From

March 16, 2008

 

 

 

 

The Sunday Times Oxford Literary Festival 2008: Julian Barnes - not dead yet, just dying

On the eve of his appearance at the festival, the author talks about God, his parents and his fear of extinction

 

 

Here are five things we didn't know about the novelist Julian Barnes. He was a “zealous and unflagging” masturbator in his youth. He has never been to a normal church service. He is deaf in his left ear. His father never said “I love you” to him. And he fears death so acutely that he wakes in the night beating his pillow and screaming, “Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh no!”

We know these now because, at the age of 62, Barnes has written a new book, Nothing to Be Frightened Of, a dazzling memoir-cum-essay crammed with black humour, quotations from French writers and personal reminiscence. He calls it “my death book” and he's been thinking about it for 20 years.

Barnes once worked out a best-case death scenario for himself, in which his doctor tells him, “I'm afraid there's good news and bad news.” Barnes promptly demands to know the truth. “How long?” The doctor replies: “How long? I'd say about 200 pages, 250 pages if you are lucky or work fast.” The new book has precisely 250 pages - and many contain jokes like this, the kind which prompt uneasy laughter and unseemly curiosity. (What is the matter with the man?)

We meet in his local pub to talk it over: God, death, identity, memory, immortality, death, nature, nurture, death ... have I forgotten anything? “Art,” he says, drily. “You know, that three-letter word.” Anything else? “I covered love and stuff in my earlier books. This one's about death. And death brings in God, and how you spend the period before death brings in art. And then there's how you got here, which is family.”

His family are given walk-on parts that are rarely flattering. Both parents were teachers, whose conversation reduced Julian and his brother Jonathan to “a sort of stunned boredom” as children. Barnes remembers having only one talk à deux with his father, a kind but bottled-up man who had Hodgkin's disease for 20 years before dying at the age of 82, in his son's words, of “being exhausted and giving up hope”.

His mother, who scolded him once for “too much imagination”, was very proud of her perfect nails and talked mainly of herself. She criticised his first novel as a “bombardment” of filth and would show her friends the cover but not allow them to look inside. He is shockingly honest about his feelings on visiting her in old age: “I couldn't face the sense of my vital spirits being drained away by her relentless solipsism and the feeling that time was being sucked from my life, time that I would never get back, before or after life.” She became interesting to Barnes only on her deathbed, raving from dementia. “I kept wondering where all this stuff was coming from.”

Barnes stresses in the early pages that this is not an autobiography, nor is he “in search of my parents”. The warnings are necessary because by far the most vivid episodes showcase his reaction to “the decent dullness of my family”: his amused discovery, for example, that a discarded leather pouffe on which he used to sit was stuffed with torn-up fragments of his parents' love letters. This doesn't seem dull in the least, but chilling. Barnes disagrees: “Given that most love letters don't survive for children to read, they are presumably destroyed. And after a certain point, what do you do with them? Do you keep them or reread them? There can be a great gap between what you felt then and what you feel now. Do you want anyone else reading your love letters? Probably not. Are you embarrassed by them? You could put them in the dustbin. That's the worst option. Or burn them? That's terrible. But using them for a practical purpose, now, that's rather good.” What has he done with his own love letters? “I'm not telling!” he says, mock-indignantly.

He is quick to rebut any suggestion that he has been disloyal to his parents' memory. “When you are writing the book, the moral responsibility is to the truth and the truth of the book. That may sound harsh but that's the case.”

He warms to his theme: “Look, it's not as if children haven't written about parents before. I didn't think that I was breaking any taboos. These were my examples, they were my parents. They were generally very good parents, but I was writing about death and dying and theirs was the example in front of me. One of the writer's general motives is to say of life, it's not like that, it's like this. And we don't talk easily, let alone enough, about dying and being dead.”

Actually, Barnes and his friends seem to discuss little else, exchanging e-mails about how “sicko” their thoughts are and vying to be the most death-obsessed. One friend, the writer Redmond O'Hanlon - thinly disguised as R in the book - had his shotgun confiscated by the police after he'd aired his suicidal thoughts on Desert Island Discs. Another friend, P, or the writer Piers Paul Read, stunned a lunch party by worrying that he, a devout Catholic, would probably be separated from his non-believing wife and children in the afterlife. I note that neither Barnes nor the other guests - agnostics and atheists to a man - mocked Read for his faith. “We're all knocking on a bit now and are slightly kinder and wiser.”

Barnes, who opens the book with the line, “I don't believe in God, but I miss him”, is rather a half-hearted agnostic-going-on-atheist. He talks sympathetically about the religious impulse and the inspiration and comfort offered by religion, like a cold child pressing his nose against the window of a warm and brightly lit house. He has enjoyed Richard Dawkins's anti-God polemic, but there is, he says, “an arrogance and contempt for others in certain forms of atheism” that he doesn't share. “As a writer, you are alive to as many human impulses as there are, that's the game.”

His sense of himself “as a writer” is never far from the surface. There's a jokey riff towards the book's end in which he starts to thank his very last reader - the final eyes to examine “this book, this page, this line”. And then he screeches into reverse, because his last reader is, by definition, someone who doesn't recommend his books to anyone else. “You really are so mean-spirited, so idle-minded, so lacking in critical judgment? Then you don't deserve me. Go on, fuck off and die. Yes, you.”

Although Barnes insists this is a joke - “Oh, yes, you are meant to laugh at it” - its hysterical edge suggests extreme anxiety. In the absence of the consolations of religion, is art, that three-letter word, his best route to immortality? “I don't want to know when the last of my books goes out of print. If I died today, I assume some of them would last 20 years, 40 years maybe. Maybe not, maybe more. It doesn't interest me.”

Does it not? “It interests me but there's nothing I can do about it. It would put me off the book I was writing if I thought: ‘Ah, this one will last.'”

What about achieving immortality through founding a dynasty, then? It's an intrusive question, because Barnes and his wife, the literary agent Pat Kavanagh, are childless, but he takes it as a writer. “The only dynasties I am interested in are dynasties of writers and artists and being a distant cousin to some of them. In Buenos Aires recently, I was asked, ‘What contemporary writers do you read?' And I replied Cervantes and Shakespeare. I think of the writers who speak to me as my coevals. Or not as my coevals, but as my elders and betters. I don't think of them as being as dead as other people.”

In the book, he writes that he has “failed - or rather declined” to pass on his genes. Is this a fancy way of saying he simply didn't want children? Barnes falls quiet. “I've never passionately wanted children but, you know, in those alternative lives that you didn't lead, obviously one would be with children. And it depends upon the hazards of who you are with. And, by the way, I don't not have children because I'm a writer. I'd just like to correct that in case that's what you're thinking. It's come up in the past, I've read stuff about: ‘Oh, here is a man so coldly devoted to his art that he refuses to have children.' And that's just ... bollocks.”

In the awkward silence that follows, I bring the conversation back to more solid ground. Do you know where you want to be buried? He looks startled. “No, I probably should have thought about it more. I don't like the idea of Highgate cemetery: they bury people in tiers there so you might not be six feet under but 12 feet under. You look very dead 12 feet under. I'd much rather be buried than cremated, but I don't know. I've done most of the thinking, but not that.” Presumably, you have time, though, to consider all the options, I say gently, trying very hard not to sound like a funeral director. “Oh yes,” he says, back on track again, a slightly forced smile on his lips. “You see, I'm not going to die any time soon. At least, I'm not planning to.”

 

© 2008 Times Newspaper Ltd

 URL: http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/books/article3533651.ece

 

Biography of Julian Barnes [1] [2] [3] [4]

Books [1] [2]

Articles [1] [2] [3] [5]  [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11]

Quotes

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