised affections had
banished some of the playful graces of innocence, producing insensibly that irregularity
of features which the struggles of the understanding to trace or govern the
strong emotions of the heart, are wont to imprint on the
yielding mass. Grief and care had mellowed, without obscuring, the bright tints
of youth, and the thoughtfulness which resided on her brow did not take from
the feminine softness of her features; nay, such was the sensibility which
often mantled over it, that she frequently appeared, like a large proportion of
her sex, only born to feel; and the activity of her well-proportioned, and even
almost voluptuous figure, inspired the idea of strength of mind, rather than of
body. There was a simplicity sometimes indeed in her
manner, which bordered on infantine ingenuousness, that led people of common
discernment to underrate her talents, and smile at the flights of her
imagination. But those who could not comprehend the delicacy of her sentiments,
were attached by her unfailing sympathy, so that she was very generally beloved
by characters of very different descriptions; still, she was too much under the
influence of an ardent imagination to adhere to common rules.
There are mistakes of conduct which at five-and-twenty prove the strength
of the mind, that, ten or fifteen years after, would demonstrate
its weakness, its incapacity to acquire a sane judgment. The youths who are
satisfied with the ordinary pleasures of life, and do not sigh after ideal
phantoms of love and friendship, will never arrive at great maturity of understanding;
but if these reveries are cherished, as is too frequently the case with women,
when experience ought to have taught them in what human happiness consists,
they become as useless as they are wretched. Besides, their pains and pleasures
are so dependent on outward circumstances, on the objects of their affections, that they seldom act from the impulse of a
nerved mind, able to choose its own pursuit.
Having had to struggle incessantly with the vices of mankind, Maria's imagination
found repose in pourtraying the possible virtues the world
might contain. Pygmalion formed an ivory maid, and longed for an informing
soul. She, on the contrary, combined all the qualities of a hero's mind, and
fate presented a statue in which she might enshrine them.
We mean not to trace the progress of this passion, or recount how often Darnford and Maria were obliged to part in the midst of an
interesting conversation. Jemima ever watched on the tip-toe of fear, and
frequently separated them on a false alarm, when they would have given worlds
to remain a little longer together.
A magic lamp now seemed to be suspended in Maria's prison, and fairy landscapes
flitted round the gloomy walls, late so blank. Rushing from the depth of
despair, on the seraph wing of hope, she found herself happy.--She was beloved,
and every emotion was rapturous.
To Darnford she had not shown a decided
affection; the fear of outrunning his, a sure proof of love, made her often
assume a coldness and indifference foreign from her character; and, even when
giving way to the playful emotions of a heart just loosened from the frozen
bond of grief, there was a delicacy in her manner of expressing her
sensibility, which made him doubt whether it was the effect of love.
One evening, when Jemima left them, to listen to the sound of a distant footstep,
which seemed cautiously to approach, he seized Maria's hand--it was not
withdrawn. They conversed with earnestness of their situation; and, during the
conversation, he once or twice gently drew her towards him. He felt the
fragrance of her breath, and longed, yet feared, to touch the lips from which
it issued; spirits of purity seemed to guard them, while all the enchanting
graces of love sported on her cheeks, and languished in her eyes.
Jemima entering, he reflected on his diffidence with poignant regret, and,
she once more taking alarm, he ventured, as Maria stood near his chair, to
approach her lips with a declaration of love. She drew back with solemnity, he
hung down his head abashed; but lifting his eyes timidly, they met her's; she had determined, during that instant, and suffered
their rays to mingle. He took, with more ardour,
reassured, a half-consenting, half-reluctant kiss, reluctant only from modesty;
and there was a sacredness in her dignified manner of
reclining her glowing face on his shoulder, that powerfully impressed him.
Desire was lost in more ineffable emotions, and to protect her from insult and
sorrow—to make her happy, seemed not only the first wish of his heart, but the most
noble duty of his life. Such angelic confidence demanded the fidelity of honour; but could he, feeling her in every pulsation, could
he ever change, could he be a villain? The emotion with which she, for a
moment, allowed herself to be pressed to his bosom, the tear of rapturous
sympathy, mingled with a soft melancholy sentiment of recollected
disappointment, said--more of truth and faithfulness, than the tongue could
have given utterance to in hours! They were silent—yet discoursed, how
eloquently? till, after a moment's reflection, Maria drew her chair by the side
of his, and, with a composed sweetness of voice, and supernatural benignity of
countenance, said, "I must open my whole heart to you; you must be told
who I am, why I am here, and why, telling you I am a wife, I blush not
to"--the blush spoke the rest.
Jemima was again at her elbow, and the restraint of her presence did not prevent
an animated conversation, in which love, sly urchin, was ever at bo-peep.
So much of heaven did they enjoy, that paradise bloomed around them; or they, by a powerful spell, had been transported into Armida's garden. Love, the grand enchanter, "lapt them in Elysium," and every sense was harmonized to joy and social extacy. So animated, indeed, were their accents of tendern